What is the best way to commit suicide when you're under 13?

Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?

22 Nov 2000 Ezekial Garrockas Tell your dad you're going to turn him in for molesting you.

21 Nov 2000 If you dont enjoy life.
Change what you are doing.
Change what you are thinking.
Change who you hang around.

Follow your passion and you'll never want to think about suicide.

Earl Nightingale said "You become what you think about."

20 Nov 2000 J What an incredible site! I really think you should take 365 of the best entries and make a 'suicide suggestion' calendar. Oh, and for my suggestion, you could always publish the calendar on glossy laminated paper. Then lock yourself in a closet and burn a few boxes of them until you suffocate.

19 Nov 2000 Mark Murphy Do nothing. I absolutely, positively can guarantee you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will eventually die. In this universe of existential horror, with its unimaginable gulf of time and space, our lives are mayfly brief.

18 Nov 2000 big tim disrespect me

17 Nov 2000 kettle meaney The drug ketamine can be used to simulate a near death experience in all its earth-shattering majesty. Actual suicide, in any form, seems uninspired. There are plenty of references to be found online.

17 Nov 2000 toadprincess eat yer brussell sprouts

17 Nov 2000 righty listen to these people. listen to your parents, your teachers, anyone who claims to have any kind of authority, the media, law enforcement, psychiatrists, doctors, you local role models.
listen to them and you will find a passive suicide. you don't even have to actually do anything. they are more than willing to do the killing for you.

17 Nov 2000 Rich I don't know, I made it past there and so therefore can't help you. You really need the advice of someone who's already done it, but that probably wouldn't work 'cos they're dead.

Someone suggested hiring someone to do it. They said it was too expensive, duh! Pay them after the jobs done, dummy!

Anyway, seeing as your question is altogether a bit dumb one wonders whether you might be better placed debating whether you have the intellectual capacity to consider the question from all angles. I think the answer to this is probably no.

I wouldn't suggest it as a reasonable course of action anyway, your web skills are pretty damned good, so get a decent job and telework from Mauritius, then you might be happy.

17 Nov 2000 cacogen Before you die, you must ensure a proper reception.

A favorite pet will do. One that has passed on; recently, if possible.

Tell it to wait for you. The journey onward will be easier with company.

As for the manner of death, might I suggest an ill-advised lunge after an accidentally dropped bottle of sleeping pills at a tall building's edge?

17 Nov 2000 j random stranger take out your heart
you cannot live without your heart
put it on the web

17 Nov 2000 bruce Ask your adult family to: Spoil you; Hug you; Love you to death.
Ask your younger family members to: Tease you, Annoy you, or Tickle you to death.
After all, we've all heard those expressions used, so they must have worked sometime !

18 Oct 2000 michael You have to stay alive until you're 30..40 years old, then to recognize that it is already too late to kill yourself because you missed the right time. So you stay alive until age/cancer/a car accident/ (whatever) does the job of doing this liveless life away.
More "beautiful": to recognize that you've hurt someone you have never had the wish to hurt and let your soul cry until it is dead. The empty cover may stay longer. --- Hey, is THIS what a kid should worry about?

09 Oct 2000 Andrew Hill Kill Mouchette's cat and don't tell her why you did it.

25 Sep 2000 Çhriß To go to the pixelated cat and DO NOT KILL IT. IT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL YOU. Even though you didn't kill yourself, you let something else kill you. It's kinda like suicide?

18 Aug 2000 Scary_person take a box. think of all the things that you are afraid of. put that in the box. think of the times you wanted to take your favourite steak knife and pierce your father's temple because he refuses to let you see an R rated movie with one of your best friends. put that in the box. think of the times you thought about hurting a family member or loved one. put that in the box. then, think of times when your best friend betrayed you and you wanted to hurt them badly. put that in the box. think of times when you are alone and crying because your father abused you and left marks and you couldn't tell anyone or else the pain would never stop. put that in the box. think of when you are mad at God and how he betrayed you and the world. put that in the box. think of every time you saw a person cry. put that in the box. think of when you were young and carefree and had no problems, but you are thirteen and have more problems than you would never wish on any thirteen year old. put that in the box. think of everyone that has lied to you. put that in the box. think of when you were left home because you were thirteen and your brother or sister is older and they only hang out with older friends. put that in the box. think of all the times you wanted to die. put that in the box. now, seal the box. when you are ready to kill yourself, open it.

13 Jul 2000 squid Can't you kill Britney instead?

03 Jul 2000 sander to look at my father in his fucking ugly face

03 Jul 2000 Suicides-R-us Suicides-R-us kit from Mouchette:

Never have suicides been such a blast With thousands of combinations of killing yourself "suicides-R-us" is a revolution in playkits! The kit includes; plastic razors and knifes, guns, spirits and liquire, ropes, chemicals and different kinds of drugs such as: heroine, MDMA, LSD, PCP, DMT, DXM, cocain and many more famous narcotics! There are also manuals included to guide you to the perfect murder - on yourself! Impress your parents with a spectacular suicide, buy suicides-R-us - NOW!

Available in a store near you, for only $9.99. (May contain small parts unsuitable for children under 4yrs of age)

26 Jun 2000 m77 I have a different idea. How not to kill yourself:
1.be yourself
2.be good to self and others
3.stay innnocent and young at heart
4.have something that gives you strength with you. my own favorite is: "come and sit down beside me, i said to myself,
and although it doesn't make sense, I held my own hand, as a small sign of trust and together I sat on the fence"

Hope this doesn't sound too corny. I know people hate corny. People also hate to try and live.

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Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
22 Nov 2000	Ezekial Garrockas	Tell your dad you're going to turn him in for molesting you.
21 Nov 2000		If you dont enjoy life. Change what you are doing. Change what you are thinking. Change who you hang around. Follow your passion and you'll never want to think about suicide. Earl Nightingale said "You become what you think about."
20 Nov 2000	J	What an incredible site! I really think you should take 365 of the best entries and make a 'suicide suggestion' calendar. Oh, and for my suggestion, you could always publish the calendar on glossy laminated paper. Then lock yourself in a closet and burn a few boxes of them until you suffocate.
19 Nov 2000	Mark Murphy	Do nothing. I absolutely, positively can guarantee you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will eventually die. In this universe of existential horror, with its unimaginable gulf of time and space, our lives are mayfly brief.
18 Nov 2000	big tim	disrespect me
17 Nov 2000	kettle meaney	The drug ketamine can be used to simulate a near death experience in all its earth-shattering majesty. Actual suicide, in any form, seems uninspired. There are plenty of references to be found online.
17 Nov 2000	toadprincess	eat yer brussell sprouts
17 Nov 2000	righty	listen to these people. listen to your parents, your teachers, anyone who claims to have any kind of authority, the media, law enforcement, psychiatrists, doctors, you local role models. listen to them and you will find a passive suicide. you don't even have to actually do anything. they are more than willing to do the killing for you.
17 Nov 2000	Rich	I don't know, I made it past there and so therefore can't help you. You really need the advice of someone who's already done it, but that probably wouldn't work 'cos they're dead. Someone suggested hiring someone to do it. They said it was too expensive, duh! Pay them after the jobs done, dummy! Anyway, seeing as your question is altogether a bit dumb one wonders whether you might be better placed debating whether you have the intellectual capacity to consider the question from all angles. I think the answer to this is probably no. I wouldn't suggest it as a reasonable course of action anyway, your web skills are pretty damned good, so get a decent job and telework from Mauritius, then you might be happy.
17 Nov 2000	cacogen	Before you die, you must ensure a proper reception. A favorite pet will do. One that has passed on; recently, if possible. Tell it to wait for you. The journey onward will be easier with company. As for the manner of death, might I suggest an ill-advised lunge after an accidentally dropped bottle of sleeping pills at a tall building's edge?
17 Nov 2000	j random stranger	take out your heart you cannot live without your heart put it on the web
17 Nov 2000	bruce	Ask your adult family to: Spoil you; Hug you; Love you to death. Ask your younger family members to: Tease you, Annoy you, or Tickle you to death. After all, we've all heard those expressions used, so they must have worked sometime !
18 Oct 2000	michael	You have to stay alive until you're 30..40 years old, then to recognize that it is already too late to kill yourself because you missed the right time. So you stay alive until age/cancer/a car accident/ (whatever) does the job of doing this liveless life away. More "beautiful": to recognize that you've hurt someone you have never had the wish to hurt and let your soul cry until it is dead. The empty cover may stay longer. --- Hey, is THIS what a kid should worry about?
09 Oct 2000	Andrew Hill	Kill Mouchette's cat and don't tell her why you did it.
25 Sep 2000	Çhriß	To go to the pixelated cat and DO NOT KILL IT. IT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL YOU. Even though you didn't kill yourself, you let something else kill you. It's kinda like suicide?
18 Aug 2000	Scary_person	take a box. think of all the things that you are afraid of. put that in the box. think of the times you wanted to take your favourite steak knife and pierce your father's temple because he refuses to let you see an R rated movie with one of your best friends. put that in the box. think of the times you thought about hurting a family member or loved one. put that in the box. then, think of times when your best friend betrayed you and you wanted to hurt them badly. put that in the box. think of times when you are alone and crying because your father abused you and left marks and you couldn't tell anyone or else the pain would never stop. put that in the box. think of when you are mad at God and how he betrayed you and the world. put that in the box. think of every time you saw a person cry. put that in the box. think of when you were young and carefree and had no problems, but you are thirteen and have more problems than you would never wish on any thirteen year old. put that in the box. think of everyone that has lied to you. put that in the box. think of when you were left home because you were thirteen and your brother or sister is older and they only hang out with older friends. put that in the box. think of all the times you wanted to die. put that in the box. now, seal the box. when you are ready to kill yourself, open it.
13 Jul 2000	squid	Can't you kill Britney instead?
03 Jul 2000	sander	to look at my father in his fucking ugly face
03 Jul 2000	Suicides-R-us	Suicides-R-us kit from Mouchette: Never have suicides been such a blast With thousands of combinations of killing yourself "suicides-R-us" is a revolution in playkits! The kit includes; plastic razors and knifes, guns, spirits and liquire, ropes, chemicals and different kinds of drugs such as: heroine, MDMA, LSD, PCP, DMT, DXM, cocain and many more famous narcotics! There are also manuals included to guide you to the perfect murder - on yourself! Impress your parents with a spectacular suicide, buy suicides-R-us - NOW! Available in a store near you, for only $9.99. (May contain small parts unsuitable for children under 4yrs of age)
26 Jun 2000	m77	I have a different idea. How not to kill yourself: 1.be yourself 2.be good to self and others 3.stay innnocent and young at heart 4.have something that gives you strength with you. my own favorite is: "come and sit down beside me, i said to myself, and although it doesn't make sense, I held my own hand, as a small sign of trust and together I sat on the fence" Hope this doesn't sound too corny. I know people hate corny. People also hate to try and live.