Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
27 Jan 2025	Azrea	A song hums softly for a dead fly, Wings bent, body still— A melody of tenderness, Too kind for something so small. I sit and listen, Wrapped in its gentle refrain. It feels like love, Like a warmth I’ve never earned. But then I wonder— If I love a song for the dead, Am I just like the fly? Lifeless, fragile, Only worthy of care in my silence? The thought gnaws at me, Yet I can’t turn away. Because even if I am, Even if I’m nothing, At least the song still plays.
26 Jan 2025	vinodelectable	there are eyes in the walls that look at me and hands in the floors that reach up and try to pull me down with them there are black dogs that follow me and bark when i move but i cant hear them, i feel the barks and when i tell people they say there are no such dogs that bark feelings especially not black ones and so i reach out to touch the dogs and suddenly there is smoke and i cant breathe but i can i just think i cant and then i think is anything even real? it doesnt feel like it i feel like im living in a world thats not my own, one i didnt want to be brought into i see things no one else sees and they call me insane, but insane i am not. i am completely sane, they just dont see what i see they never played with death like i did and they never faced the world like my mother did and they never felt the hands that push them down down down into the pillow, the hands that force themselves inside them the same hands that try to carry me to hell the same hands i look at when i wake up the same hands that keep my soul clean, but theyre not mine idk whos they are the same eyes that watch, the same feeling over and over until i cant feel ever again its better to end it before it starts
26 Jan 2025	Azrea	I have been sitting in this hollow room, my thoughts are loud enough to echo off the dull walls that I wish to tear down. I was thinking. Do we say "God has forsaken me" Because we truly believe he has left, or do we say it because we hope he will hear our cries and answer that we are not alone? When I say "God has forsaken me", do I even know what I am saying, Mouchette? Why does it seem as though words tumble out of my mouth mindlessly, as though I am a ghost with nothing left but it's voice. Wouldn't it be better to be a ghost with just it's voice, than to be a human with a voice that can be heard? The ghost can scream about it's pain and not be shunned, not be noticed, but a human can scream about it's pain and be stuck in a white room, instead of being treated with the love it deserves. Tell me, Mouchette, do you wish to be the ghost or the human? Any sane person will tell you the right answer is the human, but a person who understands, who has felt and cried and been hurt, will tell you it is better to be the ghost.
24 Jan 2025	Azrea	What is it like, Mouchette, To fade into the dark, To curl up And never feel again? I wish for it, That emptiness, That silence where no one calls my name, Where no one sees me Or remembers I was ever here. I want to slip into the void, Where the weight of the world No longer presses against my chest, Where the hands that burn Don’t reach for me anymore, Where nothing matters But the hum of nothingness. Mouchette, do you hear it too? The quiet, the emptiness That swallows everything whole, Where all the pain drifts away Like dust in the wind? Can you feel it calling, Telling you to let go And never come back? Would anyone notice If I just disappeared? Would it be better, If my body was just a carcass in a casket? Nameless, Unwanted, Unseen. I close my eyes, And for a moment, I am nothing, Just a shadow slipping into the dark Where there is no more fight, No more struggle, Just the sweet relief Of forgetting who I am. Who am I? Mouchette, Could this be the end? Could this be death, To drown in the void And never reach the surface again? Is this possible the most peaceful way to go? Tell me, Mouchette, where do you go when you desire to drown?
24 Jan 2025	Azrea	Mother’s hands are where they shouldn't be. A blur of sour breath and slurred lullabies. She tells me it’s love, But I don’t know this kind. I didn’t ask for her touch, Didn’t beg to carry her burden, Didn’t pray to be swallowed whole By the shadow she becomes When the bottle runs dry. Mouchette, do you think her hands remember What they do when the world tips sideways? Do they remember me, Or am I just the result of too much to drink, a place for her hands to find ground when shes too drunk to think. She says she loves me. But is love supposed to weigh so much? Like the smell of broken promises And the heat of shame pressed into my skin? Tell me, Mouchette, If a mother’s "love" can kill her child, Do we still call it love? If I disappear between her drunken whispers, Will I be remembered for what I was, Or only for what she made of me? Mouchette, what happens When the hands that should hold Turn into chains that bind? Is it selfish to want freedom If it means someone has to die? I ask the silence, but it gives no answers. Only the echo of my pleading, Ringing hollow in a room that feels too small.
24 Jan 2025	Azrea	I cannot fathom the weight of your hands, clutching my grief like a blade to the throat. You wove my death into your melody, a hymn to spite sung with borrowed breath. Shall I name this silence or cradle it, since I am the carcass you carved it from? You are terrible, useless, a specter feasting on the ashes of my undoing. I hate you— but only because my ghosts demand it.
13 Jan 2025	Johnny Melton	I watched my pseudonym's namesake cry today. Where will he go? Where will I go?
09 Jan 2025	Coccinelle	You keep postponing it until you’re 14, 15, 16, until you live away from home so you don’t hurt your parents and little sister as much, and suddenly you’re 25 and you finally look both ways before crossing the street again
04 Jan 2025	a fly, buzzing gram	there is always someone, probably, in my blind spot who reaches out to me. i take their arms and hide my figure in theirs. use their hair to tie a noose, their arms to suffocate. their pitiful eyes wash over me. my fingers knead at their skin. thousands, hundreds, millions of pores covering that rubber surface. focus on one for too long and they'll steal you. steal you into a place where the only thing you want to do is give birth just the eat the infant
04 Jan 2025	vinodelectable	What do we do when we forget who we are, Mouchette? What do we earn when we kill ourselves, Mouchette? Some say it is just an easy way out, Some say I am selfish, But would not it all be good and right if I was gone? Mouchette, would my family be happy? Would my friends suffer? Would God really watch over them? I feel as if he is not watching me any longer, that he has lost all hope in me Tell me, Mouchette, if God loves his children, is that why he kills them?
29 Dec 2024	charlotte	i have frequently visited this website since i was 11. now i'm 15 and i do not feel that different, just maybe happier? Still, i wonder if i was meant to die back then. i just did not want others to be in pain. this website is one of the reasons i made my own. and if you don't mind me plugging it here, it's at the address denpanightmare.neocities.org maybe we'll meet again. :D
02 Dec 2024	lebanull03	You only truly die when you're completely forgotten. One day you will rot and decay until there's nothing left, but as long as your name is still uttered by others' lips, you're alive. The internet has made everyone immortal. Death is, well, dead. Long live Mouchette.
13 Nov 2024	my name is still kira	Mouchette, a few days ago I received the most curious email. Someone, that I did not know, asked me how I was doing, with this website as the subject! I know I used to be here, my email was here, I replied to this form, a long time ago, but I cannot find my answer. I do not remember what I said, or anything about myself back then, so it seems the disappearance has killed who I was that day. This ties into what I think may be the best way to kill yourself, at any age (including under 13!) - simply forget who you were yesterday, leave no trace or proof of who you were, and you'll die everyday. Hope this helps, and I hope me of today doesn't die too soon in your hands, for I will forget, whether I like it or not, very soon.
10 Nov 2024	Ivory	I don't know how I got here. A few rabbit holes I suppose. Years have passed since I tried to kms at 12, 5 exactly. Things haven't gotten completely better, but that's how it goes. Life is tripping over your own two feet until you eventually end up in your grave. If you have nothing left in this world, live to spite it, live off rage and hate, let it fall from you with your tears, fight every step of the way to piss off whoever ruined your life, and if you can't think of someone, blame a malevolent god. Stick it to the pricks in charge, and love yourself to stick them full of burning needles
03 Nov 2024	Null	please don’t, you’re most likely the only person that could come to understand my pain, after all, i almost ceased to exist that one fateful day in october… so please, come with me instead, that way we can hide from everyone else.
22 Oct 2024	Jamie	Pretending to do it, without actually doing it. But living can be even better, & I hope living ends up being as good for you as it was for me.
13 Aug 2024	R. I. P. (really incredible pie)	Dont fucking kill yourself... Get a hobby. Something you like. For instance, create a fake online identity and play the role of a flat earther. Not because you give two shits about if the earth is flat or oval or w/e. But... Because you can gather and regurgitate the most inane flat earth debate points, listen to round earthers but disagree and say words that sounds like they are wrong .... This is just to piss people off. And statistics show 90% of flat earthers dont believe that shit they just do it to troll round earthers. My point is you find your own happiness. And this is what i do. In person and on the internet. Just interject, "that proves the earth is flat" into a conversation not anything about flat earth and watch... You hijacked the thread. And theres always an argument. You can just sit back and watch. Or interject something dumb... "Thats why some people have flat feet" and just laugh at what they say.
13 Aug 2024	Button	I've posted my suggestion here before, but I must say that I didn't really put much thought in it then. I had some experience with it when I was under 13. I was probably 9 years old when tried to hang myself. I just thought that no one cares about me (that might happen to anyone, even with little kids). Then because of the same thought I tried again at 14. The feeling of loneliness is familiar to many people. Most of them felt that at least few times, someone feels that very often or most of time, but not everyone notices that more likely someone cares. You're just not always able to see it because of your own feeling. If someone also feels that no one cares about them, just try to think about it. It might be possible that you just don't let others help you, but to them you might be a piece of their own inner world.
24 Jul 2024	cmsm	To: Website creator Sometimes I sigh that there is no essential difference between humans and apes. We are all slaves of DNA. Birth, aging, illness and death are our personal [wars] from a microscopic perspective. From a macroscopic perspective, it is just DNA trying to ensure more replication. I still remember that when I wanted to commit suicide, although I had made full psychological preparations, I still failed to commit suicide. It was not that I didn't want to die, but that DNA didn't want me to die. From then on, I no longer believed in free will. Wait, don't we still have memes? You may ask. But are the memes we accept voluntarily accepted? First of all, we cannot decide our native language. And language has a great influence on a person's thinking. For example, people who are native English speakers especially like to explain things because That/Which is very useful as an attributive clause; Japanese people like to say half of the sentence because Japanese is full of hints; and as a Chinese, it is naturally difficult for me to perceive what the unique language logic of the Chinese is. Human potential is very large. If a person starts learning a language from an early age, there will not be too many obstacles, but when the time is relatively late, everything is too late. Thousands of words can be summed up in one sentence: The universe is so big, it has nothing to do with you and me, we are just humble slaves. However, I still want to know where the end of the universe is... from cmsm Thanks for listening The following is the original Chinese version. Sorry, my English is not good so I can only use the translator HAHA 致网站制作者： 有时我会感叹，人类和猿猴其实没有本质区别。我们都是DNA的奴隶，生老病死从微观上来看是我们个人的[战争]，宏观的看，只不过是DNA为了确保更多份的复制罢了。我到现在还记得，当年我想要自杀的时候，明明已经做好了完全的思想准备后，却下不去手。不是我不想死，而是我的DNA不想让我死，从此我再也不相信自由意志这样的鬼话了。 等等，我们不是还有模因吗？你可能会这样问。可是我们接受的模因是我们自愿接受的吗？首先，我们决定不了我们的母语。而语言对于一个人思维的影响非常大。比如以英语为母语的人就特别喜欢解释东西，因为That/Which做定语从句非常好用；日本人很喜欢说话说一半，因为日语就是饱含暗示的；而作为一个中国人，我自然而然地难以察觉中国人独特的语言逻辑是什么。人的潜能是很大的，如果一个人幼年开始学习一门语言，那么他就不会遇到太多障碍，但是等到相对晚的时候，一切就来不及了。 千言万语总结成一句话： 宇宙这么大，和你我都没有什么关系，我们都只是卑微的奴隶。 但，我还是想知道宇宙的尽头在什么地方...... 来自：cmsm
13 Jul 2024	Mikey	sometimes it feels like things are happening to me in symphony. small occurrences build up over the course of a moment to create a new quality i've never experienced before, even if it's just me standing at work taking a customer's phone number for a rewards account. it's the same thing that happens when all the different tracks of a song come together to form the part that gets stuck in your head. i have OCD and bipolar disorder, and i've thought about killing myself since i was 12 like you, mouchette. in my head i've done it so many times in so many different ways, it's hard to keep track of which one i'm actually gonna use. i'm 20 now, and i'll be 21 on september 3rd. during my last depressive episode, i told myself that on the day i turn 21, i'll make the final decision on if i go on to live or if i'll end it right there on that night. since my meds got adjusted, i've been feeling a lot better and haven't wanted to do it, so i won't have a real answer for you until september 3rd. see you then, mouchette

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