What is the best way to commit suicide when you're under 13?

Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?

03 Jul 2004 Suddenly Susan Botox over and over and over again, yeah! It's the right way!

29 Jun 2004 Anonymous tell your brother you want to see how long you can hold your breathe. Tell him to hold you down no matter what you do.

28 Jun 2004 Tanen Kiriyami Go look for spongebob square without scuba gear...forgetting to come up for air

27 Jun 2004 Tuba Ruba Here's what you do. Go to Niagara Falls and jump over the falls. If you die, you die and you're happy. If you live, you'll be famous for surviving and you'll get lots of attention and shit. Niagara Falls isn't your cup of tea??? Do some other crazy ass impossible stunt, then if you survive, you'll be famous and whatever. So going out in a blaze of insanity is the best way to kill yourself, especially if you're under 13 because people will be even more amazed by your fucked up self if you survive some crazy ass stunt.

Fat_ass_mother_fucker@fuckmyass.com

24 Jun 2004 AlreadyDead Always look on the bright side of life!
Don't worry, be happy!
Laugh at depression !
If you kill yourself your parents will cry because a funeral is very expensive.
Drink a glass of urine to attain instant-enlightment today!

14 Jun 2004 CYKO-DISORDER Suffocate yourself in a sandbox! oh oh oh! what about a nice plastic bag? ((SARCASM))OMG dude! your freakin sick! who would do that!?

11 Jun 2004 Robert Hamburger Seppuku with a frisbee

Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today.

But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you don’t have access to stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it.

Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend.

Step 2 Clean the Frisbee.

Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around

Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream.

Step 5 Get really super pissed.

Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial)

Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard.

Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it.

Step 9 Wait.

Step 10 Die.

If you succeed, everybody will be like “Holy Crap!”

08 Jun 2004 trev This is how my sister killed herself, she took a water hose and shoved it down her throut while it was on full blast, she blew up like a ballon and eventually she litterally burts her insides came out everywhere, to bad she did this at my neighbours bar-mitzbah after party in the pool and she got blood and her insides all over the guest...it was amazing her that POP and seeing a shower of blood on everything..oh yeah HOLD ON... dont let go....keep choking your self!! c'mon YOU CAN DO IT!!

02 Jun 2004 ben jump in front of a speeding ambulance

01 Jun 2004 Jason Drink battery acid, inject air into your veins, pretend you are old enough to drink by making cocktails of various house hold cleaning products.

31 May 2004 if ur white go to the ghetto and start singing oldies

28 May 2004 firehead go to NYC and jump off one of the world trade center's twin towers... wait, you can't.... they're gone!!! haha! fuck you america!

28 May 2004 firehead call your dad "bitch" and spit on his face. he'll do the rest.

21 May 2004 alecia put your head underneath a lawnmower ... you don't need a licence for that. Or... jump on craig (of slipknot) with the spikes's head... that would be cool...

20 May 2004 FUCKED UP Enlist in a Drama Art class then steal the disguise kit. Disguise yourself in Bin Laden with his big ugly fat beard, then steal a prop AK-47. Go to the grocery store and buy a case of pepsi cans. Empty them up and fix them to a belt then bucle up your fake explosives belt.

Then, when Anderson Cooper makes his CNN show, go right ahead, break and enter the studio and claim a terrorist attack in front of national TV.

About a few minutes later, the FBI, the CIA, the ARMY will all be pointing their guns and you will be shot with hundreads of bullets and will be dead.

18 May 2004 abz grab the jack from your garage shuv it up ure puss and start pumpin till u split in half lmao

13 May 2004 pierrot le fou euh... je dirai... dévisagement avec les ongles, puis on fini avec acide aciéique... ouai ça sonne bien pour une bonne fin de semaine entre amis...

13 May 2004 Rock on dude prens un exacto et enlève toi petit bout de peau par petit bout de peau jusqu'a ce que tu soir rendu au muscle et ensuite perfore toi le coeur avec une petite aiguille et fais-en une passoire

12 May 2004 emily age 12 slit the wrist with a chef's knife or drive the chef's knife thru your stomach and pull out guts

08 May 2004 Nicolette Well first suggestion i would have is to go visit Charles Manson in a enclosed room. Better yet if your 13 and a chick get pregnant and go do an interview with him... im shure he'd love it... well if you live in the south go play in the swamps when it rains if you dont get ravagely eaten by some swamp creature you'll probably have some kind of incurable flesh eating fungus growing in your vaginal areas... My next suggestion works better in the south but it can be modified to fit your needs... Get caught smoking by the cops and assure them you over fourty-five then tell the gay one to stop looking at you like a piece of meat and that you the first black member of the KKK. Take off your pants and tell them ou have to show them something and piss on them. repeat several times till they get aggravated enough to shoot you. the upside you die and a cop gets arrested win win situation... Drink a cup and a half of bleach; piss of a sadomasochist; put a water hose down your throat and turn on hose (full blast of course) for at least 10 minutes; grab a colouring book and a razor and go sit in a corner sketch the images in the book on your skin dont stop till your whole body is covered; and my last suggestion is to eat shit and die.

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Read the archives

Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
03 Jul 2004	Suddenly Susan	Botox over and over and over again, yeah! It's the right way!
29 Jun 2004	Anonymous	tell your brother you want to see how long you can hold your breathe. Tell him to hold you down no matter what you do.
28 Jun 2004	Tanen Kiriyami	Go look for spongebob square without scuba gear...forgetting to come up for air
27 Jun 2004	Tuba Ruba	Here's what you do. Go to Niagara Falls and jump over the falls. If you die, you die and you're happy. If you live, you'll be famous for surviving and you'll get lots of attention and shit. Niagara Falls isn't your cup of tea??? Do some other crazy ass impossible stunt, then if you survive, you'll be famous and whatever. So going out in a blaze of insanity is the best way to kill yourself, especially if you're under 13 because people will be even more amazed by your fucked up self if you survive some crazy ass stunt. Fat_ass_mother_fucker@fuckmyass.com
24 Jun 2004	AlreadyDead	Always look on the bright side of life! Don't worry, be happy! Laugh at depression ! If you kill yourself your parents will cry because a funeral is very expensive. Drink a glass of urine to attain instant-enlightment today!
14 Jun 2004	CYKO-DISORDER	Suffocate yourself in a sandbox! oh oh oh! what about a nice plastic bag? ((SARCASM))OMG dude! your freakin sick! who would do that!?
11 Jun 2004	Robert Hamburger	Seppuku with a frisbee Seppuku is the ancient art of killing yourself if you get super pissed and can’t find anybody else to kill. Ninjas use all sorts of crap to kill themselves—guns, ropes, knives, lasers, spears, etc.—and don’t even think twice about it. These guys would kill themselves for just about any reason and often for no reason at all: that’s why we there are so few ninjas today. But if you want to commit Seppuku and you’re like me, you don’t have access to stuff like lasers. But there’s hope. I tried to kill myself by swallowing a frisbee a couple of times—and believe me, it’s pretty cool. The only catch is you have to be really super pissed to do it. Step 1 Get a frisbee from the store or friend. Step 2 Clean the Frisbee. Step 3 Make sure your parents aren’t around Step 4 Put something slippery on it, like butter or cream. Step 5 Get really super pissed. Step 6 Fold the Frisbee hard (this is crucial) Step 7 Keep folded and insert Frisbee into mouth hard. Step 8 Push hard until you can’t see it. Step 9 Wait. Step 10 Die. If you succeed, everybody will be like “Holy Crap!”
08 Jun 2004	trev	This is how my sister killed herself, she took a water hose and shoved it down her throut while it was on full blast, she blew up like a ballon and eventually she litterally burts her insides came out everywhere, to bad she did this at my neighbours bar-mitzbah after party in the pool and she got blood and her insides all over the guest...it was amazing her that POP and seeing a shower of blood on everything..oh yeah HOLD ON... dont let go....keep choking your self!! c'mon YOU CAN DO IT!!
02 Jun 2004	ben	jump in front of a speeding ambulance
01 Jun 2004	Jason	Drink battery acid, inject air into your veins, pretend you are old enough to drink by making cocktails of various house hold cleaning products.
31 May 2004		if ur white go to the ghetto and start singing oldies
28 May 2004	firehead	go to NYC and jump off one of the world trade center's twin towers... wait, you can't.... they're gone!!! haha! fuck you america!
28 May 2004	firehead	call your dad "bitch" and spit on his face. he'll do the rest.
21 May 2004	alecia	put your head underneath a lawnmower ... you don't need a licence for that. Or... jump on craig (of slipknot) with the spikes's head... that would be cool...
20 May 2004	FUCKED UP	Enlist in a Drama Art class then steal the disguise kit. Disguise yourself in Bin Laden with his big ugly fat beard, then steal a prop AK-47. Go to the grocery store and buy a case of pepsi cans. Empty them up and fix them to a belt then bucle up your fake explosives belt. Then, when Anderson Cooper makes his CNN show, go right ahead, break and enter the studio and claim a terrorist attack in front of national TV. About a few minutes later, the FBI, the CIA, the ARMY will all be pointing their guns and you will be shot with hundreads of bullets and will be dead.
18 May 2004	abz	grab the jack from your garage shuv it up ure puss and start pumpin till u split in half lmao
13 May 2004	pierrot le fou	euh... je dirai... dévisagement avec les ongles, puis on fini avec acide aciéique... ouai ça sonne bien pour une bonne fin de semaine entre amis...
13 May 2004	Rock on dude	prens un exacto et enlève toi petit bout de peau par petit bout de peau jusqu'a ce que tu soir rendu au muscle et ensuite perfore toi le coeur avec une petite aiguille et fais-en une passoire
12 May 2004	emily age 12	slit the wrist with a chef's knife or drive the chef's knife thru your stomach and pull out guts
08 May 2004	Nicolette	Well first suggestion i would have is to go visit Charles Manson in a enclosed room. Better yet if your 13 and a chick get pregnant and go do an interview with him... im shure he'd love it... well if you live in the south go play in the swamps when it rains if you dont get ravagely eaten by some swamp creature you'll probably have some kind of incurable flesh eating fungus growing in your vaginal areas... My next suggestion works better in the south but it can be modified to fit your needs... Get caught smoking by the cops and assure them you over fourty-five then tell the gay one to stop looking at you like a piece of meat and that you the first black member of the KKK. Take off your pants and tell them ou have to show them something and piss on them. repeat several times till they get aggravated enough to shoot you. the upside you die and a cop gets arrested win win situation... Drink a cup and a half of bleach; piss of a sadomasochist; put a water hose down your throat and turn on hose (full blast of course) for at least 10 minutes; grab a colouring book and a razor and go sit in a corner sketch the images in the book on your skin dont stop till your whole body is covered; and my last suggestion is to eat shit and die.