Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
11 May 2024	goodruff ovalepsie	Go out with a bang. fireworks display show inserted right up your ass and light the fuse
11 May 2024	ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ＼(°o°)／bears run faster	Ahh yes, we meet again, and such a pleasure it is. Do you come here often?? Thats right! Its time... For another exciting read in the clinically insane chronicles. A place where the worst of the loons all meet the end of a life commitment at the worst asylums. We have files on a girl with pig tails eating the padding on the wall to try and get to her grandmothers house and of course the foam filled up her stomach and swole up twice as large and ripped her stomach open. She bled out internally. So just eat a bunch of foam padding if you are going for that quick and easy clean up for your survivors, who will be very sad you ate a bunch of foam, and then we will have goobermint regulations making foam illegal. Yeah, you are going to screw up nice chairs for everyone. Maybe just dont do it unless you want to go out like screw everyone and you having nice foam seats for your ass and comfortable matresses... Yeah like fuck everyone not in a 3rd world country is basically what you would be saying there. And remember, if your neighbor beats his wife, you should subtly see if she will cheat on her husband. And you should because when you think about it there can only be one logical conclusion where O. J. Simpson couldn't fit the glove on his hand and JFK and Moses from the bible circumsized all the young boys thru out all of rome. Pope francis got circumsized three times. Its going to be in the next edition of world records book.
10 May 2024	penis wrinkle slime.	Inject liquid shit directly into your tongue. Put the shit in a blender and use the puree setting. You may choose to add coriander and/or salt to taste.
07 May 2024	dr. vonhuff	Research embryonic cloneing. Clone yourself. Kill the clone. When everyone is sad and crying because they think you are dead walk out and say hi guys!
07 May 2024	megatron lord of the decepticons.	Identify as a gay boy, take a vow of celibacy and shove a red hot iron rod right up your ass. Immediately upon removal of red hot iron rod from ass inject triple antibiotic ointment and lots of burn cream with a strong numbing agent. Now your seared gay butthole will heal shut and you can die of sepsis from impaction. And if you change your mind and dont go thru with it always remember... For only a dollar a day you can feed the starving south african kid whose dad killed the white farmer he used to buy food from, before he killed him. (Sarah Mclachlan's wings of an angel plays in background)
06 May 2024	talking heads.	Every since i got my clit pierced with a 5 karat diamond stud i just cant stop gushing. I was in the fresh produce section, checking out the cucumbers, and i am leaving safety hazards everywhere. They had to come put out the caution wet floor signs and mop it up. Then later i was at the pharmacy getting my valium, xanax, and adderall and again i exploded a river right next to an old lady on an electric scooter. The gush was to much and it shorted out the scooters electronics. She said she was going to sue me for cumming on her mobility aid. I told her to suck my dick and then i came again all over her scooter and wig. I had to then go to the bank. Right after i said i need to make a deposit i dropped a small kiddie pool and flooded the teller booths and the lobby. They tried to tell me i had to pay for damages. I explained it wasn't my fault and showed him my new diamond. He said, thats nice ma'am but i still have to freeze your account. So i had to go open a new account at another bank. I don't know if i can wear this new diamond on a date. It might send the wrong impression.
06 May 2024	professional meme thief.	I read a medical study today about how watching birds can help with mental health issues. Thats probably true for the magical moments you see the birds but alas they will all fly away, just like your hopes and dreams. Sometimes i think about getting lots of bird feeders and some cats and hang the feeders low. In spring time cut back on cat food and watch the birds then. I should get some cameras mounted and use footage to make memes.
05 May 2024	bushwick bill	Try removing your liver and gallbladder with a scalpel, and a wire coat hanger bent into a hook. I was able to do mine on the third try. The coolest part about removing your liver is you can slice it thin and fry it with some onions and it will grow back in 3 days.
04 May 2024	free travel all expenses paid trip to...	Become a drug mule that shoves condems full of drugs up their ass. When one package burst you overdose on the plane way up, high in the sky. So very high, in the sky.
04 May 2024	peppridge farm remembers...	Today i got my package in the mail and i am so excited. I got a MARVEL. Its an endoscope that can make a 3-D image of your brain. So i am officially open for business so if you or someone you know needs brain surgery dont hesitate to drop me a line. Or if you would just like to get a 3-D image of your brain for wall art or a t-shirt or even a tattoo. Service also includes memory wipe standard and you provide memory files for implant or you may choose one of our default happy life memory implants. An additional fee is charged to talk to our consultant in writing your memory implants. We also have some really crazy memory implants like being chained in a dungeon and forced to watch a seriously mental retarded chic slam her crotch with a huge dildo with a rubber ducky that quacks as a handle for 12 years 364 days 23 hours 59 minutes 59 seconds... And then you are set free by aquaman, you grab his trident and impale your skull. Now you can tell everyone about the time you met aquaman.
04 May 2024	are you not entertained?	Find a wind tunnel used for testing the structural integrity of products in hurricane winds. Go in tunnel. Strap yourself in for 200+mph winds... Turn on wind tunnel fans... Dump tons of broken glass shards into the wind tunnel current and you are ground into fine bits and the wind evaporates all your juices. Make sure to wear saftey goggles so you can watch it all.
03 May 2024	the rape guru	The culture of india is heavily steeped in gang rapes that the woman... Or girl dies from the gang rape. Normally they continue to gang rape for hours after the gang rape victim has died.
03 May 2024	a real great guy 72.4% of the time.	Do a bunch of kebabs with rat meat and invite a bunch of people. When they are all eating tell them its rat meat, then shoot yourself in the head. A nice gentle mental fucking with a side of trauma. They have to live with eating rat and watching you paint the ceiling.
02 May 2024	captian shatner	I sure feel bad for all those guys who blew themselves up thinking they were getting 72 virgins. Only place you will find 72 virgins is a star trek convention. "Going .. where... No man... Has gone... Before!
02 May 2024	societal cast away	Eating a deep fried horse dick and/or dicks.
30 Apr 2024		This is a public service announcement. Theres a drug on the streets. It has many names. Precisely its embalming fluid they cut with PCP and dip a cigarette in it let it dry and smoke it. It has a chemical smell and will make the cigarette cherry flame up. Now embalming fluid will cause once alive tissues to slow down decomposition, but in living tissue it disolves tissue, all tissue. Muscles, lungs, brain cells, etc. It effects every part of you... And does not get you high at all. What you want is to get just the PCP. Angel dust. This shit gets you higher than giraffe cooch. Like whole other galaxies and demensions. Roll some of that crystaline dust in a fat joint and you are going to be tripping out. PCP is what they give to large animals to do surgery on them. They might have it at your local veterinarian that messes with horses and stuff. They wont sell it to you. You have to steal it.
30 Apr 2024	albert fish	Today i was at my local hardware store and there was a man having a bad day, obviously. And he just had to be right next to and half way in front of the exact bucket of screws i needed for a project. I tried to be respectful and say excuse me sir, and this A-hole gets louder and disrespectful. I looked him right in his eyes and let him finish his rant. I just reached down and grabbed the leg of the shelves and pulled up and out and screws spilled everywhere. I quickly began shouting, why did you do that? Over and over. When he tried to tell the truth and say i did it, i just got louder saying you could have killed both of us. He got banned from the store. I followed him in the parkinglot. When he parked again i poured a gallon of bleach in his fuel tank. Later on his drive home his car wasn't running right and he pulled over. I made the block and came back. He was outside the car so i pull up. I got my members mark jacket on for crowbar concealment in the sleeve, gravity drop and its out. I hit him in the back of the knees. When he drops i concentrate on crushing up all knee bone structure. I break both hands and all fingers bad. I remove one ear and his tongue with pliers and a knife. I leave him on the side of the road. The moral of the story is be nice to everyone or they might stalk you like prey and you might not be ready for next level hunter shit where necklaces are made from ears. And i even made it back home before the ice cream melted. And yes, vanilla bean with chocolate syrup.
29 Apr 2024	cute cat meme empo®ium. /╲/╭(•‿•)╮/╱	Prepare yourself for another hard truth that many will find unpleasant. A large portion of people in the world despise drug use. In every nation there is a stigma to varying degree. And how many of these billions are making excuses to justify them being on "social media" knowing full well they shouldn't be, just so they can get their dopamine fix from someone liking their comment or cute cat memes. Which only half are actually good cat memes. And oh my i just rubbed my eye with jalapeno juice on my finger and its still better than your cat memes. Let me rub my other eye now. Oh yes, thats much better.
29 Apr 2024	cute cat meme empo®ium. /╲/╭(•‿•)╮/╱	Prepare yourself for another hard truth that many will find unpleasant. A large portion of people in the world despise drug use. In every nation there is a stigma to varying degree. And how many of these billions are making excuses to justify them being on "social media" knowing full well they shouldn't be, just so they can get their dopamine fix from someone liking their comment or cute cat memes. Which only half are actually good cat memes. And oh my i just rubbed my eye with jalapeno juice on my finger and its still better than your cat memes. Let me rub my other eye now. Oh yes, thats much better.
28 Apr 2024	McFly.	I recently read a book that explains in great detail the proper way to take a shit. I thought they had to be full of crap but i tryed it and i can honestly say most people have been been going about this whole excretion of bodily waste thing completely wrong their entire life. This knowledge is lifechanging. Once enlightened you will never try to go back to the old way of pooping, which by the way may cause constipation by leaving small amounts of fecal residue in the creases and folds of your rectum. Over time it hardens like concrete causing more residual buildup. Eventually causing a blockage. This could be big problems in little booty hole town. When was the last time you got out your turkey baster and went to funky town? You could have blockage so big right now... And no one is going to help you. Sure you could squirt muratic acid up in there and let it dissolve your crap boulders but thats not going to stop your mom from trying to get me to spend the night so i can pound her raw. What can you do about that? I will tell you. You can set up cameras and do a hidden webcam show and split the money with me. Dont act upset your moms a hoe.

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