What is the best way to commit suicide when you're under 13?

Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?

17 Nov 2000 Rich I don't know, I made it past there and so therefore can't help you. You really need the advice of someone who's already done it, but that probably wouldn't work 'cos they're dead.

Someone suggested hiring someone to do it. They said it was too expensive, duh! Pay them after the jobs done, dummy!

Anyway, seeing as your question is altogether a bit dumb one wonders whether you might be better placed debating whether you have the intellectual capacity to consider the question from all angles. I think the answer to this is probably no.

I wouldn't suggest it as a reasonable course of action anyway, your web skills are pretty damned good, so get a decent job and telework from Mauritius, then you might be happy.

17 Nov 2000 cacogen Before you die, you must ensure a proper reception.

A favorite pet will do. One that has passed on; recently, if possible.

Tell it to wait for you. The journey onward will be easier with company.

As for the manner of death, might I suggest an ill-advised lunge after an accidentally dropped bottle of sleeping pills at a tall building's edge?

17 Nov 2000 j random stranger take out your heart
you cannot live without your heart
put it on the web

17 Nov 2000 bruce Ask your adult family to: Spoil you; Hug you; Love you to death.
Ask your younger family members to: Tease you, Annoy you, or Tickle you to death.
After all, we've all heard those expressions used, so they must have worked sometime !

18 Oct 2000 michael You have to stay alive until you're 30..40 years old, then to recognize that it is already too late to kill yourself because you missed the right time. So you stay alive until age/cancer/a car accident/ (whatever) does the job of doing this liveless life away.
More "beautiful": to recognize that you've hurt someone you have never had the wish to hurt and let your soul cry until it is dead. The empty cover may stay longer. --- Hey, is THIS what a kid should worry about?

09 Oct 2000 Andrew Hill Kill Mouchette's cat and don't tell her why you did it.

25 Sep 2000 Çhriß To go to the pixelated cat and DO NOT KILL IT. IT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL YOU. Even though you didn't kill yourself, you let something else kill you. It's kinda like suicide?

18 Aug 2000 Scary_person take a box. think of all the things that you are afraid of. put that in the box. think of the times you wanted to take your favourite steak knife and pierce your father's temple because he refuses to let you see an R rated movie with one of your best friends. put that in the box. think of the times you thought about hurting a family member or loved one. put that in the box. then, think of times when your best friend betrayed you and you wanted to hurt them badly. put that in the box. think of times when you are alone and crying because your father abused you and left marks and you couldn't tell anyone or else the pain would never stop. put that in the box. think of when you are mad at God and how he betrayed you and the world. put that in the box. think of every time you saw a person cry. put that in the box. think of when you were young and carefree and had no problems, but you are thirteen and have more problems than you would never wish on any thirteen year old. put that in the box. think of everyone that has lied to you. put that in the box. think of when you were left home because you were thirteen and your brother or sister is older and they only hang out with older friends. put that in the box. think of all the times you wanted to die. put that in the box. now, seal the box. when you are ready to kill yourself, open it.

13 Jul 2000 squid Can't you kill Britney instead?

03 Jul 2000 sander to look at my father in his fucking ugly face

03 Jul 2000 Suicides-R-us Suicides-R-us kit from Mouchette:

Never have suicides been such a blast With thousands of combinations of killing yourself "suicides-R-us" is a revolution in playkits! The kit includes; plastic razors and knifes, guns, spirits and liquire, ropes, chemicals and different kinds of drugs such as: heroine, MDMA, LSD, PCP, DMT, DXM, cocain and many more famous narcotics! There are also manuals included to guide you to the perfect murder - on yourself! Impress your parents with a spectacular suicide, buy suicides-R-us - NOW!

Available in a store near you, for only $9.99. (May contain small parts unsuitable for children under 4yrs of age)

26 Jun 2000 m77 I have a different idea. How not to kill yourself:
1.be yourself
2.be good to self and others
3.stay innnocent and young at heart
4.have something that gives you strength with you. my own favorite is: "come and sit down beside me, i said to myself,
and although it doesn't make sense, I held my own hand, as a small sign of trust and together I sat on the fence"

Hope this doesn't sound too corny. I know people hate corny. People also hate to try and live.

26 Jun 2000 Thanius The best way would be that you'd look in the mirror and find out how small breasts you actually have. And then you also discover how ugly you are. Then all the zits, the crooked eyes, the pointing ears, and greasy hair and the large nose. A few moments later you will be found, lying on the floor twisted in agony.

17 Jun 2000 Dean A large fish. Dropped on the head. From forty feet up.

14 Jun 2000 Zachary Kissing the girl that you love passionately until your heart gives out from all the excitement...

30 May 2000 liquid get a time machine
go back
kill your mother

21 May 2000 giork I think the best way is just thinking, too much while watching your face in a mirror and taking your father's trankimazin retard 2mg, just as candies or sweets. You will die slowly and crazy hyperlogical, and the mirror will mark your last scenographie, and you last vision of the world, a little girl thinking too much and taking anxiolitics.

17 May 2000 Carol Start wearing nothing but white. This works especially if you're a girl. Demand that you are a virgin who needs to be thrown into a volcano.

09 May 2000 Aaron cross my path

06 Apr 2000 Paradigm Shift This method works best if you want a prolonged, dramatic death (aka "The Sixth Sense Death"): Hide a bottle of cleaner under your bed. Come down with a slight cold, and ask for a coke in bed. Add cleaner, enough to make you sick, but not enough to kill you. You will fall ill. Ask for food in bed, either claim to be or actually be too sick to make your own. Keep adding cleaner to your food, until you want to end it. Call your parents/friends into your room, say you don't feel good, and pretend to sleep. When they leave, drink the rest of the cleaner.

This method is shorter, but no less dramatic (aka "the Sketchbook Death"): sit down on a public bench near a busy street with a notepad or sketchbook, and begin to draw or write, either poetry or dark charcoal drawings. After about an hour, jerk your head up, cry, either real or pretend, throw off your clothes and jump into traffic.

This one is my favorite (aka "The New Age Death"): For an hour, light incense in your room. Being alone is NECESSARY. Clear your mind. All your pain, all your life is just a memory, and even that's fading. All that's left is the ache for the next world. For an hour, concentrate on that ache. Either it will consume you, or reach for an old dagger that lay beside you, and thrust it into your heart.

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Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
17 Nov 2000	Rich	I don't know, I made it past there and so therefore can't help you. You really need the advice of someone who's already done it, but that probably wouldn't work 'cos they're dead. Someone suggested hiring someone to do it. They said it was too expensive, duh! Pay them after the jobs done, dummy! Anyway, seeing as your question is altogether a bit dumb one wonders whether you might be better placed debating whether you have the intellectual capacity to consider the question from all angles. I think the answer to this is probably no. I wouldn't suggest it as a reasonable course of action anyway, your web skills are pretty damned good, so get a decent job and telework from Mauritius, then you might be happy.
17 Nov 2000	cacogen	Before you die, you must ensure a proper reception. A favorite pet will do. One that has passed on; recently, if possible. Tell it to wait for you. The journey onward will be easier with company. As for the manner of death, might I suggest an ill-advised lunge after an accidentally dropped bottle of sleeping pills at a tall building's edge?
17 Nov 2000	j random stranger	take out your heart you cannot live without your heart put it on the web
17 Nov 2000	bruce	Ask your adult family to: Spoil you; Hug you; Love you to death. Ask your younger family members to: Tease you, Annoy you, or Tickle you to death. After all, we've all heard those expressions used, so they must have worked sometime !
18 Oct 2000	michael	You have to stay alive until you're 30..40 years old, then to recognize that it is already too late to kill yourself because you missed the right time. So you stay alive until age/cancer/a car accident/ (whatever) does the job of doing this liveless life away. More "beautiful": to recognize that you've hurt someone you have never had the wish to hurt and let your soul cry until it is dead. The empty cover may stay longer. --- Hey, is THIS what a kid should worry about?
09 Oct 2000	Andrew Hill	Kill Mouchette's cat and don't tell her why you did it.
25 Sep 2000	Çhriß	To go to the pixelated cat and DO NOT KILL IT. IT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL YOU. Even though you didn't kill yourself, you let something else kill you. It's kinda like suicide?
18 Aug 2000	Scary_person	take a box. think of all the things that you are afraid of. put that in the box. think of the times you wanted to take your favourite steak knife and pierce your father's temple because he refuses to let you see an R rated movie with one of your best friends. put that in the box. think of the times you thought about hurting a family member or loved one. put that in the box. then, think of times when your best friend betrayed you and you wanted to hurt them badly. put that in the box. think of times when you are alone and crying because your father abused you and left marks and you couldn't tell anyone or else the pain would never stop. put that in the box. think of when you are mad at God and how he betrayed you and the world. put that in the box. think of every time you saw a person cry. put that in the box. think of when you were young and carefree and had no problems, but you are thirteen and have more problems than you would never wish on any thirteen year old. put that in the box. think of everyone that has lied to you. put that in the box. think of when you were left home because you were thirteen and your brother or sister is older and they only hang out with older friends. put that in the box. think of all the times you wanted to die. put that in the box. now, seal the box. when you are ready to kill yourself, open it.
13 Jul 2000	squid	Can't you kill Britney instead?
03 Jul 2000	sander	to look at my father in his fucking ugly face
03 Jul 2000	Suicides-R-us	Suicides-R-us kit from Mouchette: Never have suicides been such a blast With thousands of combinations of killing yourself "suicides-R-us" is a revolution in playkits! The kit includes; plastic razors and knifes, guns, spirits and liquire, ropes, chemicals and different kinds of drugs such as: heroine, MDMA, LSD, PCP, DMT, DXM, cocain and many more famous narcotics! There are also manuals included to guide you to the perfect murder - on yourself! Impress your parents with a spectacular suicide, buy suicides-R-us - NOW! Available in a store near you, for only $9.99. (May contain small parts unsuitable for children under 4yrs of age)
26 Jun 2000	m77	I have a different idea. How not to kill yourself: 1.be yourself 2.be good to self and others 3.stay innnocent and young at heart 4.have something that gives you strength with you. my own favorite is: "come and sit down beside me, i said to myself, and although it doesn't make sense, I held my own hand, as a small sign of trust and together I sat on the fence" Hope this doesn't sound too corny. I know people hate corny. People also hate to try and live.
26 Jun 2000	Thanius	The best way would be that you'd look in the mirror and find out how small breasts you actually have. And then you also discover how ugly you are. Then all the zits, the crooked eyes, the pointing ears, and greasy hair and the large nose. A few moments later you will be found, lying on the floor twisted in agony.
17 Jun 2000	Dean	A large fish. Dropped on the head. From forty feet up.
14 Jun 2000	Zachary	Kissing the girl that you love passionately until your heart gives out from all the excitement...
30 May 2000	liquid	get a time machine go back kill your mother
21 May 2000	giork	I think the best way is just thinking, too much while watching your face in a mirror and taking your father's trankimazin retard 2mg, just as candies or sweets. You will die slowly and crazy hyperlogical, and the mirror will mark your last scenographie, and you last vision of the world, a little girl thinking too much and taking anxiolitics.
17 May 2000	Carol	Start wearing nothing but white. This works especially if you're a girl. Demand that you are a virgin who needs to be thrown into a volcano.
09 May 2000	Aaron	cross my path
06 Apr 2000	Paradigm Shift	This method works best if you want a prolonged, dramatic death (aka "The Sixth Sense Death"): Hide a bottle of cleaner under your bed. Come down with a slight cold, and ask for a coke in bed. Add cleaner, enough to make you sick, but not enough to kill you. You will fall ill. Ask for food in bed, either claim to be or actually be too sick to make your own. Keep adding cleaner to your food, until you want to end it. Call your parents/friends into your room, say you don't feel good, and pretend to sleep. When they leave, drink the rest of the cleaner. This method is shorter, but no less dramatic (aka "the Sketchbook Death"): sit down on a public bench near a busy street with a notepad or sketchbook, and begin to draw or write, either poetry or dark charcoal drawings. After about an hour, jerk your head up, cry, either real or pretend, throw off your clothes and jump into traffic. This one is my favorite (aka "The New Age Death"): For an hour, light incense in your room. Being alone is NECESSARY. Clear your mind. All your pain, all your life is just a memory, and even that's fading. All that's left is the ache for the next world. For an hour, concentrate on that ache. Either it will consume you, or reach for an old dagger that lay beside you, and thrust it into your heart.