Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
18 Nov 2003	drowning in a sea of mediocrity	Ha. Lucy! Oh, you sound so silly. Go play with dolly now, schweedie. Ha. Chris: You are not, boring, bog standard Chris. You sound safe as fuck to me. Haha. And remember, kids, it does get better. But you don't need me to tell you that.
17 Nov 2003	Steve	I love your posts, Chris. They're unique in that you take some time to introduce your topic so that you can relate to the reader. Each one is like reading a magazine article, except you and I both know you never get a decent lesson in morality out of a magazine article. Keep up the good work. It's unfortunate that I won't be able to read them anymore when/if I finally go through with killing myself.
12 Nov 2003	mauvaissouhait	Chris, i am sorry to say that i never recieved your e-mail.. Try again will you please? subject it Chris2donielle. maybe that would help. i need to comfort of your words at this very moment. im just at the point where im ready to try one last time to end all the pain and suffering. Chris.. an e-mail, being able to talk to u more might help. just maybe...
11 Nov 2003	Leanne2Chris	I think about you too. But things are getting hard. I've spent my days taking tablets (not attempts). Punishing myself for being unprepared. Unprepared at the fact I can't take it lying in bed wondering what the fuck is happening to Mauvais. When I thought she went, it was just like the time I thought Just A Girl went (and thank christ she's still here). It's also just like the time when Gay Punk and Will among others decided to disappear off the face of the earth.. I mean... WHERE ARE THEY?! I figured 'Leanne, HELLO!- It's a fucking suicide site. Whether I like it or not, these things are going to happen. People will come and some will go.' I can't take it. I cherish the fact you Chris are still here, and you Mauvais, but it also breaks my heart you guys and others want to fade away, in the same way I want to fade away... I almost did... if only I increased the dosage. I'm losing the will, the energy and the love to live. I put pressure on Just A Girl when I told her how much I loved her entries. I'm not prepared to do that again to others. It puts pressure on me in turn. I'm in a desperate search to restore my faith in myself. I wasn't strong before, but I'm even weaker now. I'm trying Chris, but as you all know, it's hard all on your lonesome.
04 Nov 2003	MauvaisSouhait	Chris, you'd be happy to know that what all those pills ended up doing to me is make me so sick i ended up throwing almost all of them up. Unfortunately i didn't die like i wished. But in those moments while i layed in my bed and prayed for the pills to take me quickly i thought of you and your caring towards me. After i'd thrown up a few times and there was nothing left in my stomach i fainted on the floor and im not sure for how long i was actually "out" but the moment i woke up i thought of you again chris and i was slightly glad to be alive because i want to be able to talk to you sometime. one on one. before i try again to kill myself. And about your dream. i would never make u leave, i would welcome u w/ open arms into my house and hope that you'd stay forever. I would never turn you away. I'd hope to be able to help you with w/e your problems were from now until our end. It is a shame tho that we didnt talk before i tried to kill myself just last week but maybe sometime soon before my next attempt. I love you chris and i'm glad for now that i didnt die. yet. -Donielle
30 Oct 2003	Leanne	Chris, I was deeply offended. Offended by the fact I rejected you and ran away. When in this life, you're the only one I'd run towards. I had this good dream once, this wonderful dream. It's short and sweet. I was back in the playground of my primary school. And whilst I'm there I notice that it's not the first time my dreams have took place here. Anyway, I'm in this corner where me&my imaginary friends always loved to hang out. I'm sitting down, my head in my hands and I hear people coming towards me (a rare thing, i must say). I look up and see people from my Highschool, together as ususal, smiling, laughing joking. I get up, dust the grit off my school uniform dress and I say in my quiet voice "Hey, you want a sweet?" "Sure." They reply in a unison. I grab the little box of sweets, flick the lid and offer them as much as they want. "No, we changed our minds, we don't want your sweets, you can keep em'." I look down and in my small 8yr old hand, I'm grasping a box of tic tacs. Only there were no tic tacs in there, but panadol tablets (paracetomol). "What's wrong with my sweets? Bunch of spoiled shitheads!" I yell to their backs. "Oh well, more for me!" Unfortunatly, this is where I wake up. Back to this place, to my cluttered and dark room, back to my sanctuary. Short and very sweet. Chris, we knew that was'nt you, a few days ago. 1) You dont have an email address and 2)... It just wasn't you! It wasn't the Chris we all know and love. Love, a still-very-offended Leanne xx
26 Oct 2003	Gary	Hello Leanne, Chris, all of you, I feel like I wandered into the right wrong room, imagine you all here like chicks in the nest, mouths wide singing distress, eyes shut. Pretty scary I can tell you. There are no answers are there, at least it means something to not feel quite such a freak. I've had some dark times and never feel so bad when I realise it's more common than I thought. I've never thought that it's true that the devil has the best tunes, it's the ones suffering from depression who have the best tunes. Happiness, mostly, begets nothing, depression takes you to the depths and pops you back up like a cork. My only solace is making art about the journey and from what I've read here alot of you are doing the same. It's a real pleasure to hear people so eloquent in their distress, and no, I'm not trying to be facetious. Good luck to you all and how come I don't meet people like you in real life?
25 Oct 2003	Leanne2Chris	Chris, I'll quite happily sit next to you on the bus. You'd be the one I'd want to dance with in a club to a romantic song and if it were possible, my shoulder will always be available just for you. But this is the really real world and IT HURTS.
24 Oct 2003	chris	jump out the window
24 Oct 2003	Christian Hidalgo	crayons
18 Oct 2003	MauvaisSouhait	Chris, your comments are interesting. I'd love to talk to you sometime if you're up for it. you should know my e-mail by now. thanks.
18 Oct 2003	Leanne2tiffany	Tiffany, thanks for sharing your past experiences and im genuinely pleased (and a teeny bit jealous!) you've overcome that desire to end your life. my dad is an alcoholic and he also mentally&physically abused my mum, me&my brothers. And maybe one day, i hope some time soon, I'll get to where you are now because sometimes when reasons to live seem too few, all i need on a rainy day are chris's words, he is an excellent writer. I reckon your brother at this very moment is very pleased to see you're at peace with yourself.
17 Oct 2003	Leanne2Chris&co.	"As I turn to you and I say Thank goodness for the good souls That make life better As I turn to you and I say If it wasn't for the good souls Life would not matter. One good day of the week And I'll be up again One good day of the week I'll be higher than the government..."
29 Sep 2003	Steve	You're right, Chris. I received a letter from my former high school that I graduated from last year asking me to stop by and pick up my year book in a couple of weeks because they're having a sort of brief get-together for all of last year's students while we pick up our yearbooks. I was pretty much set on not going, and after reading your message, I know that I definitely won't go, because nothing good can come of it. I figure the last thing I need is additional emotional trauma when I'm already suicidal.
24 Sep 2003	Leanne2Will	You know, the main thing I hate about England is how hard it is to get hold of a gun... not actually ''get hold'' of it, but to purchase one. WILL, my lil pea in a pod, you've been away from this world for quite a while but your still surviving and you came back, do you take pride in that? For me it's a shame I'm still here.. it saddens me but it saddens me to give in. But to give in is to be free. The way I look at this whole thing, is I imagine Depression and Suicide is actually in the form of a human being and I'm constantly at battle with em'. If I let em' win, I lose, but does that mean that losing is defeat if I give in and take my life? Or if I keep fighting and still continue my exisitence being miserable, I'm losing and I'm still being defeated? I guess I'm screwed either way even if I do give in to the pain. This place is not like it used to be. I mean, it still has its attraction but where have the main contenders gone? i.e Just a Girl, Miss Lucy (I don't think I need to type her second name), Felicia, Naomi, Molly? These names will go down in history, I'm gonna make sure of it. C'mon ladies, we need you. For those of you who've been here since the dawn of time will know who I'm talking about. It's wonderful to see we have the other games' contenders here though,i.e Gay punk, WILL, Chris, oh and others who I can't recall right at this moment due to sleep deprivation. Mouchette, bring these girls back, even you must have noticed the 'zest' has left from here since their departures... we're all missin' them. That's all I ask of, today.' 'Until next time, take of yourselves, and each other!'' Cheerio peeps.
18 Sep 2003	Steve	Chris, sorry, but your reply is of no use. Everyone's seen that stupid "If the population of the world were 100" study and it has no bearing on the way anyone thinks. Saying "Fuck like there's no tomorrow" doesn't make anyone feel good either, let alone motivate them to actually get out and do it. Really, if someone has the urge to commit suicide, the last person who's going to stop them is some good samaritan who's just telling them to be more care-free and let things go. This is one of the weirdest sites I've ever seen by the way. There's someone named Lucy (who most of you seem to be acquainted with for some odd reason) who talks about having big breasts, and then within the same post breaks down and says their name is really Phil and their identity has been a hoax. Then they say they're about to kill themself after visiting this site for x months. Well, given the fact that they seemed to have no problem creating and roleplaying a flamboyant identity for so long, I'd wonder if they're even telling the truth about their intended actions. Best of wishes to them anyhow. I'm writing this and I have the topic line: "What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?" staring me in the face and yet I haven't been writing messages in response to that question, nor have most other people. This ultimately just adds to the weirdness of the site, because the conception that people below 13 really even consider about suicide is ridiculous in itself, and no one seems interested in discussing such a strange topic. Perhaps I'm wrong, but this just seems more like a suicide discussion area. However, that description doesn't even fit sometimes, because there are all sorts of people jumping in with weird, irrelevant stories that look as if they were pasted straight out of a novel or something and have little or nothing to do with suicide. Where am I going with this? Well, I'm curious to find out what some people here are thinking when they come in to post messages. Did they just wake up one morning and think "Hey, you know what, I'm going to look for a suicide page on the internet and paste some sort of fable onto their boards. That certainly won't bore or confuse any of the readers!" or perhaps "I'm going to find a suicide page on the internet and roleplay a woman with large breasts and talk about all my hilarious mishaps. That'll be right on topic." I'd just like to know, because I came here after doing a google search to look into suicide methods to see what methods might be bearable if I were to make the final decision to actually go through with it.
11 Sep 2003	Thom Yorke	"Truth is not what you perceive with your senses, but what you feel in your heart." "But there is such a thing as objective truth!" i cried. "Or don't you attach importance to that?" He smiled tolerantly. "Not in the way you do, for its own sake. That is statistical truth. We are interested in that, yes, but only as a means of getting to the real truth underneath. For us there is very little visible truth in the world these days." "Their Heads Are Green And Their Hands Are Blue. Scenes From The Non-Christian World." ~Paul Bowles
31 Aug 2003	Lucy Cortina	I can't get away from it! I'm on a special lesbian-detox, and what happens? I see Madonna snogging Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera on my mini portable battery operated TV last night. It's all so disturbing to me. I reported Felicia last week and she got sent to a special home because she attempted to commit suicide after I told her I didn't love her. I might go in and see visit her now. I might take her a few copies of Housewives Without The Husband, to cheer her up. And maybe a copy of the latest newspaper. There's a lovely picture of Christina Aguilera turning up at the VMA awards, dressed as a pink feather duster. That should cheer her up.
12 Jul 2003	Phil	Good morning Charlie! Or good morning Moucchie, rather!! Ok time to get this serious, this aint charlies angels. I dont have an amazing ass like Cameron Diaz. I am not an amazing and beautiful singer like britney spears. oh hang on... shes not an amazing singer, thats right. She came from a mickey mouse show and now christina aguilera is fisting her and riding on motorbikes.. even I can do better. no i cant. well, i wanna organise a suicide group pact. I want to get the biggest group together ever to do a suicide. like in the Simpsons with David Blaine and they all died in front of the white house. this may not be as glamourous.. but we can all die in front of Britney Spears' hotel room... and give her a shock. It wont be long before she gets drunk on a park bench after poor record sales, and tops herself.
27 Jun 2003	MAC CHRISTOPHER	What do I search for to answer the questions? My hope is that any reasons other than terminal illness that involves extreme pain can be overcome with care and thoughtful dialogue. I've been dealing with extreme depression for almost 30 years and constant pain for over 20 - but I can still find valid and hope-filled reasons to stay alive another day.

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