What is the best way to commit suicide when you're under 13?

Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

Nom/email
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?

18 Mar 2002 cyrielle vexenat avaler son nounours et s'etouffer

18 Mar 2002 GaëtaN, Jenny, Thomas se suicider avec un yaourt périmé ou encore se jeter sous une tondeuse à gazon

10 Mar 2002 ben Choke on some Play-doh

08 Mar 2002 Masterpiece first, tattoo the words 'Let Me Rot Where I Die, This Is All I Ask' Fill a large garbage can with superglue and climb on the roof of a large, and popular museum full of rich snobby christians. Locate the glass top (there is always one, accept it) coat yourself with the superglue and jump through the glass. You will fall and stick to the ground, probably horrifying a ton of people... and will stay there, perfectly preserved for all to see. (be sure to land on something expensive, ex. hope diamond, mona lisa, etc) You will freak out a bunch of people in the process, plus have a really neat exibit made out of your superglue-statue, and probably dubbed an amazing artist. Too bad you won't get to have all that money they make off of you. you will become quite an exhibit...

03 Mar 2002 Sob Hang yourself with a yo yo. Play cowboys and indians with real guns. And take a death leap off the monkey bars.

01 Mar 2002 greg eat lots and lots of candy till your teeth rot out then, refuse to eat anything but potatoes (mashed) and drink only coca-cola.

26 Feb 2002 latatia a nutella overdose looking at britney's tour and dreaming about prince William

25 Feb 2002 Yashiro The best way to kill yourself when you're under 13 is to eat something delicious and toxic. Why don't you try to put a poisoned chocolate chip cookie on your suicide kit?

22 Feb 2002 Misskathyx Pour les moins de 13 ans, je conseille le bain chaud car les enfants aiment bien prendre des bains chauds, puis de cette manière ce n'est pas très douloureux et puis c'est amusant de se baigner dans de l'eau colorée en rouge... il suffit de te faire couler un bon bain très chaud, puis tu prends une lame de rasoir à ton papa, tu t'ouvres les veines des deux bras... attention ! tu ne te coupes pas dans les sens de la largeur, c'est pas pour des vrais suicides, de cette manière ça foire une fois sur deux, tu ouvres ton bras dans le sens de la longueur, comme ça tu saignes beaucoup plus... deux trois ouverture de 10 cm de long sur chaque bras et tu plonge ceux-ci dans l'eau chaude, avec la chaleur les veines vont se dilater, les blessures aussi et le sang sortira beaucoup plus vite de tes veines, et tu te sentiras partir lentement, en douceur... en plus, l'avantage du bain, c'est que si l'on te retrouve avant que tu aies perdu trop de sang, il y a des chances que tu te soit quand même évanouie avant et donc noyée... voilà, bonne chance... bisette petite...

20 Feb 2002 R. Rodabaugh Suvorov Ask your mother for a postpartum abortion.

18 Feb 2002 Bick Make a giant sling shot out of your dad's bras (yes you heard me correctly) and fire yourself out the window onto the pavement. If it doesn't work the first time, you'll be forced to try it again because it's so damn fun.

12 Feb 2002 emy falling down from your kitchen window with a multicolor open umbrella in your hand.

09 Feb 2002 SSSnake By pretending ur that religious guy... and walk over water - it can't be done. oops! you are drowning!

05 Feb 2002 Mike The best way to kill (and most fun way to ghost) yourself when you're under 13 would be to go skydiving while sitting on a big trampoline (no parachute)... this way u get the largest amount of free fall time possible and then once you and the trampoline hit the ground you will be bounced a couple stories into the air then splat!
Assuming you don't pass out from the speed, the trampoline doesn't just collapse when it hits the ground and you can stay w/ the trampoline all the way down... you'll have a kick ass time!
have fun w/ this one kid

29 Jan 2002 Sanjay All of you guys are sooooo unoriginal! This is how you kill urself... in style!
1) Stuff urself into a Cremation oven and turn it on. Make sure you bring a Microwave oven dinner with u, try and eat the food before you melt, see how far u get. Gotta love the irony.
2) Go sky-diving and 'Pretend' ur parachute isn't opening, smash to the ground in a huge splatter. This way if u sabotage ur parachute right, u can get compensation for ur family to help with funeral expenses.
3) What about good old hanging??? Well here's my advice... Get a metal wire and tie a NORMAL knot around ur neck, (Make sure both ends of the wire are reallly long), tie the metal rope on the left side to a fence and the right side of the rope to your mates car. Tell your mate to show you how fast he can do 0-60KPH in. Ur unsuspecting friend will do so, and Slice! U should be decapitated quite quickly.
My dad chose number 3, although he went for the simple old hanging, while overdosed with drugs. I was only 16. Ahhh well, im 18 now and 2yrs wiser. I'll be orite.

26 Jan 2002 Hercules Um, lets see..... pretend you are Xena:Warrior Princess. Having attempted to do those back flips onto a roof top you will either a) break your back, b) land on your back, in which case c) you will lie there until a handsome young buck comes to kiss u better (and possibly enter you, but that's another story). So as this doesn't happen to the mighty Xena, you lie there until your lesbian mate Gabby rescues you, gives your back a scrub, and kisses u better.

Oh come on.... wake up, its a dream!

26 Jan 2002 ingrid z overdose on flinstones chewables and playdo, maybe sniff a couple hundred magic markers after to numb the pain.

25 Jan 2002 Lady Venom The best way to kill yourself when u r under 13 (the perfect age cause u r still small!) would be to crawl into a furnace.
or for an extra gruesome death, eat a can of beans directly before wedging yourself into the furnace.

23 Jan 2002 thanku 4 sextoys! Hey make it fun! Go to Area 51 (or whatever its called) and search for the little green men they keep there. With luck u will get shot to ribbons before u get anywhere near. If not, this is ur opportunity! If u make it to the place where they keep the aliens in buckets of vinegar then that's cool! You have a few choices here - Jump into the buckets of vinegar with the aliens (when they find ur corpse they will be none the wiser) and choke on vinegar or whatever. Second choice: Head off to that 'other' secret room where they keep the 'alien spaceship'. On entering, you will be shocked out of ur pants. You will discover the REAL purpose of Area 51. You will see that the reason they have been keeping it so secret is...... wait for it......
Cos thay are making secret new 'state of the art' SEX TOYS! Stuff like shaggable dolls, chocolate covered condoms (hey, don't they already make them?), spandex whips laced with cum etc. So having got this far you can be the first person to test these secret sex toys. You will soon realise that they need a bit of work, after they rip off your privates and you die from the terrible pain.
Have a nice day!

21 Jan 2002 MANNIBAL Eat your wife

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Read the archives

Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
18 Mar 2002	cyrielle vexenat	avaler son nounours et s'etouffer
18 Mar 2002	GaëtaN, Jenny, Thomas	se suicider avec un yaourt périmé ou encore se jeter sous une tondeuse à gazon
10 Mar 2002	ben	Choke on some Play-doh
08 Mar 2002	Masterpiece	first, tattoo the words 'Let Me Rot Where I Die, This Is All I Ask' Fill a large garbage can with superglue and climb on the roof of a large, and popular museum full of rich snobby christians. Locate the glass top (there is always one, accept it) coat yourself with the superglue and jump through the glass. You will fall and stick to the ground, probably horrifying a ton of people... and will stay there, perfectly preserved for all to see. (be sure to land on something expensive, ex. hope diamond, mona lisa, etc) You will freak out a bunch of people in the process, plus have a really neat exibit made out of your superglue-statue, and probably dubbed an amazing artist. Too bad you won't get to have all that money they make off of you. you will become quite an exhibit...
03 Mar 2002	Sob	Hang yourself with a yo yo. Play cowboys and indians with real guns. And take a death leap off the monkey bars.
01 Mar 2002	greg	eat lots and lots of candy till your teeth rot out then, refuse to eat anything but potatoes (mashed) and drink only coca-cola.
26 Feb 2002	latatia	a nutella overdose looking at britney's tour and dreaming about prince William
25 Feb 2002	Yashiro	The best way to kill yourself when you're under 13 is to eat something delicious and toxic. Why don't you try to put a poisoned chocolate chip cookie on your suicide kit?
22 Feb 2002	Misskathyx	Pour les moins de 13 ans, je conseille le bain chaud car les enfants aiment bien prendre des bains chauds, puis de cette manière ce n'est pas très douloureux et puis c'est amusant de se baigner dans de l'eau colorée en rouge... il suffit de te faire couler un bon bain très chaud, puis tu prends une lame de rasoir à ton papa, tu t'ouvres les veines des deux bras... attention ! tu ne te coupes pas dans les sens de la largeur, c'est pas pour des vrais suicides, de cette manière ça foire une fois sur deux, tu ouvres ton bras dans le sens de la longueur, comme ça tu saignes beaucoup plus... deux trois ouverture de 10 cm de long sur chaque bras et tu plonge ceux-ci dans l'eau chaude, avec la chaleur les veines vont se dilater, les blessures aussi et le sang sortira beaucoup plus vite de tes veines, et tu te sentiras partir lentement, en douceur... en plus, l'avantage du bain, c'est que si l'on te retrouve avant que tu aies perdu trop de sang, il y a des chances que tu te soit quand même évanouie avant et donc noyée... voilà, bonne chance... bisette petite...
20 Feb 2002	R. Rodabaugh Suvorov	Ask your mother for a postpartum abortion.
18 Feb 2002	Bick	Make a giant sling shot out of your dad's bras (yes you heard me correctly) and fire yourself out the window onto the pavement. If it doesn't work the first time, you'll be forced to try it again because it's so damn fun.
12 Feb 2002	emy	falling down from your kitchen window with a multicolor open umbrella in your hand.
09 Feb 2002	SSSnake	By pretending ur that religious guy... and walk over water - it can't be done. oops! you are drowning!
05 Feb 2002	Mike	The best way to kill (and most fun way to ghost) yourself when you're under 13 would be to go skydiving while sitting on a big trampoline (no parachute)... this way u get the largest amount of free fall time possible and then once you and the trampoline hit the ground you will be bounced a couple stories into the air then splat! Assuming you don't pass out from the speed, the trampoline doesn't just collapse when it hits the ground and you can stay w/ the trampoline all the way down... you'll have a kick ass time! have fun w/ this one kid
29 Jan 2002	Sanjay	All of you guys are sooooo unoriginal! This is how you kill urself... in style! 1) Stuff urself into a Cremation oven and turn it on. Make sure you bring a Microwave oven dinner with u, try and eat the food before you melt, see how far u get. Gotta love the irony. 2) Go sky-diving and 'Pretend' ur parachute isn't opening, smash to the ground in a huge splatter. This way if u sabotage ur parachute right, u can get compensation for ur family to help with funeral expenses. 3) What about good old hanging??? Well here's my advice... Get a metal wire and tie a NORMAL knot around ur neck, (Make sure both ends of the wire are reallly long), tie the metal rope on the left side to a fence and the right side of the rope to your mates car. Tell your mate to show you how fast he can do 0-60KPH in. Ur unsuspecting friend will do so, and Slice! U should be decapitated quite quickly. My dad chose number 3, although he went for the simple old hanging, while overdosed with drugs. I was only 16. Ahhh well, im 18 now and 2yrs wiser. I'll be orite.
26 Jan 2002	Hercules	Um, lets see..... pretend you are Xena:Warrior Princess. Having attempted to do those back flips onto a roof top you will either a) break your back, b) land on your back, in which case c) you will lie there until a handsome young buck comes to kiss u better (and possibly enter you, but that's another story). So as this doesn't happen to the mighty Xena, you lie there until your lesbian mate Gabby rescues you, gives your back a scrub, and kisses u better. Oh come on.... wake up, its a dream!
26 Jan 2002	ingrid z	overdose on flinstones chewables and playdo, maybe sniff a couple hundred magic markers after to numb the pain.
25 Jan 2002	Lady Venom	The best way to kill yourself when u r under 13 (the perfect age cause u r still small!) would be to crawl into a furnace. or for an extra gruesome death, eat a can of beans directly before wedging yourself into the furnace.
23 Jan 2002	thanku 4 sextoys!	Hey make it fun! Go to Area 51 (or whatever its called) and search for the little green men they keep there. With luck u will get shot to ribbons before u get anywhere near. If not, this is ur opportunity! If u make it to the place where they keep the aliens in buckets of vinegar then that's cool! You have a few choices here - Jump into the buckets of vinegar with the aliens (when they find ur corpse they will be none the wiser) and choke on vinegar or whatever. Second choice: Head off to that 'other' secret room where they keep the 'alien spaceship'. On entering, you will be shocked out of ur pants. You will discover the REAL purpose of Area 51. You will see that the reason they have been keeping it so secret is...... wait for it...... Cos thay are making secret new 'state of the art' SEX TOYS! Stuff like shaggable dolls, chocolate covered condoms (hey, don't they already make them?), spandex whips laced with cum etc. So having got this far you can be the first person to test these secret sex toys. You will soon realise that they need a bit of work, after they rip off your privates and you die from the terrible pain. Have a nice day!
21 Jan 2002	MANNIBAL	Eat your wife