Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
19 Apr 2002	oh,.,,	today is my birthday, im 19 now,., i love this question and these answers,.,,, like small words get filled up when all these people explore them,.,,, i dont know why i look at this site all the time,.,, i cant say i like anyone's answer in particular,., i dont want to be alive a lot but i cant say i relate to what anyone here has had to say,.,,. i look around on the internet a lot when im sad because there's so much to see and plus i feel pretty alone and i try to find at least one other person that could think like me,.,, it hasn't worked yet but i think the internet is the wrong place to look,.,, anyway,., i just felt like celebrating my birthday here instead of anywhere else,.,, becoming part of all this other unfulfilled muck that can only find its strength and meaning from people's constant amendments to the way this website looks,.,., i feel like i should answer the question simply because it's there,,.,, but im very good at making music and i constantly look forward to a day when im famous and i can set up a video camera and cut my wrists pretty bad but not enough to kill my tendons and tape me playing piano and see how long i can stay conscious,.,, i think that right now that is the most beautiful thing i can give to this world,.,, i would play my prettiest song and anyone could watch me dying spitting out the best my mind can do at trying to react to life,.,,,., i spend hours and hours a day making up songs on a piano and a lot of the time im thinking of how perfect it would all be if my wrists were pushing out my blood and i knew i had to do the best i could because those would be the last notes i would play,.,, and then to have it on tape to show other people like me so they can cry like life really is this bad,.,
09 Apr 2002	Karlynn	hi i'm 14 and i attempted suicide around 10 times, once i slit my wrist damit it hurts that's not the best way, the other time i took a tylenol because the docter said that i have a 50/50 chance of dying. All that happened was i got vilently ill. other times were pretty much the same.
26 Mar 2002	Richard Manfre	Whatever you do don't try using bleach. It only eats away at the inner lining of your esophagus and if it even gets down your throat into your stomach it only eats away at the lining of that too. Bleach is not something that is able to be kept down by your body. I'm not sure why. But it just doesn't. I've tried it before. I drank almost a full cup of it. All that happened was I vomited it up and ruined my mother's carpet and my clothes. I tried this when I was 17. I am now 19. I'm thinking of trying something else again though....
20 Mar 2002	It Really Doesn't Matter...	My confession: I'm 23. I have lived my whole life doing right - never did drugs, slept around, helped my single mom out by taking a job and always working to help her and my younger siblings. My point is I discovered it really does not matter in the end what kind of sacrifices you made. Life does not reward you for being decent or a good kid, student or person. No one will come up to you and tell you that you did a good job resisting peer pressure. I have discovered in my 23 years that the bad guys or the people who live it up turn out just as fine as the ones who struggled for the basic. My point: it really doesn't matter. Sluts wear white on their wedding day, adulters funk around all week then go to church on Sunday, and it's the good guy that will get fucked in life. Why bother to live in a world where you did everything right by everyone's standards, only to discover that it really doesn't matter... if God was so concerned about good and evil God would do something about it. I for one have decided to end this bullshit life for myself.
19 Mar 2002	Riley	I used to love myself and my life. I've always been someone who other people could talk to. I was good at listening. Then one day a friend of mine came to me for help. He was thinking about killing himself and wanted someone to be there for him for a change. I listened for a long time until he was finished talking. Then I talked. I told him about all the reasons he had to live. I told him that there was people who actually cared about him and that it was all in his head. After that we would talk a little everyday. He was slowly getting better. A while after that I started actually thinking about what I was telling him. I slowly began to realize what I load of shit it was. I began to relate to everything he was telling me, then I started realizing that there really wasn't much there for me and what there was, was just too painful. I realized that before I was living a complete lie. I am ugly. I am stupid. I have no future. Why should I keep living in the pain of knowing that everyday? I dont want to go back to living that lie. The only reason I'm stil here is cuz i want to keep my friend from killing himself. I know that sounds odd but I do care about him much more than I do myself. I want to be free of this. All of it. The pain, the want, the guilt of knowing I will never be good enough. I want out. After all, a little bit of pain is worth complete freedom, isn't it?
18 Mar 2002	Ben	my biggest problem is that my brain constantly works. i wish you could stop your brain from working, at least in certain areas. im addicted to pills an alcohol, oh yea that helps i guess. but i find myself thinking more in depth on how my life sucks, how my hate is growing and my love is rapidly leaving me. i dont want to die without pain. i want to die slowly and painfully so i can cry again. man im not even sure when is the last time i truly cried. crying use to feel so good, but i guess that's when i truly felt anything. well i dont go around saying go ahead kill yourself, but if you feel like its the only way, its up to you. i dont want to better myself any longer i no longer wish to wake up everyday. i just want it to stop for me. ive never been selfish in my life... and if this is selfish then its been 21 years of unselfishness, its about time i had my due.
16 Mar 2002	Cant take downs butthole	When I was 8, I tried 2 jump off 9 stories building with my younger sister only 6. In the end, we went back to bed instead. Right, you're thinkin "Hello?! 8!!?? What problems is there supposed 2 be?!" Being eight years old wasn't an easy task for me. I'm 13 now, and I'm still lookin 4 the way n courage 2 die. Life has ups and downs, well, just take it that I'm that butthole who can't take the downs. Struggling my whole life to meet my parents expectations are crap. They just can't accept that I'm 1 of those students who's lazy, always wants fun, super money spender and just waste my life away. People just don't seem 2 understand what I think and that pretty much suck. I have 2 asshole parents who think they're doing all the good sorts for me but...
04 Mar 2002	Already Dead	Well it's a done deal. I am officially going to end my life tomorrow, March 4th(my birthday). What's the meaning of life anyway? Pain and suffering+ being a slave of money until you die. To all you peeps who think it will get better as you age, it won't. Now if you are depressed and wanna kill yourself, I suggest www.1000deaths.com, it helped me get through some bad times but it's just not helping anymore.. I gotta go, cya on the otherside..
27 Feb 2002	Tami	I remember when i was 9. My parents got divorced and dad moved out. Dad and i were best friends. We did everything together. It wasn't long after that, that i started to feel very unhappy. I have felt unhappy since then. I have come to terms with dad leaving, but now he has left for good. He died July25, 01. Dad was the person i always talked to about anything. Even if "my way" was wrong, he never told me i couldn't do anything. The rest of my family just never listen and to top that my mom is a bitch. Anyway, when i was nine, i thought if i jumped in front of a car, that would do it. Well, i'm 30 now and that car still drives by every day. Funny how it became to look like a gun. I still think about killing myself everyday. Honestly, i don't think it will ever go away. I've been admitted to several hospitals and all they do is give you an anti-depressant and tell you to call them in a week. There is no magic pill to make these thoughts go away. I talk to my pychologist once a week, but it seems to me that we never solve anything. I'm starting to wonder if there is anything to solve. Something stupid keeps me alive everyday. Even if it's just a tv show. Some of you may be laughing, and i understand, but to me you must realize that this is not a joke. Now that my dad is gone forever, it will only be a matter of time.
25 Feb 2002	Julie	I had a friend that i was close to, we did everything together. we were like sisters. we changed together, we went through the prep, fucked up and that is were we stayed. we often cut our wrist, od on tionl, and did all the fucking drugs we could get our hands on (for being only 12 & 13). I stopped because i had been sent away for a wile. when i came back she was almost dead. she had cut-up most of her body from head to toe, i had to convince her she was doing something wrong. Now WE are going thrugh the freak stage but when people look at us they see all of our scars on our arms, legs, and during the summer on our stomachs. we lived through it and now we are happy that we are still alive.
23 Feb 2002	LaDonna	To anybody of any age that thinks of suicide: I went through many years of actually planning it and almost carrying through. I have gotten past that but it the thoughts of suicide, death, and dying cross my mind often. I suffer from depression and anxiety. These thoughts still happen though take medication. I have times of joy and inbetween as well. I am labelled a bipolar or manic depressive to some. I believe we can't ever get rid of the bad completely. I am learning to live with the flow. Music is a great help as well as are other people. Feel free to write to me if you want to exchange thoughts. You will get no preaching from me about whether or not to do anything. Everyone must make their own choices in life. I choose to keep living. To me, it is the best choice. I care about me. It did take a long time for me to care when no one else did. Peace.
14 Feb 2002	Meika	In response to my own sugestion: What I meant is that it does'nt give a person the right to kill themselves. It is just an understanding of why people do. I've been there....and I'm still alive to prove that we all have suicide thoughts at one time or another. We are not alone in this thought. Every one starting at the age of 9 to when we die will have these thoughts. As a child we may have had some rough dealings and believe that by killing ourselve is a way to spite those who did us wrong. When I was 10 I threatened to jump off the bridge, all because I was confused and did not understand the situation at hand. My suicide thoughts did not end there. I was later diagnosed with clinical depression and it was traced back to the age of 3. The only thing I have'nt tried is to hang myself or to shoot myself. I have OD'ed many times. I also have had an abusive relationship of which my partner mentally, physically and sexually abused me. I now because of this am a much stronger person. I now see what the situations are and personally believe that for myself....time heals. I have studied, got a degree in fine arts. I am a professional artist. I manage a web magazine based in fashion and soon another based in art. I will also be dealing art and fashion as time goes on. Life is not what it seems when you see the greater picture.
07 Feb 2002	jo hill	i posted a couple of days ago, looking for pill information. it's 4 am now and i've been having a very very bad night. i got online to check this site and my mail to see if there were any helpful suggestions about pharmaceutical suicide for me. instead i found the following email from a friend who lives in europe. i haven't heard from him in 2 years. i apologize to him for reprinting this, and advise you that english is not his native tongue, which is what makes his writing style so charming. "Dear Jo. first of all: happy birthday! It has been quite a long time that you have been blessing this world with your presence, and this deserves celebration. Reading newspapers I often arrive to the conclusion (and I think you share this point of view) that this, should be the most horrible planet of the Universe, or better said, since the Earth is a beautiful place, after all, the planet inhabited by the most horrible and destructive of the species. In this moments of crisis it is always good to think a bit, and then you arrive to the conclusion that this world is horrible, but we always have Josephina Hill. It may seem little, if you think it like that, but it makes all the difference. You are this little bit of salt that transforms a dish not even acceptable for dogs into a dish of a three stars michelin restaurant; you are the litle candle that changes the darkness of the horrible dungeon into the romantic cavern, or the peace of the chaple. You are the litle water that makes grown flowers in the dryest dessert. Although you will understand better what I mean if I tell you, that for me, and for many in this crazy world, you are the little whisky that makes coca-cola interesting. In another words, I thank God to have created you (a work so fine and so excellent, that only can be the work of someone not only almighty, but also good to the infinite), that He put you in my way, and that I have had the chance of meeting you, of sharing some whiskys, some interesting discussions, some good moments in some good places, and a whole lot of great letters. It is just the last one, the pretty Christmas card that you send me (what a difference with myself) that made me remember how nice you are. A real friend. However, once again, I see that you've been suffering for the international situation, for the twin towers atack, for the reaction of your country, the war, the Middle East situation, the new budget, etc. Well, let me tell you, that, for once, I probably share your point of view on all the subjects. I must add my shame for the humiliating response of the European Union to the situation. So far so bad. What worries me most, however is YOUR suffering. It is true, we are in the middle of a mess, the world is colapsing, nothing is going well. It is difficult to be happy in such conditions, but Jo-see, it is not your fault. You were born in the USA but you are not the president. Your country has done wonderful things as well. If you can do something to change the situation, well. If you can read, think, try to understand it, wonderful. But don't feel think it around, don't feel sad. Look for the good things of your life. You have your family, your friends, and you can even see Oscar Peterson LIFE!!!! (I feel jealous). I have always asked for your prayers. I'm sure that they have help me a lot during this decade that we have been friends. And I feel thankful to you for them (of course prayers mix well with whisky. One thing does not contradict the other, and I'm also thankful for the whiskies we have taken toghether). But since we have been most of the time separated by 8.000 miles, it is good to ask a Common Friend to look after one another. So I'm going to pray for you now. It is my turn. I'm going to pray the Lord, that you have in you the same peace that the world needs; that He keeps you the big heart that makes you involved in other people problems, but at the same time, that He protects it against anxiety or grief. Of course I pray the Lord that he find a nice guy to you, and not like the two stupid blind fellows that were incapable of realizing the kind of girlfriend that they had just found. If some day they found a diamond in the street they will probably kick it. Well, Jo-see, just tell you that I will pray for you. I'm sorry this is not one of the good old letters of the past. A computer is not like the good old pen, and it is quite late at the night of a long working day. But I'm determined to write something more digne of your eyes for the next letter. I just wanted to reply anyhow to your postcard with the promise of a normal letter with news from myself and my life in the capital of Europe. But before, please, let me hear from you. Sep" wow. that letter sure stopped me in my tracks. fate, chance, serendipity, God? that i should receive this tonight? (to be cliche), in the moment of my darkest hour? it's potently obvious that i can't kill myself tonight. probably not for a little while yet.
02 Feb 2002	Andrew n Redding	I think the best way to kill yourself would be to run your parents' car in the garage and have a hose from the tailpipe to the window and make a small crack so the bad air can get it but not a lot can get out- put your foot on the gas so more will come out-then you fall asleep and you never wake up then all the mother-fuckers that did bad shit to you will feel like shit thinking that they could have saved you-i play on doing this cause everyday i wake up feeling like shit and i feel even worse every single day and mainly cause i dont know the cause of this. i have all the friends in the world i get everything i want and i can do anything i want- my parents let me do all kinds of drugs and tell me that i shouldn't but they don't give a fuck anywayz all my friends think i should get help and that it's gunna get better- well FUCK THEM those cock sucker jew-bitches dont kno shit they dont kno what i have to feel every day of my life and they dont kno all the shit i have to do though in my life everyday so fuck the world cause life ISN'T worth living and i think if you really are depressed and feel this shit pain everyday then you should kill yourself like i plan on to tonight-everyone one wish me good look and i hope to maybe see some of you where were all going I'M SORRY TO MY MOM AND MY DAD, IT DIDN'T HAVE TO COME TO THIS BUT I HATE YOU, YOU'RE ONLY A BUNCH OF COCK SUCKERS-FUCK YOU AND AT MY FUNERAL I WANT YOU TO PLAY "LAST RESORT" BY PAPA ROACH
30 Jan 2002	STVE	OKAY LISTEN UP YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. *NONE* OF YOU HAVE HAD IT WORSE THAN I HAVE.. SO FUCK YOU ALL. HAS ANYBODY -- I'M TALKING ANYBODY IN HERE EVER HAVE A NUT RASH??? I DON'T THINK U HAVE. I DOUBT U EVEN KNOW WHAT ONE IS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU WHAT A "NUT RASH" IS. IT'S A RASH ON YOUR FUCKIN NUTS. THAT'S RIGHT A SCROTUM RASH AND IT'S PAINFUL. I GOT ONE AFTER I LET SOME BITCH GIVE ME HEAD AND A 1 HOUR HANDJOB... SHORTLY AFTER (LIKE A DAY OR TWO) I REALIZED THAT MY DICK WAS TURNING RED AND IT BROKE OUT IN A RASH. SINCE THEN, IN THE PAST FEW MONTHS I HAVE SEEN OVER 7 DIFFERENT DERMATOLOGISTS, BEEN PUT ON A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS INCLUDING ANTIFUNGALS AND STEROIDS. AND FINALLY -- FINALLY AFTER FUCKING 2 MONTHS OF SUFFERING THE RASH IS ALMOST COMPLETELY GONE. BUT DAMN. IT TOOK A FUCKIN WHILE. AND EVERY DAY -- EVERY DAY I'M TELLING YOU WAS A LIVING HELL FOR ME. I COULDN'T SIT RIGHT, COULDN'T SLEEP RIGHT, COULDN'T GO OUT AND TALK TO PEOPLE CUZ THE THING WOULD ITCH SO BAD I'D HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE PRIVATE TO FUCKIN ITCH IT. I VISITED THE BATHROOM EVERY 5 MINUTES MY FRIENDS ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG BUT IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING TO TELL THEM U HAVE A FUNGAL RASH ON YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN PENIS, ISN'T IT ? SO QUIT WHINING ABOUT YOUR STUPID ASS PROBLEMS -- TO THOSE WHO ARE SICK AND IN PHYSICAL PAIN I CAN FINALLY RELATE TO YOU AND I GIVE U MY SYMPATHY CUZ THERE IS NO HELL LIKE THAT. FUCK IT HURT TO WALK TO MY MOTHERFUCKIN CLASSES FOR SO LONG AT THE COLLEGE I'M AT JUST CUZ OF THIS RASH. THANK GOD IT'S GONE BUT IT'LL DAMNNN 2 OR 3 MONTHS OF MY LIFE WASTED AND ALL THAT FUCKIN MONEY. ON TOP OF THAT I WAS ALOONE FOR CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS' I EVEN RAN INTO MY EX-GIRLFRIEND AT A KOREAN RESTAURANT IN ANNANDALE ON THE NIGHT OF CHRISTMAS !!!! I'M SITLL VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH HER BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT CUZ I'M TOO SCARED TO APPROACH HER AGAIN SO WE JUST STARED AT EACH OTHER LIKE FUCKIN MORONS ACROSS THE RESTAURANT. PLUS I DON'T WANT HER TO SEE ME LIKE THAT -- FUNGAL RASH AND ALL -- AT THE TIME. NOW IT SEEMS LIKE LIFE WOULD BE BETTER CUZ THE RASH IS GONE RIGHT? MAYBE I COULD GO HOME AND CALL HER UP AND VISIT HER ? WRONG. CUZ NOW THAT MY PENAL SKIN IS BACK TO NORMAL MY FUCKIN FACE ISN'T. I HAVE TWO HUGE ZITS ONE IN THE MIDDLE OF MY FUCKING FOREHEAD I WONDER WHEN THE FUCK IT'S GONNA GO AWAY. ANOTHER ONE I POPPED ON MY LEFT CHEEK AND ITS LEFT A RED MARK THAT'S BEEN THERE 5 DAYS ALREADY. AS LONG AS THOSE ARE HERE I AIN'T IN THE MOOD TO CALL ANY EX, OR ANY GIRL FOR THAT MATTER UP. I GO TO CLASS WEARING A VISOR CUZ I DON'T WANT PEOPLE SEEING MY FACE WHICH, WITHOUT THE PIMPLES, WOULD ACTAULLY BE NOT BAD LOOKING. ANYWAYS WELCOME TO MY HELL. AND FUCK YOU MORONS.
24 Jan 2002	The BiPolar Lady	Talk 2 me. Im bi polar so i kno wat its like 2 hurt. And no i wont cum out with sum kinda 'god luvs ya' bullshit cus it aint tru. I been thru more shit than ne fucker i kno. I got paranoia problems and god knos wat els. Life sux but sum ppl deserve a chance. Sure, it feels degrading 2 kno that a brain disease is takin ova u but if i can cope ne fucker can. I have dark moments and i have a lot of them but iv learnt 2 shut up and rely on myself. Yeah, lifes hard, its very hard and it often dusnt get betta, but u can stop ureself from gettin in the shit ppl like me hav got ourselves in2. If uve got sum1 2 talk 2 in those dark moments @ 2 am on a friday nite wen ure stoned or drunk and cant c 4 the tears and u just dont have the energy 2 scrape ureself off the floor then ure lucky. But if u havent then talk 2 me. I dont discriminate and iv been thru more shit than ud think. I wont lecture u ill listen. And i wont spin sum bull about life bein precious cos the world dont work that way. Even if u dont wanna talk about ure probs feel free 2 chat bout drugs or sex or wateva. Take care xxx (TheLadyKnos)
22 Jan 2002	chris	ok i have thought about it again!!! and i said that gas is the best way b/c it would just kill u in under one minute, trust me i used it on my dog and it's killed in damn near instanly. but since i was sitting here thinkin about it i came up with a better solution: what u do is get some gun powder, i mean get a lot of it. and what u do with it is put it in ur mouth and make sure that u have ur mouth completely full. and what u do next is get a match and put it in your mouth. and before u know it ur head is off of the rest of ur body. this is what i think would work better than swallowing a cupful of gas. and ppl say that slitting ur wrist doesn't work. i have never tried it but most ppl are pussies when it comes to slitting ur wrist. if u are going to do it make sure that u use a big kitchen knife and it would be better if it had a schraded edge. don't press down softly either. make sure that u press down with all of u might and make sure that u are excluded from ppl. be somewhere in the country or some shit. and i have one last way that i am going to tell u about. well i sat here and thought about this one for a while. but u have to find someone that is willing to take the death penalty!!!!! but u put ur head on a cinder block and the u have ur comrad that is there with u get a sledge hammer and in just one blow to the upper part of the skull ur are dead instantly. so find someone that wants to die so they will be willing to go to prison or have them have a gun and as soon as they have hit u. they take their own life. well, ppl while i was writing this i thought about which way i'm going to go. i'm fixing to end this letter to y'all. but as soon as i get off the computer i'm going to get a knife and just slit the fuck out of both of my wrists and then im going to light up a ciggy and remember all of the good times in life like smoking that kill. so ppl i hope that i have helped u in anyway that i can. but plz don't send any responses b/c i won't be here to answer them. so peace to all of my suicidalholics. and i'm going to be dead in the next 10 mins. hell i may even light up a ciggy and a joint, no fuck a joint i want a sweet (blunt) well im outa here. and mom and dad if u read this i just want u to know that i love u . bye bye dead 17 yr old
22 Jan 2002	chris	hey ppl i am not 13 i am 17. and today i got arrested by the cops b/c of my parents. and now i'm thinkin about doin it. and i hope that they really know that i love them so much. but i am just sick and fuckin tired of living. they don't know how i fell right now. i am most likely going to be put on probation and i'm not goin to cut for that shit. i was on it for 15 mths and i hated it . it's all their fault b/c they didn't have to call the cops. i swear i think about this all day everyday. and i don't know which is the best way to do it but i think that i'm going to get a cup full of gas and just drink until i'm not here anymore. god i just love y'all so much, mom and dad and even jason. and at my funeral i want want y'all to play my favorite song. and that would be high so high by south park mexican. and i want y'all to know that i love y'all very much and it all didn't have to come about this way, but it is the best thing to make me and y'all both happy
16 Jan 2002	Someone	It does take courage 2 die and I confess till now, I haven't got that courage. I'm only 14! People tell me I've got a way long life in front of me but who cares when you have to face the world everyday you're facing now?! I've done many things, broke many laws, never got caught and my parents just have no idea. It's hard to die when you have a big career dream in front of you and even if you know it might not come true, you're waiting for it. I have 2 dreams in a row about me going to die and I wake up n go: 'Oh thank god it's only a dream' then I began wondering if I really wanna die. But when you get real fucked by some stuff, you don't give a crap. I dunno... Life is messed up for me.
15 Jan 2002	black raven kempy	ok i am not under thirteen i am thirteen, i have been cutting for about three years. but everyone says it gets better blah blah blah.. it doesn't... believe me... it doesn't, your bullshitting yourself if you think it will because it won't. i also hate to pop all you shitheads bubbles but god isn't real and you are once again bullshitting yourself if you think he is. but as i was saying before, i do cut, i am not supposed to anymore because i made a promise to someone that i shouldn't have made. but i have tried to kill myself. and everyone always says "it hurts to much to slit your wrists" NO PAIN NO GAIN!! DEAL WITH IT!! it's supposed to hurt, DUH! But if you are really determined to kill yourself, think about it, you don't want to get hurt? you're a wimp! you gotta feel pain to make it better. duh

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