Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
08 Dec 2005	nikki	hey everybody my name is nikki im 10 and crie myself to sleep sometimes because i miss my friend he killed himself with a rope now every time i see a knife i cut myself to get the pain out!i have so many scars
07 Dec 2005	murf	my son did it cut his wrists my head is done in can u tell me what he had going on in his head he was 27 i miss him so much
02 Dec 2005	Marie	I have been surfing the net since before I was ten years old, and this is the most interesting site I have ever ever. I am not sick/overwhelming sad now (however conteplated jumping off my roof when I was young and was probably depressed then but never received treatment) but was searching the net to find advice for my employee who I think is depressed. Coming across all of these entries really makes me feel upset however, upset that anyone is feeling the way that some of the people who are writing into this website feel. As I said, I can't relate fully, and do not feel it is my position to judge whether this website is appropriate or not, but I would like to offer some advice. While this is a forum, and is basically being used for rhetorical discussion, it might be beneficial for there to be some links to excellent websites that offer avenues for getting help. Maybe not everyone is ready, but the option should at least be offered. And to all of the people who are contemplating, I have been directly in contact with various people who have probably felt similar emotions as yourselves, my sister used to self-mutilate for a few years and tried to commit suicide a couple of times, my best friend tried pills a few times, and there have been other friends along my travels. My point is, thankfully, none of them succeeded, and they are in much happier places now. You deserve the best, you deserve to be happy, and the most important thing to remember is, you can get there. Somebody around you, whether you know them or not, cares and will be there to help you. Just reach out and give it a try. You never know what life has to offer unless you just try.
24 Nov 2005	SH	Hey, I am going to lay this out straight for everybody... Life is tough, bottom line, that is all there is to it, nothing we can do is going to change that. I look at myself, I look at the life I have had for the past 26 years... Abused at home, at school, everywhere I went. I studied martial arts to fight back. I joined the Army (Green Beret) right after high school. As I am sure anyone can imagine, I have seen the absolute worst that mankind can do. I have seen half the world, and blown up a quarter of it myself. If I can come out of all the problems you are going through now, plus the trauma of being a covert combet vet... Not to mention having dealt with clinical depression my entire life (with no meds, mind you), then things can be overcome. You have to want to do it, find a reason and live for it
22 Nov 2005	dont_u_care?	well, i dunno. thats my answer to life in general lol. is life really precious? is it so special? i hear and see that all the time. soooo y doesnt it feel like it? y dont i feel so precious or special? i see life as a burden. seriously. ive been depressed for around 6 years now, since i was 11. ive never really tried to commit suicide, but im on the edge these days. i used to self harm for 2 years. then my friends found out and sent me to counselling. i stopped coz i couldnt be arsed with ppl annoyin me. since then ive just kept everythin inside. its all inside and no one notices or cares. its so fucked up i actually laugh about it. its got to the point where i truly dont care. all i can do is laugh. laugh at how stupid ppl seem to be. how they cant see the pain im in. life is shit. very crap. anyhoo here's some of the things in my life that get me down, daily: im ugly! ppl disagree but only to be polite i think i dropped outta skool wen i was 14. i have a bf and we argue alllllll the time coz i lose my temper easy and get violent. i have a job. i have my own house my lil sis stays with me and im sick of her. shes 16. old enough to get a job and her own place. but shes too lazy! and she tlks about me behind my back, tho im the one providing for her. my family DONT luv me. my mums moving away with her bf. my dads an asshole. my brothers...i hate them and they hate me. i hate my job. ppl think im stuck up coz im quiet. im quiet coz i think about my shitty life, the fools. i have no one to tlk to. ive been alone for so long i dont even kno how to open up to any1. my bf tries to help me but it wont happen. im too fuckd up. i kno that all of the above is very mixed and jumbled up lol but the main point being: i have a hard life. too many problems to think about. no one who truly cares. no one to talk to. and i think that this might just be the one case where suicide is the right choice oc action. fair enough i'll get up tomoro and put on a face to every1, laughing away, chit chatting and mucking about. but on the inside, like every other day, im crying and screaming on the inside for sum1 to notice or care. but i feel that's gonna change soon. the crying and screaming and all the pain will stop. and ppl will have 1 less idiot to pretend to like.
21 Nov 2005	Simeon	well i dont know exactly what its called. but i was savagely abused as a child and then in my teenage years i saw lots of murders with guns and knives. plus i lived on the streets and ate out of dumpsters as a teen too. i guess you could say i have been screwed in every situation in my life. even in school. the principals screwed me out of an education by bending the rules to benifit them and kick me out. you know in my heart i have released all my hatered and bitterness. but still i like to see another human go thru the shit and it brings me pleasure. i have no value for human life or human suffering. and dont know why i do what i do. it is what was taught to me growing up. thats what the world and "adults" exampled to me. psycologists say this is symptoms of a psycopath or a sosiopath(spelling) i wont ever tell a shrink my heads inner workings because i will more than likely be hospitalized. and even if you dont want to be my friend thats ok. i dont really like you anyway. but if you like i will be nice to you. just dont call me bad names.
20 Nov 2005	Your neighborhood wussie	I.C.P!-..........."It a'int no point to me waking up,everbodies time i'm taking up.i got nobody,a'int a shoulder near,i can't stay here and it's colder there.i don't wana look back cuz it's gonna hurt,slice my wrist's and it's gonna squirt.For me everybody holds a hate,i get backstabbed and everybody holds the stake.A'int no roads to take,i'm in a circle drive,bustin' at myself tryan' survive.i'll dissapoint you and i will let you down and i a'int got many homeboy's coming around.You don't understand so don't say you do,i swear i'll put a muthafvcking slug in you.i'm the only one,the lonely one at home loading a gun thinking why not???i got court comin' up,i stole a truck,i got a bitch pregnant and i'm broke as fvck.i wana get high but i got piss test, i'm always first name on top of the shit list.GET THIS,the witch has made my chest it's permanent nightly visiting nest!It a'int no clothes i look good in,i'm the muthafvcking big red train that couldn't.i got no family,i stole they shit,restraining orders and i still won't quit.i hit rock bottom and then i fell in a hole,then i fell through the floor of that hole some more.i been missing for a year nobody's lookin',i got beat down and my shit tookin'.i look ahead and all i see is more of the same or this self inflicted bullet hole pouring my brain.(You and me, together, friends)i dream about cuttin' heads off with a shovel,the dreams are gettin' serious,think i'm in trouble.i don't hold memory for more'n hour, i'm tired as fvck n i'm drained of power.i a'int halfway there n i'm all outta time, like a crushed lightbulb all outta shine.i been around the world'n no place is home,i wana see the otherside when i face this chrome.i'm buttnaked jackn' off gettin' drunk, it's my last hours alive who gives a fvck.It don't matter,i'm doin' the shit in tha garage tryan make it easier for 'em to clean my head splaage.This bitch i loved, i hope she finds me still up in the chair with my thoughts behind me.i'm 'bout to do it....." ne ways, imo a nice strong tree and thick rope or a building over 10 stories outta do it, g.l..
18 Nov 2005	geraldine	I'm currently 20 years old and a second year university student. I've attempted suicide once so far, and have come to several realizations. it was stupid of me... i told a friend of mine what i was feeling, what i thought i was going to do. i think in some way, i wanted to be saved. i wanted to know that it mattered - but that wasnt all. i have friends. i have a loving family. there are people in my life that care, but... really its not about that. in the end the decision is yours, because it is your life. if given the choice, i would not have let my friend take me to the hospital, but i knew she left me with no options, and i did not want this riding on her coinscience. people can force you to live or get therapy, but its not right. my problem is my own mind, and it has been for almost a decade now. its something i dont want to remedy because i dont see a point. all of you out there that judge us for being selfish, for being too self-absorbed to see the reality of the situation are hypocrites. to live each day like this... hollow, dead... if you have felt like this before, you will no it is no easy task. when you people are forcing us to stay here, to think of our families or friends you fail to understand our predicament. we cannot continue to live our lives for others, that isnt what life is about - so far that has been my biggest problem. we have to live for ourselves. ive made this decision for myself. in some way, shape or form i will prevail. this time, i succeeded in only putting myself in the hospital for 5 days. perhaps if i had waited a few days more the organ failure would have taken over... but i was ignorant, and a fool. i wont make that mistake again. good luck to all of you i hope you all figure out what it is you really want.
15 Nov 2005	zia	Look kid you don't want to kill yourself ok. My best friend did it when he was 13 and you should see his family at the moment. His Mum was all he had and now she's alone. I think about him everyday and wish i could of helped. I blame myself sometimes for moving away and leaving him alone, i sometimes feel like commited suicide just to be with him again but i know how my family will feel. If you have younger sisters or brothers don't do it because you care about them; maybe if you do it in 10 years time they will attemp it to. But if you really want to do it slit your jugular (throat, neck) or hang yourself but ask yourself 1st if you can bare putting your family at risk or bare the thought of them regreting not realising how sad you are for the rest of their lives.
12 Nov 2005	BIGTIGGER"LOK"LA"	I think ur Lost And Confused Ur Very Selfish and careless u only think of ur self on Monday it was my homiez B~day @ the age of 19 my lil Gangsterd Shot him self in the head and got rushed to the hospital after suffering there in the hospital for about 4 dayZ my Homie passed away ...he left behinf a POEM BY 2 Pac " tO My UnBorn Child But he changed the words ...the drugs and some bitchass homiez turned on him and so he took one in the head what out even thinking about it or about hes family or us... some of us moved on and some of us are frozen in time and shocked What ever he did he did it to him self i whish there was some one i can get back at or take it out on wan i herd about it i grabed my gun and ran out the door i was thinking it was the enemyS and the war on the streets but wan i found out he did it to him self i was shocked and sad i cry ed for dayz thats the only time i cry ed My Homie lost hes young life were all going to grow up have fun than get marred than have kids and the homie ant going to "before u do anything " '"think" of every one alse than also know that every ones going to move on and live there life but ur not , and also if ur mad at some one or some one did u wrong say Fuck them !!! y u going to take ur life out 4 them if u got to, take them out... R.I.P. 2 Da Homie Smile Ur Life Was Cut OF Short Dawg ... WE LOVed U But God LoVed U More... Write BAck if u want to talk i do anything to Save A LIfe If u Need i well Give u my Cell # okay HoLLEr BaCk ....WWW.truehomiez.50megs.com
09 Nov 2005	refound Soul	when i was 10 i was 10, i got very depressed and didn't know why, for long time i didn't know i was deprssed. I used to ask my parents morbid questions all of the time, what would they do if i die, and i'd tell them that it was ok for me to die, that sometimes dieing is some times a good thing, which i realise, now, must have scaird the shit out of them. I wanted to die so badley, but how could i do that to them? I tri and tell them stuff, when they where happy so that they wouldn't get so sad. They got me help and counciling and meds, which i didn't want, coz when your depresed your in the wrong mind set. But here is my advice to you, get help, take it even if you dont want it, i am 19 now, doing things i never thought possible and having the time of my life. I am so greatful for my family and friends helping me through. I still get down occationly, but i just have to remember to hang in there and things will be ok in the end. Good luck to all of you people. Good times WILL come, even if you cant see from where.
08 Nov 2005	wes	this is not help, but more or less advice:i wanted to kill myself because i am in love with my ex. she said she loved me still also, but i messed it up. i felt worthless untill i relized that maybe life will get better, and she'll come back to me. so i live my life one day at a time in hope. i am happy enough now that i know there is so much to live for. put your problems aside and just think of the good in it.
03 Nov 2005	kni	im an international student.i have barely any freinds in my school. no one bothers to try to become freinds with me. i used to be an excellent student in my country. here cos of my depression and rejection im horrible. i have a bf here. we fight day in and day out. the only time wer not fighting is wen wer having sex. i enjoy it at the moment and then i start loathing it. my bf cares about me a lot...but has his ex gfs emails and pictures everywer..he makes fun of me cos im on the heavier side and i have cellulite..and wen i talk to him abt it he fights with me..my family expects a lot from me..cos theyre extremely educated and are all doing somethin great for themselves..and im nothin they thought i would be. they call me the black sheep of the family..they love me..but they make me feel like im nothing..i used to be the most popular girl in my school bak home..but here im nothin. i have 5 conversations a day..al of them are fights with my bf. i feel lonely and lost. i feel like nothings worth it. i know i wont commit suicide..but im soo sad..ive never felt lower in my life..i did everythin i could do make things work with my bf but we keep fighting and i keep gettin blamed..now it seems wer going to break up..and the worst part is..i have noone to turn to if we do break up..il lose the only person i have here..
02 Nov 2005	Alexandra	Ooook. To start off..I'm 13 years old and my life is totally fucked. I've attempted suicide countless times. When I was only a few months old, my parents had my grandmother take care of me for the next five years of my life because my mum went back to university and my dad was a photographer and was very busy, though he would take care of me at every chance he could. As I grew older, I grew more and more distant from my mum, cuz she was never there, and it doesnt help that my grandmother (on my dads side) who took care of me, hated my mum. Just recently I watched some old tapes of me when I was 2 or 3 around christmas time. All of my closes family was there, grandparents, aunts and uncles from my mums side and both grandparents from my dads side. My grandfather (on my dads side) died shortly after that tape was taken, and I was devistated. That is when my life just fell apart. But anyways, on that tape, I noticed that I would constantly reject my mum and everytime she would try to tell me that I'm beautiful, or try to play with my hair, or hug me I would tell her to stop it. This was at the age of 3 or 4! I think that because of that she is sortof bitter now and she favors my four year old brother, and she is never compassionate towards me. Around the age of 11 I first cut myself, I was scared, and extremely angry at my mum for threatening to kill me (we were having an argument). My mum and I argue non-stop and she can get violent. Other than that, school is okay, I'm struggling in mathematics and thats it. I have tons of friends and I am a very loved and loving person. I love my dad with all my heart and we have never once had a disagreement. He would take time off from work just to spend time with me. When I had to get surgery on my neck (from tripping on a kite and landing on a screw that was sticking out of the ground) he brought me ice cream. Even though I couldnt eat it, the fact that he did that was probably the most memorable part of my life. Even thinking of it now makes me cry. The only thing now that stops me from cutting myself is the fact that i am afraid that people will notice. Last year my best friend and I were joking around and she grabbed my wrist from under a long sleeved shirt and i had cuts there, so obviously, it hurt like hell and my wrist started bleeding through the shirt, she saw and without thinking, she pulled my sleeve up and everyone around me saw my cuts and now think im insane. My parents arent aware of this, but i think that at first, cutting wasnt just to make me feel better, but i also thought that maybe my mum would notice my wounds as another form of telling her that i need help.
01 Nov 2005	Caitlin	3 years ago, when i was a freshman, i became depressed... not clinically (or so they thought)... but i know i am. i tried to kill myself quite a few times... it wasnt severe or anything.. but i told my boyfriend... and he told my guidance counselor.. which landed me at the hospital and at therapy for 3 months, every day for 3 hours after school. i hated everything... my family... my dad made my life hell cuz he hated my boyfriend.. and favored my brother and sister... and my mom just went with him... school was just so overwhelming cuz i wasnt doing well and people we getting up on my back about it... and to be honest i just didnt care... my friends were not my friends anymore... everything just fell into one... i took pills and cut my wrists.... then after therapy i was *cured*... but everytime i was pissed/uspet/sad... i would always think of killing myself... i wouldnt always do it.. but i thought of it... then one time last year... i was so pissed off that i finally grabbed 22 advil and 12 cold med and 1/2 a bottle of smirnoff black ice... and went to sleep... bout 2 hours later i woke up... sweating i couldnt hear... and then out of no where my friend steve calls.. and i couldnt hear him.. and i told him what had happened... and he called my parents.. who were going to take me to the hospital but i threw up at my house... and they knew i wouldnt come home if they brought me there... so i stayed awake for the next few hours.... and now i cant take pills... cuz im afraid of dying for now reason... but now i wish i could.... ive thought about it so much in the past hour... i should just go for it... everyone hates me cuz i said something they took the wrong way.. and i cant deal with shit like this anymore... i just dont know.... i know you probably all are like o her problems arent bad or anything... and im not saying they are... i just cant handle things like that... im sorry....
30 Oct 2005	sharpshot	I'm 13 and in 8th Grade. I feel like crap right now and kinda suicidal. I have felt this way and even worse countless times and while I have sometimes wanted to kill myself, I never could do it. Not even try. I guess I was just kinda scared of the pain. Sometimes I just try to fall asleep and forget about everything and sometimes I just feel so bad that I just want to lock myself in my room and never come out. I usually feel like crap cause of school. I'm nothing close to a nerd but im not too popular either. It's just that sometimes kids at school can act like bitches. I guess that school is almost the only thing that stresses me out sides my parents being divorced and my dad being a money hogging pig (in nice words). What really pisses me off is when there are like really big assignments and you have very little time for them. Well anyway, back to the point. Actually, I'm not sure what the point is but essentially I finnally figured out that there is so much to look forward to in life.
29 Oct 2005	Jason	Its strange, almost predictable kind of. I have felt this way when I was 11. They tell you that life gets better, funny speach. I find the opposite to be true. It is 13 years later and I still feel the same. In fact I feel worse, because now not just being depressed, I have to deal with all the grown-up stuff too and I just do not want to. There is no fair world. I have never asked for a lot in life. I never strove to be rich or famous. All I want is a wife and children. Why is this never what I get? I almost had it once, I was almost married. But the bitch walked out on me. That was 3 years ago and I'm still not over it. There is just really no end to this pain. No matter how far away I may go sometimes the pain is always there. I am so smart, yet I can never get anything to work. The one time I found an OK job, it was stolen from my by a jealous asshole named Dino. He hates any employee lower than him that is smarter than him. He gets them fired. I now have had to pay for his jealousy, move back home with my mother where I don't want to be, in a city too far way from my friends and too far way from a good supply of jobs. I hate it. All I was told was that things would get better. Its a lie. A lie I have lived for 13 years. From the day I first wanted to die to today is 18 years. I have had this feeling dragging on my soul for almost twenty years. I know that seems like a long time for some of you people here particurly if your around 13. I can see no bright light at the end of the tunnel. And if you do it is probably just a train going toward you. I can just see myself living the next 60 years like this. I want it to end there is no point. Everything that has a beginning has an end. Peraps I ust need to make my ending come faster.
29 Oct 2005	hope	Suicide is not the answer. Life is too precious to throw away. If you are on this site seeking a way out, realize that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You don't know what you have until you lose it, I found this out the hard way. I attempted suicide at 16 and failed. I'm now 21, a senior in a military college, and have been struggling with suicide since my freshman year. Recently, my life spiraled out of control and my command intervened. Although I did not like the intervention (which involved seeing doctors and being put on medications) I truly believe that their actions saved me from going off the deep end. However, because of this, I have lost everything I came here for--my FAA medical and pilot certifications, and my ability to be an officer in the military. Currently I don't know if I am even going to be able to graduate. That is why I offer this piece of advice and hope: Seek help before you do the inevitable. Whatever pain and tragedy you feel in your life--please realize it is not the end of the world. There is something better out there if you are willing to go after it....
28 Oct 2005	three strikes.	When the thought of killing yourself comes into my mind i think what the fuck would make someone want to cause harm to themselves. is it because family life is going no where, and there friends are no where to be found? or they just dont have any? have you experienced a loved one pass on? what is it that makes one want to kill themself? well in my opinion. why the fuck would you kill yourself when you can have one last thing you can enjoy. just one last thing. make something of YOURSELF. do something you love or try something you will learn to love. cause havoc, screw up a few times. thats life for you. in my life. here are the facts. my biological mom died when i was 7. my aunt when i was 12. my uncle when i was 10. my kid neighbor whom i grew to adore and baby-sat. drunk driving is what got him. the list continues: and now. my step mom who has always been mom to me is dying of cancer. and my other uncle and poppy (grandpa) are in the hospital with diabetes. those are not my excuses to kill myself. those are my reasons to live. you could miss so much by killing yourself. you could eternally hurt those around you that you never thought gave a shit about you. in life take chances. take risks. dont make a risk or a chance to harm your life. it makes no sense. and until someone can prove to me that it does. then realize this.. your seeing the light of day. cherish that. for you once were in the darkness and now your in the light. make use of it.
28 Oct 2005	The Wonderer	Well, I dont have my problem as badly as u guys do, but i still have some to say. When I was 9 I first told my parents that I wanted to kill myself. I am now 14, and these years have been a living shit hell. To start off, I am obese, have ADD and ADHD and asthma and Obssesive Compulsive Disorder. I kinda have no friend and HAVE A MAJOR CASE OF PARANOIA. Obssesive Compulsive Disorder and my huge case of Paranoia are killing me here. But especially my paranoia. I really cant have friends for a long period of time. Usually I can hold a friendship for just a couple of months. Sometimes, if i'm lucky, a year. But thats top. A year. The thing is, because i cant hold a long term friendship, my paranoia makes me go crazy. Because I cant hold long friendships, I usually stay with my new friend for so long and stick to them and be around them so much, that it annoys them and they back off of me. I always have this paranoing thoughts that I have to be EXTREMELY nice and EXTREMELY friendly so that my new friends would like me. Also, after my hang out with the friend is over, my Obssesive Compolsive Disorder kicks in along with my paranoia. I get thoughts of, " did i do or say something that might get them to hate me or stay away from me?" these thought usually last non stop up untill the next time I see them, when i try to understand from them if they were offended or whatever from the day before. Also, I have never kissed a girl, Never even had a girlfriend, never hugged a girl from love ( have hugged as an aquentence hug), never had been invited to a party, and was many times left out from like times when my friends hang out but never invite me. I guess i am kind of sad, but i still have some hope. But very often, i lose that hope, and am then considered to be depressed. I take Zoloft, and many other medications that have hard names, but over the years i have taken possibly every medicine on the market, and they made me happy, really. But that happyness never lasted for a very long time. A while ago I got so upset, that instead of taking my prescribed 2 zoloft pills at night, I took 5. That really made me feel good, but it felt kinda wrong. But it was relly relaxing, really. I am not always full of hope, but i am at least once or twice or even alday somedays. Usually when i am busy, my mind doesnt think about suicide or depresion. But since i have no friends, i am often not busy and do tend to think about suicide. I have never cut myself, because i dont know what it does. I do want to at least once in the near future smoke pot and thats something i intend to do. At my sad or depressed moments, which happen usually twice or three times a day, I hate myself and want to die. At those moments, i am my own worst enemy. But thank god, im usually sad just a couple of times a day, and for just 10-30 minutes. Im not trying to cheer u up by what im gonna say, but im just gonna share my goals for life: I would like to really feel my turning point in life, which everyone says happens right after your teenage years and then live my life in peace. I would also like to have a girlfriend, and I would also like to finally kiss a girl. Also to have sex. Also, to marry a girl, and have kids with her. I just hate sitting around all the time being alone and upset, so this year i joinned a few clubs at my school, and am doing activities to find some friends and have some fun. I guess what im really trying to point out here is that i actually try to help myself. And deep down I know, that even though I sometimes have suicidal thoughts, I will never have it as far as actually killing myself. And even if I have a gun loaded to my head, I know i will never have the guts to take my own life. I just try to stay positive and try to do as much as i can do...

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