Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
21 Apr 2006	fresh start	i'm 23 and tried unsuccesfully to kill myself. i was the popular kid in high school, have a "great family" and everybody was envious of my car, clothes, family, house, you name it. I was also quite bright, even through university, named top leader and graduated quite early. So what was my problem??? It was all too good to be true. After one year of therapy, I've come to realize it was very selfish of me to have caused such a big pain to all those that i loved. My parents marriage has gone wreck, my friends had many difficult times, and all because i thought it was just too much to cope with. My point is that everybody suffers, wherever you want to see or not. Many thought i was just spoiled for doing what I did, how could somebody with everything want to die, right? Now i'm learning to take things one step at a time. I still struggle everymorning waking up, but everytime I do, and start observing the small wonders of the world, I'm very glad God gave me a good second chance. I'm not gonna spoil it this time.
14 Apr 2006	Devin Kydd	I am 20 years old and like a lot of people in the world, and everyone on this site I have thought of suicide. I have never tried and I never will try. This is because I know what life is. Life is a balance of good and bad. Everyone has good in their life and bad. If you focus on the bad you will only see what is wrong in your life. You can't live your life expecting others to give you a helping hand, they are also going through this delicate balance. If you want someone to talk to or to help you with your troubles you cannot just expect it, you have to ask for it. Hate is not something you use to inspire you, hope is. Hate breeds hate, if you focus on hate you will only find more to hate. Hope works the same way. If you have hope you will find more and more places to find hope and inspire you to live. I am not wanting to understand you or tell you that you have had a happy life, a vast majority of people have had a bad life, I have had a few years where I didn't want to live my life. That does not mean that I was wanting to commit suicide. Suicide is not the right answer for your problems. No matter what you are going through you get always get through it without wanting to commit. You are probably reading this thinking I am full of shit and don't know your story, and why you think it is okay for you to commit, but everyone has a sob story and if they choose something they can blame on someone else. How your lifes problems are not your own. Though it looks like a lot of you have had lives where your parents were not the most parental or loving that is not a reason to want to die. I don't know you, I am not going to say I do, but what I do know is that suicide and hate are never the best answer. You have to work through these problems just like everyone else would. Working through problems is hard, but that is life. And if you do work through these problems you will get a satisfaction that will only make you want to carry on. Life is like a game of golf, you may have a lot of bad shots but that one that is good makes you want to keep playing. Don't focus on the bad shots because as hard of a game life is it is worth playing.
12 Apr 2006		If you are under 13 and want to kill yourself you should definately make a big deal about it. Don't try and keep it to yourself and keep living with a shitty attitude. Once you hit 18 no one will want to help you since you are an adult now and just look pathetic complaining about having problems that everyone else has. Even if your parents threaten to put you in a mental institution you should make a big deal out of it, otherwise you will be like me in your twenties and still surfing sites like this every so often because you hate life but don't have health insurance and your family tells you to get lost since you are an adult now.
12 Apr 2006	Ger	Suicide is a companion I live with everyday. We all live in a world filled with suffering. I have been sexually abused by my father since my earliest years, until about junior high. He punched me in my face with a closed fist during my freshman year in high school, reconstructing its bone structure. My mother lives in denial—neglecting to protect the child. Being in an emotionally, psychologically, and physically damaging environment has its toll on the human spirit. Even today, affirmation of my experiences and what happened to me is unavailable. One may ask, "What is worse than death?" My answer being, what is worse than physical death is being kept alive while dead inside (only to watch a body violated and tortured on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis). I have attempted suicide three times; however, I have sabotaged my health passively through drugs, addictions, and sexual irresponsibility, hoping death will set me free from my memories, dysfunctions, and lack of motivation. I am twenty-three years old now (HIV negative) and still alive; wondering what is the result of my survival and how can I give the wisdom I have gained through these experiences to humanity (to move towards world peace and to fight injustice). From living on the streets to turning tricks to pay rent and food I have thrived. Life has its setbacks, but, it has joyous moments which make it worthwhile. Among the hundreds of exploiters of victims and oppressors, to find one who cares, without price, has given me hope in humankind. I have been reading a book called "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. It is about a psychiatrist who survived the concentration camps in Germany. By reading this book, I have learned how one found a reason to live even through an imposed sense of hopelessness and the threat of extinction on routine. It has taught me that one's search for meaning in life is a purpose in itself. Giving back a talent that one possesses to the world is a reason to go on. Also, that suffering has meaning. Are we worthy of our suffering? How one views their suffering and life makes a world of difference. Although, life is challenging and lonely, I have come to the frame of mind that, "If I am unwilling to live for myself...then for other people." I have been volunteering in a kitchen for a homeless shelter once a week for the past three weeks and it has given me a sense of contribution. To step out of my self-absorbed nature has given me freedom that I desire (even for a moment). My life is still daunting at times, like today, but realizing how life can be so much worse has given me a sense of humility (realizing the selfishness in my ideologies). Others live with disabilities, deformities, cancer, venereal diseases, and still carry a reason to meaning; thus, so can anyone. I desire to feel and have love in my life. From my traumas, I feel a sense of isolation and self-imposed exile from a world which will likely unknowingly understand my experiences, truly. Some of my faults are an inability to trust others, sexual neurosis, and an ingrained feeling of being unlovable. I have been through countless therapy sessions, medication changes, and lack of emotional stability and belonging. If I have made it this far, I believe almost anyone can and will make it farther. I have written these thoughts, not to tell others what to do or to think, but to expose the visitors of this website to another's frame of mind. I have read many of the comments on this webpage and I empathize with the numerous thoughts of ending this life. I will like to complete by saying, "There are no guarantees that life will become a fairy tale and all our problems and issues will dissolve; however, our possibilities for growth are endless, for we have embraced death and the depths of despair (which many others utterly fear and may be unprivileged to feel)." Are we worthy of this gift of insight?
10 Apr 2006	sammy	hi as many people say life is a gift... fuck that shit. life is a game of give and take if u want to de to make it shorter than do so. i have been clinicly provin dead 4 times. 3 attempts. cutting isnt the best way to go neither is jumping or odin. the best way is to hang youself. that is wat worked for me but they still brought me back. ill explain why i tried. my dad was a pill popper. he was allways high so i felt like i didnt have a dad but some crazy guy walkin around my house. my mom beat me since i was 3 (btw im 13 now) i lost my home, my dog my dad gave away, my other dog which i saw get runed over, i lost the love of my life to one of my best friends, then another best friend hated me, my uncle died, my boyfriend was murdered and then i had to move back to the naborhood i was raped in... ive gone through hell and back and im not afraid to do it again. im 13 years old and have died already but im still kickin and ready to fight. as i say wat id the point of life if u die ayways? where u even alive if 20 years later no one knew u existed? whats the point of doing anything for life is al u expect is to die later?dont tell people what to do and dont let others tell you wat to do. it is your life. come and go as you please but no one lives forever... oh n to all yall christain bitches if u aint trien to help others find their way to death then get the fuck off the road n back in your god damn church cuz it aint your job to tell people how to live or die.
10 Apr 2006	Bryan	Ya know what... You all make me sick. I grew up in Downtown detroit. I was a skinny white kid that got my ass kicked every fucking day by black peices of shit just cause I am white. Then at school when I was in 6th grade, this peice of shit stabbed me in the leg with a ball point pen because I tackled him in a football game. Then after that, my best friend killed him self when I was in 8th grade, he left a note saying it was because his friends didn't like him. At his funeral his mom yelled at me while sobbing and told me it was my fault. That I killed her son. When i was a sophomore in Highschool I walked into my kitchen and found my mom fucking some dude I didn't even know. I told my dad and he beat the shit out of her, and when I tried to stop him he beat the shit out of me too. I graduated highschool early, with a low GPA, just so i could get away from the city and all the bullshit. AND YA KNOW WHAT MY ADVICE TO YOU ALL IS????? HATE FUCKING HATE!!!! YOU DON"T REALIZE HOW WONDERFUL A MOTIVATER HATE IS. FIND SOMETHING AND HATE IT. IF YOU HAVE TO, HATE LIFE... AND DO DRUGS TO SPITE LIFE. IF YOU HAVE TO HATE EVERYONE ELSE WHO WANTS YOU TO BE SAD AND BE HAPPY TO SPITE THEM. IF YOU HAVE TO HATE YOUR PARENTS AND DO BETTER THEN THEM AND RUB IT IN THEIR FACE TO HATE THEM!! YOU WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING??? FEEL HATE FUCKIN' A DOES HATE FEEL GOOD.
07 Apr 2006	ummm.....i dont wanna say	i'm 14 and i know what its like to be suicidal. i attempted when i was 12 or 13 and i remember EVERYTHING about that night. i overdosed (about 40 advil). someone told me that it would work for sure, but they didnt know y i wanted to know if it would work. so i popped pills all night. and when i reached about 25, i started feeling soooooo sick. the worst sharp stomach pains hit. but i was determined to keep going, driven by the shit i went through. the thoughts of y i was doing this ran through my mind, which was what kept me going. i woke up 1 hour later on the floor. and i have to say that waking up to a failed suicide attempt was the most heartbreaking thing ive ever experienced. i go to an all girls school so the drama level is ridiculous. which is what drove me to do this, along with hating my parents. i had friends, but no one that i really could talk to. no one i really trusted. im not against suicide & anyone who thinks its selfish is full of shit. cuz its a selfish thought to think that. & if ur contemplating it, first of all, dont OD.....cuz it doesnt work!!!! there are better ways. the only problem is finding one. but whoever you r, i know what ur going through & i can live to say that it is NOT FAIR AT ALL. i really wish u would rethink ur decision, but if ur sure u wanna do this, THINK FIRST! god bless you all.
07 Apr 2006	in memory of our dear friend, Jeff, who ended it all on December	i personally dont know the best way to end your life.but i do known that if you want to cut yourself, the best thing to do is take to blade out of an eyeliner sharpener(or pencil sharpener)i had a close fried commit suicide on December.17th,2005. he used very strong anti-depressants, and alcolhal, mixed with heroin, crack, and meth. he was an alcolholic with alot of problems, and if he were to be alive today, he would be in jail. ive wanted to end my life since i was in grade.4 im still alive now but still wanna die. i cut almost everyday, and smoke weed. the weed does help. i know how it feels to be hopeless. kind-of like all you want is a big hug and sum1 to talk to. a close friend knows im suicidal, and he said "you know how you felt when jeff killed himself, and just think of this: if you kill yourself think of how your loved ones would have to deal with the pain for the rest of their lives". that brought tears in my eyes.(thats not exactly how he said it, but something along those lines.) ive tryed to overdose, and it didnt work. i tryed to bleed to death, didnt work. good luck with what you chose to do...if you need sum1 to talk to, email me @ system_of_a_down_1000@hotmail.com thx. take care.
06 Apr 2006	no Gutts to die	I dunno weather I am Depressed or not. I feel lyke telling all my problems and everythng to some person whoem I can trust. Since abt 4yrs I am searching for a date...when I'll commit suicide. I dun wanna live. I want death now at this particular time...may be within 2-3 days i'll commit. Just waiting for an opportunity. May b a love/girl can stop me. May be some particular girl whoem i love. Ppple arround me think bad abt me. And now i know I am hopeless. Pple aaround my home dun talk to me thinking this person is hopeless. I wanna die before I get burdon on my Parents. Every Munite of my life if getting difficult for me. I wanted to do somethng gr8 in computer world...but my parents see no hope. and they want me to get away from computer world. I had no girl frndz. When i tried to propose some one the girl was already a love of one of my frnd. I dun wanna live. The reason I dunno....itz not becoz of love only....but itz becoz of also that I am hopeless. May be these are my last words i have typed here....from now...i too dun say gudbye...I dun care if pple read this or understand me. Yeah....no on understands me.
06 Apr 2006	Just Another Suicidal Person	I am 15 years and like many people in the world and most of the people reading these...I WANT TO DIE I am thinking about killing myself right now. I don't really have a reason i just want to. I was never raped or abused. My parents are both very caring and still together.I have never really lost a loved one. (Right now your are probably thinking ya thats great stop feeling sorry for yourself your pretty lucky so why would you want to die?) Ya i have depression. Ya i have tried to hurt myself and killed myself. But I went i told my parents and i got help. I go to a theripist and im on meds. I know that suicide is not a good choice. I know that if i die i will hurt the people who care about me. BUT I STILL WANT TO DIE BECAUSE I CAN'T FEEL. I just feel empty and i don't understand how life can be worth living if you can't feel it. I cut myslef just to feel the pain, the blood, the scars. I JUST WANT TO FEEL AGAIN but if i i can't i want to die. I don't care how i just want to leave. I think the only way i can feel life....is through death. Im not sure if that makes any sense but that's just how it is for me. I hurt myself to feel the pain and reassure myself that i am actually alive and i might even kill myself just to prove to myself that i lived. I have know idea I just want to feel again. I just want to live.
05 Apr 2006	happy	i was searching for a site to put my last words on and i think this one is as good as any. i have a few words to say to anyone who cares to read them. i am weak for commiting suicide and i know that but i just don't have enough to live for anymore. i lost the love of my life. i have always been depressed. i hate my life and don't have many friends. why do i tell you this? i don't want your pitty. i don't want you to feel bad. i just tell you why i kill myself. to kill myself will finally make me happy. i already have the knife out and on my wrist. and i am smiling for the first time in a long time. i don't know what's after death, i just know what i believe. i might make a few people sad but i might make a few happy as well. with that i leave these last words of wisdom. be strong and don't take your life like me unless you do it with a sincere smile. i am happy to let death embrace me. i have nothing left in life but life itself. by the time you read this chances are i will be dead. don't feel sad for a happy person like me. i die sad and broken but still it makes me happy to die. to anyone reading this i want you to know to keep living for whatever you have in life. i love you whoever you are and don't feel sad for me, i don't even give a real name on here and how can anyone cry for someone who's name they know not. keep living.
04 Apr 2006	purpose finder	ya know, readin all this is kinda made me feel alot of emotions. i have tried to commit suicide a few time and i'm only 17. started about when i was 12. i was born into a good family, went to church, was okay in school. no one like this could consider suicide, but i did. why? why do i live? i still ask myself this. i must have a purpose to live but i see none so why don't i die. i have been so close to death so many times by accident and on purpose that he should remember my name. i guess i was being watched by god and he wouldn't let me die even when i begged. i have scars from self inflicted cuts and bruises from beating myself. i have a scar across my wrist with seven stitch marks from an accident. i was less than 1/10 of a millimeter away from my vain and lost so much blood that i passed out in the hospital waiting room. almost every week i had a knife to my neck or wrist or at my heart pushing until i started bleeding from pushing and with one motion i wouldn't be writing this. maybe this is a purpose in life, to stop people from killing themselves. i have done drugs and over-dosed before, but a good thing about drugs like marijuana is that it is close to leaving this world without killing yourself. i have started rambling so i'll just say a little more words of wisdom i have found. at least live until you've found your purpose and if you don't like your purpose then screw it all. i still look for my purpose and to help some drugs keep me sane until i can find it. it's like using a crutch to get where you're going.do drugs if you can't stand life anymore. they may say your weak for it but at least you'll still be alive. and i say to live and be weak than dead and seem strong is better any day. if someone really loves you they will understand. i know this seems confusing but i one person understands it and is saved then that is an accomplishment. also don't slit your wrist it
03 Apr 2006	Jessica	A new toy. Suicide is not a toy. This sight makes me quiet sad. I really hope those suggestion for suicide are not true. I'm not 13 any more. Long past it. At age 12 I found my mother in the kitchen from committing suicide. She had a history of depression. To this day, I still think about her and how I wished so bad that I could help but at the same time so angry by the selfishness of the act. From then on, I too have had extreme cases of depression. Even unsuccessfully attempted suicide twice. My life was never that hard or never that great. But every morning was a battle to open my eyes. But I "lived" every day. I struggled through every one of them, but it was all worth it. I promise there is always hope in the future. JUST HANG ON!I am an adult now, and I am PLEADING to you that this be stopped. Suicide is NEVER the answer to anything. It may seem like the easy way out. But I promise you its not. Please find help. Talk to someone.
01 Apr 2006	pander	If you want a slow death, simply find a way to survive each day until you realize you are now 36 and still question why you are on this earth and cry on a daily basis about it. It is an easy solution to a slow death and even though you will also torture and bring down the people that really care for you at least you won't leave them in a suicide survivor category. That is some consulation to the suicidal kid who worry how their friends or family will feel after the suicide. No, spare the one(s) that really care about you and just make them live with a person who won't take responsibility for the brain & body they were born to and get right with it. No one says you have to be happy, smiley or satisfied with how the world is. I am happiest when I am the saddest and at times prefer to be alone, unshowered & depressed. I just give respect to the closest person that I trust by telling them how I feel every day. I write notes, songs, draw pictures, text mess anything to communicate what my deal is for the day. It is a way for me to express my uglies withought feeling bad about feeling bad. It gives that person a heads up if they want to be around me or not. And it's ok if that person can't handle it either cuz if you end up needing professional help (like to keep a job or not hurt someone other than yourself) then a friend isn't going to help long term. Just like getting a tattoo and all your friends want to tell you how to take care of it and they all say different things but it's the professional that can guarantee how it will heal. It is not cool to go postal or make attempts on your life if you haven't even shared your feelings in some way with someone. Give a trusting person the chance to listen without passing judgement on you. It's ok to be scared of their reaction or if they want to put you in a hospital but try it at least once. I am still too afraid to share my long drawn out suicide with anyone (but I do have 1 person that knows ALL) because I don't want to be judged, fired, or consoled! I will never feel happy or normal! It is ok to share your pesimistic views on life just as it is for someone to say 'have a nice day'. Just know that it's ok to feel the way you do. Life sucks and I try to live as little of it as possible so there is more for the ones that want it. But if you want a quick death just rent Johnny Depps movie 'Secret Window'. Much quicker but more painful.
31 Mar 2006	LiFe SuX	You are beyond screwed up. My boyfriend tried to commit suicide and luckily he did not succeed. If u are contemplating it like this than u aren't serious about it and if u are then u are rly fucked up. I once tried and u know wat i can not believe that i did something so hurtful towards my relationship w/ my boyfriend, it messed things up so badly. Thank god in the end we simply bcame much closer. We both have tried and it was the worst thing we have ever done.
30 Mar 2006	Ashli	well im 13 and i tried to kill myself at least 5 times i tried to slit my wrists but i had to get 5 stitches i tried fall off my trailer but i got 2 broken legs i tried pills but just got in a coma for 3 weeks but now im glad im still here even though i hurt myself many times no one knows if i exsist...
29 Mar 2006	sailorkreeper	Don't kill yourself before 13. You have to wait a bit more to see if its really worth it. I've read some of the posts people put on here, and I have to say that they've brought my spirits higher. And mouchette, we all very much appreciate this website. I wasn't raped, I wasn't beaten. I wasn't abused, ridiculed, or anything else. I just grew up with the notion that it's always my fault. You know, people say that it's going to get better, and I have to say, it probably will. But how much longer do you have to endure the current crap before you get to that spot? Like few others, I would love dissapearing from this planet, it's just that I don't really have the courage or the endurance for pain to tolerate my departure. I know this is gonna sound so like... everyone's said this or this is so not worth dying for, but... It's really hard to live without a reason in this world. I had my music, but I quit. Wanna hear the reason? I was too happy while I was playing my instrument. My other great hobby has turned into a chore. It is near impossible to enjoy things anymore, and I cannot find any examples to justify the definition of fun. I live moderately well with my college tuition paid off. I have good friends, and my academic credentials are probably in the top 10% of the university. So why am I whinning? Why am I complaining? Because I'm weak, and I'm a wuss. Like some others, I hate going home. I was kind of bad before, but not as bad as some people here, so I guess I'm again, just complaining. Heck, a year ago I never would have even contemplated cutting my wrists. I didn't have the tolerance for pain. Now, depending on the knife, I can either do it fast, or stay at it for five minutes with the same result. I've built up my tolerance. The thing is, even if it doesn't get better, time hides the scars. Now, everyone that knows me (except family) thinks I'm smart, pretty, nice, friendly, ... Family is another thing altogether. One dissapointing word from any family, and after you head off to sleep, I head over to the knife counter. Just as I've progressed from last year until now, I'm confident that within five years the cuts will get really serious. The thing is, I just won't tell anyone. I'll let the "bleeding blood flow by". And do search for someone to talk to, that helps a lot. People do care, and don't feel that they don't deserve to know, or they have enough things on their minds, why add some more? True friends are willing to hear you out and help you. And it's true. The more you survive, the stronger you become. You could swear in my face now and I would not be affected. It takes a gazilion of bad things to happen to me before I get pissed. But one thing that I haven't really heard, and it may just be because I have not read all the posts, is that people don't feel any justification for the pain and abuse that they have to suffer through. I do. I'm the one that watched my father give my brother a bloody nose and hit him over and over again. I'm the one that would tell my father that my brother hit me or yelled at me, and then ... This is the eigth year that I've lived with my father now, my brother moved out two years ago. The occasional crap that I get that moves me towards those knives, I deserve. I didn't do anything. I was selfish, and I took advantage of situations. I was stupid, and even now I don't take care of my appearance. I've hurt so many people, that a bit of karma is a good thing. Goodness gratios, now every time something good happens, I always expect a devastating bad thing, because that's just how the world is, it equalizes. But yea, try to live. Don't try to die. Let the blood stay in your veins. Do not try to blow you brains. I don't wanna say "Good-Bye".
28 Mar 2006	Jessika	I've tried overdosing before, all that happened was having my stomach pumped and becoming an in-patient at a psych ward for half of December last year. Surefire way is just jump off a bridge into a highway. Has to be high enough though.
26 Mar 2006	Norbert	You are so right .. I've never thought about the .. what if .. question .. my only problem was so far that I am to scared to do it.. I was confrunted with the problem several times since the age of 14, thinkin about jumping cuting myself but I got too scared and thought that one day someone something even God thatI am a better person than many around me and that I deserve a better life..well I've got a better life than many,but why is it that we always compare ourselfes to the people above us not the people below us? Anyway I don't think you should kill yourself when you're under 13..live life a bit more, hell I'm 21 and I'm stil having times when I just wanna cut my wrist .. just like half an hour ago when lots of freakin bad thoughts came to my mind and I realised that my life from now on will only go downwards.. we all have different problems some take them bravely and some have money or other people to help them take the problems in a different way .. It's just that I'm so mad at the moment at all this ... crap we live in this stupid world that gets only worst ... but then again .. I'm to scared to do it and I foud myself here writting to people I don't even know and I'm probably off topic too..well I'm calm now .. mouchette your page just saved a life .. come think of it .. there are 6 bil. other ones.. OMG I'm blabing about nothing.. I'll live to see another day, just ignore my post .. move along , life's so beautiful but sometimes it's so ... crapy .... have a nice life ...
25 Mar 2006	Anon Angel	I know you're probably sick of hearing that you shouldn't commit suicide,you have so much to live for etc etc.I don't pretend to know what you're going through and maybe that's coz i do know.I'm 18 and have had a fairly mentally and emotionally painful childhood.I'v been thinking abt suicide since i was 6,tried it 3 times.The prob is that i'm still sitting here...but is that really the prob?You know they say that life is full of wonders that you have to be alive for to experience.My life right now is much better than it was,but every now and then when something does push me over the edge i contemplate suicide but the thing that pulls me back is one question:What if it all gets better and i'm not here to live the life i'v always wanted?The point i'm trying to make is that no matter how bad it gets there's always gonna be a "what if" question,and if there's a "what if" question then isn't it easier to ask yourself "what if i proved to them all that i can live this life the way i want to live it...live my life?"I hope you can find some peace in this.

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