Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
19 Sep 2007	Broken	Well, i dont know the best way to kill yourself when your under 13, i would say its the same way you could do it when your under 100. I want to do it, reading this site has in a way helped talk me out of it a little. But when your contemplating suicide, some days its "i dont want to die" other times its "i cant wait to die..and soon!" Just a small comment to those who think suicide is dumb, stupid, selfish or whatever other insults you want to say..it doesnt help, it makes me feel worse, i want to do it more.. Hows this.. I feel like a failer because I chicken out in committing suicide-- I do think of friends and family who will get upset, my dog, what will happen to her? But then I feel like a failer while I am alive. So either way I feel like a failer. Im not a rich kid, but rich kids get sad to, I have been thin and fat, felt pretty and ugly, been a captain, champion, leader, popular, and been teased, abused, and scared. People dont want to live for many different reasons, and no persons reason is less worthy of suicide then the other. Because im no expert but when it comes to suicide, everyone is in the same boat, all in a dark place, suicide taking over the brain day and night, thinking if you ask for help it means your not that serious about doing it. I just want the pain to stop, so if its not going to stop while im alive, i hope it will stop when im dead.
17 Sep 2007	Jamie Malinowsky	Ok listen.. killing yourself isnt the way to go.. my father just commited suicide and he left me and my 2 sisters on the streets.. you want to kill yourself? so than take a look at the people who love you and what you will do to them. Killing urself is a choice that you hold, but if your only fucken 13 years old, you have ur whole life ahead of you. why would you want to kill yourself when your life hasnt even started yet. I watched my sister suffer from cancer and watched her die right in front of me.. she didnt have a choice to stay alive and your going to take it for granted.. have u ever heard of the quote, " i felt sorry for myself cuz i had no shoes, until i met a man who had no feet" .. this is getting ridiculous, seek help for crying outloud.. suicide isnt something to fuck with, and if ur that selfish than maybe u should die and let a cancer victim live.
16 Sep 2007	ohhh i like secrets.	you are soooo totally not reading this right now. you are dreaming. in this dream you feel trapped. when you wake you will find yourself frightened and laying in a warm puddle of freshly despensed urine. upon closer inspection you realize it isnt urine its sweaT. you are just feeling all kinds of fucked up shit because you took a shit load of pills trying to kill yourself and ur in the hospital with all kind of tubes hooked up to you. later that day you find out you have been in a coma. for a week and a half. at this point you feel like a failure because you cant do anyfuckingthing right. even tears wont release the pain you feel inside. now i could keep going. but i think i have illustrated enough. what im trying to say here is overdosing on pills isnt just something you can say oh lets take some of these and these. oh and these too. no. it dont work like that. cuz if you fuck up like i did you could be typing a post on here like me. one handed. i had a fucking stroke and now half my body dont work cuz the nerves are dead or something. oh so go ahead take what you want. now i cant even stand up to get to the pillz to try again. i cant even kill myself. i guess im lucky i can still wipe my own ass. i guess theres always starvation.
02 Sep 2007	Sara	Honestly, it's not worth it. I know that if you're going to kill yourself or has thought about it, that you've heard that line, and it pisses you off because you belive it is. but trust me - from one suicidal person to another - it isn't. when i was 14 i walked out of my house with a noose in my hands. my parents didnt know, and neither did either of my siblings. i went down to a tree where this other kid had hung himself. i went there because i had gone down there a lot to visit with the kid (yes wile he was dead, i would talk to him, pray for him, stuff like that) and so i thought that maybe if i did it there - it would make him and i closer. i understand that his spirit isnt there and that the person that i talk to is only a matter of my deranged mind. however, i had gotten into position and everything and kicked the cross that was holding me up, yes, the boys cross, over and my brother and his friend just so happened to be walking down there to get to the river a little bit more south and they saved me. i again tried after a few months (once i was able to handle rope and everything on my own without being watched) i almost had it but the spot i put it on was rotted a little bit and i didnt notice it. i fell down and hit my head on a rock... and was passed out for about 4 hours. after not being home to check in my sister came looking for me and found me with the noose around my neck. considering i wasnt going to try something like that again, because 2 fails and i'm done, i dont belive in 3 times the charm. i had decided to drink poisen... and my dad for some reason had come home from work early and found me half dead and called poison control. so yea - it's not worth it cuz if you try it something is just gonna fuck up your attempt anyway. so - it's been a year since my last attempt. i'm not allowed to have any sharp objects, which makes no sence to me because i'd never cut myself, i'm not allowed to have any kind of ropes, i'm hardly allowed to touch belts. scarfs i cant use - even in dead winter. and when i clean a bathroom or something i'm to be watched. they dont understand my state of mind. in my bedroom is a computer, my bed, a tv, a stand to hold it up, my guitar, closet, dresser, a stereo, and my nightstand. now - i can kill myself with any of these items. trust me - i could think of some sick way to kill myself with a peice of paper if i had to. but they think that with those things - i'm save. but honestly, i'll never be safe. and i'll never get my old happy life back. for now - the only thing i have to live for are my two nephews julian and deandre. shall they ever get taken away by my sister i of corse would die inside a little bit more, but i want kids because of how sweet and cute those two little guys are. so seriously - just try to look on the bright side of everything -weather it be your closest family member dieing or anything else that makes you so upset that you cant take it anymore. because if you look at the little things, you realize that life IS worth living.
31 Aug 2007	Kira	I grew up poor. My sisters, brothers, and myself were all molested or raped. Incest was a big part of growing up for me. My mom, my stepdads, and her boyfriends all physically beat us. From the age of twelve, she slept with her husband and boyfriend, so that made me look at women badly(even though I am one). I do look at men worse than women. I was considered a genius, but when you grow up being told you're worthless, most of my abilities were wasted. To the person that said," Quit being stupid and call someone," I'm offended because my siblings and I called many times. Nothing long term was ever done. They would investigate, but my mom was a good liar, and they would ask the questions right in front of the parents, so most of the time we were too scared to answer them. After a while, you start to be really sarcastic. One time, I told the social worker,"I'm bloated, constipated, I got a boil the size of a walnut on my ass, and the last sex I had was with a halloween pumpkin. The few times they took pictures, we would move before the investigation was done. We lived in our car for a while after one incident because my moms crackhead boyfriend lied and said he had land in Alabama for us to live. That was just to get us to run from the cops with him. I moved out at sixteen, at first with friends, and then with my boyfriend. I graduated with honors, and I have no idea how. I've struggled with thoughts of suicide my whole life. I even tried to kill myself. As an adult, I had to drop out of college, lose my place, car, and I pawned most of my stuff because of a drug addiction. Anyways, after all that I'm off drugs, and I have a career in clerical administration. I'm with the same boyfriend that I was with when I moved out seven years ago. I am so glad now that I didn't kill myself because there are so many things, I would be missing out on. I am going back to school. I'm the only one of my siblings that graduated from high school, went to college, didn't get married at sixteen or eighteen, didn't have a kid by sixteen, and there is only one other that isn't on drugs. I hope you can get through this now. Also, I wasn't saying not to call the cops. In fact, I hope the abused do call the cops, I was just saying I understand why some don't.
28 Aug 2007	medicated	i know maybe where u are its illeagle. but when i want to blow my brains out i smoke some marijuana. kinda takes the edge off. i would also like to say that anything harder than puffin on the green will just make it worse. but seriously it works for me. cuz i got problems. dont wanna go it to it. but i can actually THINK now cuz it calms me down. maybe puffin on the tasty treats isnt for you. but you need to find out what will help you THINK. it only takes three seconds of openminded thought to change your mind to a positive non suicidal state. this has been tested and proven. three seconds. versus u aint comming back. well im gonna get me a bowl of ice creame and take a nap now. much better than brains on the celing.
26 Aug 2007	hanging on	I've been suicidal since i was bullied at school for guess what??????? being pretty! i tried everything and even tho im not like totally over trying to take my life, I KNOW its not the way out and at 13 you really only just need people to talk to...i dont have anyone who understands me..i never really have but trust me if i can live this long knowing each day when i wake up that i have no one n so many problems then u can. I suggest (if u can't talk to ur folks im assuming) u try to get an appointment with a consellor of some sort and just let everything out, and even though u never go back to see them..that one day can help u live through the problems ur having. Like someone said before, u have someone even if its just one person in this whole world that actually loves you please hang on to that. You probably have a great future ahead of u...most people from my former school who were bullied like me are now popular teens that everyone just wants to hang out with. Life's like that, u could be the king of the playground in kindergarten and a street sweeper as an adult, and in most cases the bullied, no friends, standing on the wall unnoticed kid in skul becomes mr/ms so successful as an adult. I know i sound hypocritical as i am suicidal myself but i must know life gets better coz im still here...n planning to be...
26 Aug 2007	Everyone's Mom	I am a 41 year old mother of 3. On 8/16/07 (Thursday a week ago) I went to check on a friend that did not show up for dinner and found she had committed suicide. It was HORRIBLE beyond anything I've every experienced myself. I will NEVER be the same. She chose a violent end to her life, the big F-U to everyone. It has changed my life in so many ways but all of them are for the better. As a teen, young adult and even as long ago as a month ago, I had considered this same path for myself. I WAS WRONG! There is NOTHING in this world worth leaving it. Tomorrow is a better day and if not the next day gets better. I've stood in my front yard screaming at my friend for leaving me with this horrific image in my mind to carry, alone for the rest of my life. My children have had to watch me hallucinate and sob for days over this but as I come out on the other side, I realize, and I have shared with everyone around me, that there is KINDNESS in this world. There is beauty in EVERY step we take, every breath we breath, every tear we shed. My friend was consumed with rage, anger, hopelessness. She bathed all of us in it with her passing. If she had thought with the part of her that cared for others she NEVER would have left this burden behind for the rest of us. She left me a note. Her soon to be ex-husband won't give it to me because he's a jerk (one of the reasons she chose this path). I refuse to let it bother me. I refuse to let this man make me miserable the way he did to her. I know she loved me. If you are considering leaving this life, please take a moment to think about your future. You can and will escape those that have wronged you in the past. Especially if you are young. The BEST revenge is to live well and prosper. You can, but you have to make the concious decision to do so. You are worthy of this life. You are here for a reason, you have hope and beauty whether you believe it or not. I've chosen to channel my grief into making sure that EVERYONE who crosses my path knows that they are WORTHY of life and value. The fact that you are here means you still have the chance to make a difference in the lives of society. Hang on to your future. There is HOPE. I came to this site hoping to find a way to cope with my own loss and I see that there are others that have shared my own pain and thoughts of leaving this world. Now that I have been touched by someone who has I can tell you that IT'S NOT WORTH IT! You will never be able to "SHOW THEM" from the grave. You CAN show those who have caused you pain by walking away from them, step by step into the bright light of THIS world. Don't leave us. Whether you actually feel this from the people close to you, there are those of us that truly understand your pain. We have had those moments of despair and RAGE. Ending your life will not exact revenge on those that have hurt you because they still have life. They will move on. Stay here, with us. SHOW them that you are of value. I don't even know you but right now as I sit here I'm telling you that YOU HAVE VALUE! Go outside, look at the full moon. Look at a sunset, look at your child, look at yourself. Words and hurtful actions of others cannot bring you down. There's someone out here holding on for you and you don't even know it. Please, please, please, don't leave us. This life is worth living and your are worth living it. Whether or not you realize it you are loved, you will be loved and life will go on.
24 Aug 2007	john paul	i have ben reading this site all day to find out that killing your self is not the way to make things better event thow some times i dought my own words .i have lerned alot from here one of the many things i came to realyze is every one here is alone and it feels like no one understands u no one loves u well as hard as it is i em going thought the same thing u guys are going thourght right now and i came to the conclusion that in a way we HAVE EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE KNOW THE PAIN IN EACH OTHER VANES this site is very powere full in a way it can be nagative or possitive depending on how u try to face it but honest le this site is perfect for thouse seeking help because u look on how to kill your self and u see other people testemonys and how they try and try and how they share but who knows maybe that is what we need to now from each other because DEPRESSION IS EVIL AND IT CAN AND I WILL KILL U if u dont evercome it so realy look at your selfs and think of things u can do to change who u are because its not easy and i will never be easy if you dont try to fight it and if u thing people dont love u because of the way u are maybe its time to take in some consideration and changing who u are for the better but death is never the awnser i em still learnig that fell free to email me if u feel confortable and i will be there to listen and try to understant but dont forget YOU ARE NOT ALONE BECAUSE WE HAVE THE SAME PROBLAMS AND THAT MAKES US UNITED!!!!!
24 Aug 2007	El Cid	If you are under 13, and wish to kill yourself, it can be done. But understand that one experiences the most emotional and philosophic time of their life at this age. It is traumatic, but as fire to the phoenix you emerge brilliant and worthy of awe. If you are young and wish to die, I humbly submit these alternatives: angst. contempt. honor. defiance. courage. grace. duty. indifference. respect. allegiance. spite. bravado. There is no better way to tell the world to fuck off than to spit in the face of adversity. Suicide is an admission of defeat. Why fall on the knife when you can twist it in another's ribs? Figuratively speaking, of course...
22 Aug 2007	empty	luckily i've never had anything terrible happen to me so i don't know why i want to end my life other than i am miserable every single day. i always feel so utterly alone all the time, even if i'm surrounded by a group of "friends." i also don't have any one really to talk to; no one to really confide in because no one around me really understands. i'm not brave enough to actually commit suicide. i feel like a waste of life and truthfully i lash out at my friends and my parents for no reason, then feel really guilty about it, and cannot do anything to change my situation. i cry myself to sleep practically everyday and i feel everyone would be so much better without me. the one quote that has helped me get through a lot is: "you can always put off suicide." so what's the risk in taking a chance and having hope that tomorrow will bring some unexpected happiness? it's only 6 words long, but that sentence has helped me so much over the past 7 years. it has even helped me cope with these suicidal thoughts right now. if you had access to some hemlock or something else that would guarantee death, would you actually take it? see, i don't think i have the guts to. and i hope that no one here does either. you have no idea how much reading all of your stories have helped, even in prolonging my life by a few minutes.
21 Aug 2007	still here....	i'm 14, 15 in 5 days. i have attempted suicide 3 times, and failed every time. so my plan is that if i bottle up all the pain and anger inside me, it will make me stronger, strong enough to take my life away. but then i decided i would give life one last chance, for my friends sake. one year ago, i had a close circle of friends. They supported me and really liked me, or so i thought. you see the truth is, i always knew i was different to other people. When i was as young as four, i dreamt about everyone i love dying and things burning and the world coming to an end, and that's not normal! so when i turned 14 i found my feet and realised i was turning into the person i wanted to be. i was fed up of following the crowd and wanted to become my own person. then things took a turn for the worst, i started to suffer from depression. the people i thought were my "friends" left me and ridiculed me because i was different. i got addicted to alcohol and spent 6 days a week, drunk. then one night when i was out i was quite drunk and i was walking along when a strange man, in his 30's, grabbed me by the shoulder and dragged me round the back of the hall, with his hand over my mouth to stop me screaming, yes, i was raped, and he threatened to kill me. every day my depression got worse, until i was diagnosed with manic depression, and saw councellors and psychiatrists every day. and i had no friends left, my own father started to hit me, and tell me that i was a freak and constantly reminded me that i had no friends. that was when i first tried to commit suicide, and failed then i met two people, the only people i could call "real friends" merryn, and matthew. they accepted me for who i am, and that felt good. but merryn moved schools, she wa an hour and a half drive away, and matthew was 20, and he started having a relationship with a girl in my year, and we faded apart. i tried again to end my life, and failed. then i was determined i would not fail again! i got my hands on a large dose of morphine and injected it into my leg, i didn't know where to inject it, but figured it would do the job anyways. i woke up in hospital a few days later, extremely pissed off that i was a failure AGAIN! the doctors said i was very lucky to have survived, but i didnt feel lucky at all! they said that the amount of morphine i took was enough to knock out four horses! and that if id injected it in2 a vein, i would have been dead before id finished injecting! merryn heard about this and came to help me, she said i needed to meet some people who could show me that this life is worth living! and it was true i met loads of people who i love! they are amazing! and i was actually starting to feel a lot better! then just recently my dad banned me from all contact with them! because they are a lot older than me! and he doesn't want me "gettin myself into trouble!" im slipping back into my old ways and i don't want to! i miss my "real friends" so badly! i have no contact with them at all! i can't live without them! and i've told my dad this, but that just gets me a smack in the face! i need help, im too young to leave home, and i cant cope! just when my life was getting back on track, it's been taken away from me! i don't think he wants me to be happy, i think he actually WANTS me to die!
15 Aug 2007	anonomous.	Dont kill yourself. Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, its not the end. Killing yourself is just proving to everyone that you gave up. Then everyone will think lesser of you. If you make it through it, People will think of you more highly. I know this for a fact.
15 Aug 2007	dianne	You want to kill yourself at 13??? I am 26, and I think of doing it still, just this year I have had 2 miscarriages, and life is getting harder. Thinking and doing are 2 different things though! No one said life was meant to be easy, cos it isnt...it's damn hard, but if life wasnt hard, could u just imagine how boring it would be? only cowards commit suicide, because they cant deal with life, so they take the easy way out....well BOOHOO, life has its moments...good and bad...u cant just think of the bad times, otherwise u will end up miserable, make ur own happiness...we are here for a good time not a long time, so make the most of it! how do u want to be remembered? as someone that was always depressed and down? or someone who grabbed a bull by the horns and took on life? dont take the cowards way out...because u just never know what tomorrow or the next day might bring you
09 Aug 2007	trying	i tried to kill myself about two years ago i was 14.... my life from the very start has sucked the stuff ive seen and gone through is unimagineable and i finnally decided id had enough.. so i took about 100 tablets i really thought that itd all finnaly be over instead i woke up two weeks later in hospital....i had to stay for 3 months while a psychologist diagnosed me and i have to say i got better but it wasnt the doctore he was a complete idiot... i just finnaly had enough of having to tell ppl how i felt so i stopped i didnt take my medicine i didnt go to counselling and i prtended ntohign ever happened... and now verytime i feel like i cant go on i remind myself that in a few years time itll be different everything and everyone will be different it may sound stupid but its all ive got... doctors cant help me and i know somethings wrong but i honestly thinki can keep going and i know all of u can too.......................
08 Aug 2007	kaitlin	For all you people that are thinking about commiting suicide please don't why put your family & friends through pain for the rest of their lives and if not for them for yourselves if you dislike yourself that much get surgery or anything.. Trus me anything is better than suicide i tried to hang myself once in my bedroom my mom came upstairs about 3 minutes later i was choking she cut the rope and she was absolutely crying her eyes out i felt really bad and have never done anything like it sinse i felt terrible watching my mom pour her heart out. And all you young people why the hell would you want to kill yourself you've got your whole life ahead of you and even if you *think* your fat and ugly there are worse off people in the world than you people getting torchoured everyday innocent people children adults its horrible. Youve got your lives ahead of you getting a job first boyfriends/girlfriends n stuff even if your ugly there's someone for everyone i hope this has changed your mind .. if not i really think you should seriously think about it before you do anything suicide is the worst thing in the possible world!!! to be honest i felt like this many of times but yourve just got to look on the bright side really least your on this earth one of gods great creations why commit suicide yeah it may seem good at the time but as soon as the blade or w.e goes in you will regret it trust me life isnt all bad even if ur an ugly bitch like me.. just put ur head up high and fuck the world were all equals were all the same please dont do it were all related some how if not by blood then by love so please dont harm urselves theres no point!! PLEASE!! Love you all xox
04 Aug 2007	Kelvin	Im a 16 year old gay high schooler. I get good grades, Im a talented artist and composer. My family is well. I have plenty of good friends. Im over-sensitive, chronically depressed, and i have a family history of suicide. Sometimes I wish I could JUST DISSAPEAR. Im terrorfied of tommorows and shameful of yesterdays. Im too big of a coward to kill myself. I want to die soo bad, but I know I cant. I have loved ones that depend on me being here. People may not appreciate me while Im here, but I know I have a role to play in the grand scheme, and it would be irresponsible to give up. Just because you feel like dieing now doesnt mean you will always feel that way. Everyday is a chance for something wonderful to happen to you, and life only lasts so long, you might as well live it to your very last days. If you want to kill yourself, I beg you to reconsider. I know the impossible weight of life, I know how you must feel so hopeless against, and I know you can overcome it. Whoever you are, know that I love you and that you will be in my prayers.
01 Aug 2007	sarah	i cant tell you the best way but im now 21 and living what i would deem a pretty normal and good life however when i was 14 i did try to commit suicide because i thought i wasn't good enough and that i wouldn't end up anywhere decent i got made to think i was useless and a waste of space the only thing i got out of my failed atempt was 3 weeks in hospital and 4 years of pyscotherapy and belive me it wasnt fun if you want to commit suicide my advice would be to put it to the back of your mind and if you still feel that way in a years time do it at the end of the day most people dont suceed but it will make you see things in a different light trust me been there! and as for all you people slagging off the creator of this site well what the fuck you doing here in the first place yes i doo doubt the creator is actually 13 but maybe they are trying to help!!
01 Aug 2007	dana	if you want to die at 13 God bless you because your heart is already dead at such a youg age.please reconsider? i am 39, and grew up an only spoiled rich kid. parents split when i was 16, remarried my mom screwed my bf at the time and i now have a brother from that. my father never speaks to me, and lives 5 miles up the road. i have ocd and now i know when i was 8 and afraid to sleep, and had weird thoughts and feelings, i wasnt crazy like dad said i just had mental issues and they have mutated into some form of malignant craziness.i have a great bf, who has taught me to love myself, even tho my parents still, old as they are, kick me down every chance they get and focus only on their new kids and could care less about me or my kids,their grandkids... life is tough, i have lived in cars, moved 35 times since 18, and now at 39 live in a beat up trailer with holes in the floor, and am on ssi because i cant cope with the public.the rest of my family is rich,but they would not buy me a band aide if i was bleedin.i just dont care anymore.. but you know what? i dint wanna die. i love my home and my life, i love my family even tho they dont really give 2 shits about me. im a black sheep never got the college the rest of the family got.dont want it. im learning to be happy every day with what i have and i know in the future with Gods help and some luck ill be just fine. and you will be too. anyone can die it isnt an accomplishment,living is a true quest.
28 Jul 2007	reverse mortality.	i feel as though i am growing old watching everyone else living a good life. a life that getting up in the morning is desirable. i feel like i fallen thru the cracks of socioty. like socioty is burdened with my ability to breathe. i am in a bubble. you cant hear me scream and the hole i have fallen into is so deep echos would distort my cries for help. this world, socioty, isnt for me. not anymore. when my family ousted me as a young child i lived as a wild dog in the deep Forest. i remember the day i went feral. it is almost a revelation to become as a wild animal. free. you become free in a whole new way. to be wild means you would rather starve being free than be well fed in captivity. to be wild means no cop can take you to jail. being wild means you are not afraid to die. a older wiser friend of mine spoke once to me about the worst kind of dog is one that has gone wild because it doesn't appear to be wild. it has been around man before. and it can walk right up to, and amongst a crowd of humans and no one has a clue the nearby animal has developed a taste for fresh meat. as i walk amongst the humans i pity them. they are slaves to this socioty. they have not had their inner beast awoken. few know what freedom is. i am a danger to socioty. but if i seek help and i tell a counselor they will lock me up. (there is no help for me.) I'd rather starve to death. i have had pet wolves. have you ever looked into the eyes of a wolf looking back at you. the gaze is cold, silent and piercing. penetrating thru you. as if you are not there. they are studying you. they are studying for the exam of do or die. eat or be eaten. live or die. freedom is beautiful. my family and everyone i have ever had any association with has turned their back on me. life has taught me many things. my life has been very hard. have you ever used a tree root for a pillow? have you ever been blamed for a bad drug deal and had people hunt you even in your own neighborhood as you are a man eating bear? have you ever tasted the bitter flavor of rotten tomatoes inside a burger you found in a dumpster? ask yourself if your life is so unbearable you want to kill yourself? I'm not saying i went thru this you can to. maybe you are as strong as i am. but if i didn't find someone finally, that loves me i would be dead now. maybe my fate isnt completed yet. maybe my purpose in life is to be a serial slaughterer. i feel it growing in me. the desire. the one i love is teaching me well i dont know what to call it. but it soothes my inner beast. maybe one day i can have balance in my life. i wrote this to show you that no matter how bad the world is against you maybe, maybe there is hope. maybe if you live long enough you may even find love. i wont tell you its a for sure thing. maybe your fate is to be counted among those who make the suicide statistic head count. i would say i hope not but i dont care. i wrote this more for me than you. after all i am kinda like you. a walking human steak. the Forest is calling to me.

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