Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form. |
Date |
Name/email Nom/email |
What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans? |
03 Sep 2009 | no i refuse you my name | Slit your wrists as fast and as painfully as you'll break your family's heart. Then, let your blood pool into a dark crypt of self loathing, until one day your mother finds you passed out from blood loss. On that day I was reborn. |
02 Sep 2009 | SourSonia | If You Are Really Depressed And You DOnt Even Know Why, Then You Probably Have A Good life, A Happy Life, But There Is Always Something Missing, And That Thing Can Be Small Or Large, But It Makes A Difference. That Difference Can Lead To Suicide, Belive Me, Ive Tried A Lot Of Things That All Led Me To Hospital In Fail. If i Had To Choose Another Method Of Death It Would Be Locking Myself In A Garage With One End Of A Hosepipe In The Garage And The Other End In The Exaust Of A Car With The Engine Running. That Is Only Me though, Im 13 And Living My Life As If Its Already Over, Im Dead Inside But That Doesent Mean I Have To Be Dead Physicly Yet, Ive Still Got Stuff To Do In My Life Like Loose My Virginity To The One I Love Or Travel Around The World. Yeah I Will Enjoy It But There Is Still The Missing Peice of My Life, And That For Me Is My Dad, Since He Had Married Again Which Was When i Was 5, Ive Never Seen Him Again. I need A Father Figure In My Life, Not A Shitty Old Boyfriend That Makes Me Feel Like Shit Every Single Day, or A Mother That Mentally Tortures Me, Or A Sister That Got Back With A Person That Had Tried To Rape Me And Dident Get Sent Down For It Or The Little Annoying Brother Who Every Day Tells You To Die Whilst Holding A Knife Up To Your Throat. Some Times It May Feel Like There Is No Way Out Of This Misrible Fucking Life, But If You Think To YourSelf That You Are Strong Then HopeFully You Can OverCome All That. I Admit I Do Have It Pretty Easy Compared To Some People, And I Feel Bad For Those Who have Got it Worse, I Really Do, But Just Dont Give Up Hope On Yourself, Yur Better Than That, And I Figured That Out MySelf, No Anti-Depressants Or That Shit, Just A Lot Of Thinking, I Mean Who Are You Really Trying To Impress! Just Take What I Have Said And Think, Dont Give Up yet, as Much As You Feel You need To, Just Live Your Life First, Then If You Enjoy It, You Wont Have To Come To Death, It Will Find you By Itsself, When You Are Truly ready, and Only Fate Can Decide that. Just Be Happy~ No Matter What! |
06 Aug 2009 | Paul | I used to think of killing myself when I was 12, 13, 14, 15... and on and on and on I'm 50 now. Was a cop for 25 years, and helped and saved countless lives and turned others around had four children one grandchild they are all good people... yet here I sit still thinking of killing myself 38 years later because I am sad and don't know how to handle the sadness but, sure glad I did not when I was 12 would not have made a difference in the world if I had died in 1970 or shortly thereafter... older but not quite wiser? |
04 Aug 2009 | Kamilleon | Well, I'm 13. theres a hook in my garage, and we have rope. this is probably the easiest next to shooting yourself, because te most painful part, when you jump off the table and break your neck, it just makes you want to die even more. but the other night, I dreampt of doing this. the garage was decorated like a fortune-tellers hut, and there was a tall lady there next to me. i remember floating, right above where the hook was. the lady helped me through it, like she had done it before. but of course, thats impossible. when I jumped off, the room got darker and darker, and all i could see was the feint glimmer of the candles. then, i started to feel pain. not a physical pain, but a mental pain. It was like regret, longing, sorrow, and fear all at once on maximum power. i imagine that to create that dream, my bodys emotion hormones went on overdrive, because the emotional pain hurt even worse that when my appendix burst. and after i died, i could still feel the emotoinal pain. I felt as if my body, my concience, and my aura BECAME the pain. it grew deeper, and deeper. until it hurt so much, i screamed. in real life. and i woke up. at first, i didnt remember the dream at all. i knew i screamed, but i didnt think about it when i woke up. later that day, i was online. something reminded me of that dream, and soon i was on the floor crying. please, dont commit suicide. my theory is that the last thing you do with your energy, you will be for the rest of existence. and the only time when dieing would feel good is if your a happy person and you were having a good time and died. or of you are a sick person, and you were resting. but a depressed person commiting suicide to end the pain, it doesnt end, you become it. |
03 Aug 2009 | Shana | That deep dark place where no light enters... its a transitional space. It feels infernal, eternal.. but like all things, it passes. Everything is in passing. Nothing is ever constant. Nothing. Some things last longer than others. Is that a depressing thought? It can be, but it can also be hopefull. Sometimes, you need to LET your world come crashing down around you, and in that silence, when the dust is settling, the noise is over but is still reverberating on in the inside of you. If you sit in that darkness, and let yourself feel the emotions of your world crashing, you will live to see the dust settle, and what is before you is an entire NEW world that you had NO idea about. Eventhough you had no hope for something better.. write about your pain, write through the pain.. sing, paint, dance, play, and live through the pain. The creations from the pain are beautiful.. and you will look back with sadness that you felt so terrible, but you will be happy to have grown to see it. |
10 Jul 2009 | TWiGGiNS | What is there to this madness? It’s all crazy. Just like me. Maybe that’s why I love this so-called life that I have. For some awkward reason, I kind of enjoy the pain. The inferno in my gut; the ice under my skin. It’s my own favorite brand of drug. Forget heroin or crack. My addiction is suicide. What is this building supposed to be considered? My home? What the hell is a home anyway? I’m not sure if I’ve ever had one. A building filled with cheap furniture and lies is all I’ve ever known. My body feels like its made out of cold steel. Like something you would see out of Edward Scissorhands. Covered in paper skin. Smooth, cold, white: paper. I touch, I listen, I look at, I talk. But I never feel, I never hear, I never see, and I never speak. Even to the people that I do honestly speak to. Even when I do honestly tell someone about this, they don’t ever care enough to do anything about it. They call me lazy? They are the ones who are watching their friend or family member getting torn to shreds. They are the ones watching me lose my mind. They are the ones watching me decay. Slowly but surely. But do they do anything? I think not. They are all way too caught up in their own little daily existences. Because in reality, nobody cares about anybody. It’s all just lies. People say “I love you” all the time. TV, friends, family, music, significant others, ect. But does anyone really know what love is? Can anyone truly define it? I’m literally losing my mind. I’m honestly going crazy. Oh well. Its all in good humor I guess;). I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now. In the back of my brain and the crannies of my imagination I know that I am deeply deeply hurting right now. Sobbing in my stomach. But on the front, I feel happy. Tired, but abnormally happy. Oh well. I guess its just another unknown side effect of being a lunatic:) Cheers, Twiggins<3 |
04 Jul 2009 | Michael Evans | This is the first time in my life I have ever been open to even typing my thoughts on the web to people I don't even no.... Perhaps I am doing this to help me feel better in keeping my sanity. I have always suffered from anxiety and depression. Never once have I complained to anyone about it. Life is a shit hole. Yes, it does have it's ups and downs. I've heard this many times. I have felt at one point in my life the air I breath was taken away from me and woke up gasping for breath. It was at a sense peacefull but scary. I guess the scary part was that I have not ever felt that before. I have came to what may be a conclusion to my thoughts. We are all brought up in diffrent enviorments and situations in life. When somthing traumatic happens there is almost a sense of dispair, which then creates stress, crazy thoughts, and of course actions you cannot take back once done, I guess I am trying to say roll with the puches, which I am getting sick of doing. I will be 30 this year and am again feeling the same I have felt before. This time much worse and have been thinking of suicide alot. My wife has had a friend that just move past this life. At a sense in my own mind this makes me feel okay with moving on as well. I do have a wife and kids. The only thing that is a fact keeping my actions in check is the fact I do have kids. To see there faces and the happiness they feel when I am around. I look at pictures alot more these days to try to keep my mind from constantly dribbling to my dark hole. My phone is a voice peace of pictures every day. When I have my moments I look at my phone. My wife is beggining to think my phone is my life. At this point in time it has been. I don't like to share my demons with family or my wife for the fact I am not looking for sympathy. I just don't know how much longer I can live feeling the constant stress my body produces on an every day basis. I think of the shit my kids will endure now that I brought them into this crapy world. Hopefully I can stay sane long enough to keep the inevitable from happening sooner. Thows that deal with the same feelings I do hope for the best. I just wish I could take my own sympathy and answer my own problem. "Till We Meet Again"... |
02 Jul 2009 | morula | hello, i m not another suicide story, skip the details, just wanted to warn all of you of the dangers prevailing at dwelling too far to suicide, claiming to want to kill myself, foreas in Germany the threat to suicide is a compulsive element for emprisonment in an hospital , i ll try to be sharp, but do not tell anymore you re about to drown, not your parents, not your best friend you ve got none, not even your dog, i d had an history with pills, failing to die first in february, but was highly on drugs at the time, which i was hiding from the psychiatrists that hitchhiked me at hospital, got out after one week first time, but once month after as i d stoped the phets we were taking, me and my boyfriend having to change places for sake of getting clean again, i stayed in berlin at that moment precisely when i d stoped all the chemical craze my parents cut me the money, they d send me as much to survivre or less i was seriously getting depressed the days i didn t have my grass, started harassing them at night, not so often but talking on the answerphone, telling about all those people who comitted suicide, not only that, how they d fucked up my life, my dad, my mom, unusual scheme i m the bad kid, in the end that s what my father says, because i want to sell my shares in his stupid company he calls me you you shit daughteer you , nothing to be offended by but when they decide to put me in hospital he lies to the judge, says he s given me overamounts of money when he d just been restricting me to the limit of sanity, so one morning, fed up, i drank two beers that let me overloaded with agressivity, phone my mum , the gas people walking in to cut it off, was listening to music too much, horrible mistake not to do it, right here, right now, instead telling me mum i d hang myself, then i left the flat with the doggie helmut, who can away, when i came home the cops had broken into the flat broken the doors, with 112 the firebrigade, shitty mother had phoned the police, alerted the authorities, called upon all bits and pieces of attention she could grasp, help me save my daughter, imagine i d be hanging, they take me down, save my life but not my brain, they took me to the remote place called st joseph, the local warp,was just drunk, and then there you threatened to commit suicide means a judge ll interfere, you re stuck there for two weeks waiting to meet him, when you do he sentences me to 4 additional weeks, fed vitamin K, fallacious drugs, the highest dosis possible, skip the reasons why i m so violently hit, i was chemically lobomitized, could not sense a sign of movement in my mind anymore, no symptom of an emotion whatsoever, of nothing anymore but the devastating conscience of being alive still, waiting the hours aways, counting the minutes, hell one weeks passes by, they tied me up at a bed at first occasion, because i pushed an alarm button, hallucigenic drug injection together with valium, how dare you keep your sanity in those circonstances, i came there as heavy suicidal they broke all my human rights, intentionnally lenghtening the butchery up to the moment where the soul s dead, slow agony in claustrophic containment of one s legs, arms, waist, awakes only a rare sadist vision to me, bondage and torture that s what happens to son of bitches who didn t respect their mother, wreckless junkie, all in awe before my very own rights, if you begin to protest, talk about respect, individual rights, your own, beg, then necessarily insults your executionners more injections, sound like hell what happenes after you re stuck by mummy calling the police to drag you there were you belong, into the arms of a psychotic doctor, a sadist, a nazi, if you ve been familiar with prescription drugs you d appreciate thirty milligrams of zyprexa, 1500 mg of thick antiepileptical sirup, drags you down to nothing, incapable of nothing but eat anymore, can t sleep, can t go to peace, valium, all that bullshit, 6 weeks stuck inside a smoker s room, a harden and one s little psychopath room, waiting for time to drag by so intensely wasted, doesn t think anymore, pharmacollogically prevented from commiting any mental sin whatsoever, no sign of life has been signaled in there, you re dead, walking still, they re telling you you ll never get out, you ll stay there for months and months, till you re no longer the same anymore, you ve been changed, modified, chemically, and morally, that s a sin, a shame, i lose my nerves, called them all nazis, didn t chose my medication, my fate, my destiny- after those 6 weeks and a psychiatric expert interfering to save me i m finally released, may 10 you re out of there, ok but it seems you re strange, no longer the same, they controlled you too long a time, invaded the metabolism of your brains, your emotions, your motives, your dying with depression, worse you feel like the ultimate shit. btrsl break, phone |
23 Jun 2009 | rusted from the rain. | please don't kill yourselves, it is not worth it. life sucks. but you become numb to the pain. so let it hurt for a while. and then one day you'll wake up and realize that you don't care that it hurts. and it doesn't bother you that you don't care. and slowly life will not be able to hurt you anymore. just keep moving on. from what i hear, 2012 is the end of the world. what's another 2 years, eh? come on kids, just keep moving. it will get easier. trust me. |
03 Jun 2009 | jessica | hi i have no idea if anyone reads this thread any more, but u r right now so i'll add some of my thoughts i've struggled with depression for most of my life, esp as a child. i can tell u this much. as hard as u think u might have, someone out there has it worse. someone desperately wants to live, but won't be given the opportunity. don't waste ur life. please realize that life is full of ups and downs...u just have to roll with the punches and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. i don't think u can rightfully make the decision to commit suicide, based on only 13 years of ur life. please hang in there...wait it out. at least give it a decent run. ask urself when ur 30...but not now...there is so much that could still happen to turn things around. things i have been: raped, drug user, prostitute, homeless...things i am now: married, a mother, employed, drug-free please hang in there! i did and really it did pay off... |
29 May 2009 | Jess | I have to say this again. I hate when people say " I know how you feel?" bull shit! I never will say that or understand you but I feel you in a way and I have been there. It takes a while but there is way. Too much to experience and some will be bad but holy damn!!! Soooo much is good! It is so worth it!! Take from someone who tried and died and was brought back. No Joke, 18 years old.. thought what is the point and took a large bottle of of HIV pain meds. Died once and was brought back to see my momma standing above me. That was it. How selfish? Keep looking at the living horizon and walk. With love - Jess |
29 May 2009 | Jeece | Damn, it really is not the way to go!! You don't think I know how you feel? Waking up in a hole. Hiding in a closet crying and pucking your guts up because of not being able to breath? And worse, putting on a lying smile to all your close family and friends and just hoping one will see through it. Holding a knife and cutting yourself and then trying to hide it? I KNOW!! I have been there... do not choose the exit way. Days change and they do get better. Some days are still screaming and mad but the next day is better. I promise. |
21 May 2009 | Hey guys, really I was going to do it, but i decided that id give it another chance... And now im happy, eventhough i still have problems, most probably more than what i had at the time, i konw how to deal with it now. I think its a question of getting to know yourself. There was a great entry a while back, it was about a monk and a guy and the reason for life, go check it out. it made me think | |
20 May 2009 | lysistrata | when you kill yourself, the wrong shit wins...there's life after you're a teenager (seems like everyone forgot that here)...and what makes you a loser is taking the pussy way out of life just because someone is mean to you. grow a pair. life isn't easy for anyone and you're ignorant and blind if you think even one person on this planet feels good and safe...we are all confused--and how are u supposed to decipher this crazy reality we live in if give up your time early? Memento Mori...we all meet this end someday...it is inevitable, needs no help...the trick to life is staying alive LONGER than the assholes that fuck it up...u won the lottery when you were born THINK ABOUT IT...what were the odds that YOU get to see this place...I used to think about suicide a lot...but I've decided I'm a fighter, not a pussy who's gonna let all the dicks in the world fuck me out of my life...i won't fuck myself out of it either |
19 May 2009 | lost | pretty much read most of your reasons you guys suck. i want to kill myself because i live in a fucked up country with a fucked up judicial system. MY father started as a congressman then later won as a senator apparently he screwed with bigger fish and wat they did in return was to fucking destroy him by providing some woman witness which by the way was an admitteddrug user and guess who did those fucked up individuals chose? ME! but fucking truth be told i was in california when it fucking happened. had all kinds of evidences from documents to fucking over fifty witneses attesting i was had a paycheck issued to me close to the date even had days proving i was working round about the time that heinous fucking crime happened three women stabbed to death. best part we lost the fucking case. |
13 May 2009 | Shilova | I've had fourpeople in my life commit suicide. The first was when I was in middle school. He was a regular sort of guy. Older than me. Second was my high school band teacher, severa years after I graduated school. He was accused of having sex with a minor. The other two were my age, close to 30. Friends. One did it out of rage, his fiancé decided she wanted someone else. The other was accused of raping a woman. He was a policeman about to go into FBI Academy and engaged to be married. Anyone considering suicide at any age needs to realize that the isolation you feel is part of being. It's normal. All people, to some extent, are isolated. Only through communication do we truly know each other, but that is limited. No one knows your private thoughts, knows the person you are inside. This all being said. Suicide is a selfish and cowardly act. The pain and anger I felt that these people in my life gave up, not realizing how their death would effect others. One, there sister found him; the other two, their best friends; another, his wife of many years. No one is worth killing yourself, no event so tragic to give up on the gift life is to all. How about stop watching tv, the news especially. Stop hating yourself. I've been there personally. But life is exactly what you make it. Realize that no one is perfect, and people love you. Life isn't just today. Life is you being kind to yourself. To others. Looking at the sky at night. Seeing the trees sway in the wind. Stop with all the hateful thoughts in your head, put as much importance on the good in yourself and others instead of tearing yourself up. Life is hard. It will be, but you mean a great deal to people, even if you don't see it. Take one step, one day at a time. If you still feel you have no hope, TELL SOMEONE. Talk to a good counselor. I don't know about if a person goes to hell once they commit suicide. But I know that a person that takes his or her own life should have to endure the agony and heartbreak for those left behind, wondering what could have been done. PS. Insurance does NOT cover suicide. |
06 May 2009 | Les | I am 35 years old. married, 3 children, a cat and a dog. I do not believe in god or any religious icons. All I know is everyday is surrounded by a big black cloud and a stomach full of anger. What would be worse for my family? me being me in a shitty in-sensitive mood or me being dead? This is what I am wondering. Life at 13 seemed so ..... Fucking stress free compared to now. kid if life is that bad at 13, things don't get any easier. make your choice for you and not for anyone else. Ultimately it is our decision. writing this makes things seem so clear.A moment of clarity in a world gone mad! Why am I thinking of a painless end, after all everyday that I remain breathing; is just the most intense pain I have ever felt. I don't need help, I need.... I need an end to it all! |
01 May 2009 | skidmark8 | ok, i am not 13, i an actually 31. these problems come and go throughout life. i have been wanting death since i was around 12 or 13. i was too weak to do anything about it. i bought a house when i was 22, and lost my job a year later. imagine the stress that creates. i made it through that. i recently got married, and went on the honeymoon in cancun, and now my wife of 2 months says that she is not happy anymore, and hasn't been for 8 months. now we have to divide everything, and go through this whole ordeal. i have a 1.2 million dollar life insurance policy, and my wife and sister would be grateful i am sure. it's just so frustrating knowing the one person you let get so close you is not the person you should have let in. |
01 May 2009 | I wish I was pretty, I wish I was skinny, I wish he loved me, I wish I was good enough, I wish I was smart, I wish they cared about me, I wish I had the courage, I wish I had the strength to keep fighting, I wish I had the will to end it all, I wish I had money, I wish I had power, I wish I had parents, I wish I had friends, I wish I was funny, I wish I was cool, I wish I had a boyfriend, I wish I had a girlfriend, I wish I had a family, I wish, I wish, I wish I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish.... it never ends. You'll always be trying to be something your not. Why not just be yourself. Life is too short. The tragedy of life is not that we die, but what die's inside us as we live. With each year, with each day, we make decisions, take actions, learn to live with things, and underneath all the skin and bones, we are dying. We are dying the day we are born. And each second after that we get closer and closer to death. We are all dying, the sick, the healthy, the rich, the poor. What makes a story, what makes one eternal, is what we do in our short time on this planet. Things are being asked from us that we don't want to do. Being pulled in every directions. Being drowned in pressure, to be something, to be someone, to do good, to do bad, to be big. Just be you. That's all you can do. So what if your not pretty enough? So what if he looks at other women? So what if he mentions the hot college girls and all the pretty women So what? I can't change. I am not them. I can never be them. I am just me. I will never be thin enough. Never be pretty enough. Never be smart enough. Never be good enough. Never be the right skin color. Never be the right religion. Never be the right nationality. Never be tall enough. Never funny enough. Never be serious enough. Never be happy enough. Never be sad enough. Never smile enough. Never frown enough. Never cry enough. Never be quiet enough. So many nevers. So many wishes. There isn't time. All you have time to do is be you. Stop and realize that everyone who you think your trying to be good enough for, doesn't really care whether you change or not. If they are still in your life, then they are there for a reason. Your already enough. You may not see it, but they are there for a reason. Because in their own way they care. But we are all people. Therefore we are all flawed. You can never be good enough for anyone, especially for yourself. It's impossible. Just be glad you have arms. and legs. and you can walk. and you can see. and you can smell. you can taste. you can think. you can write. you can read. you can go to the bathroom. you have food. you have clothes (so what if they're from walmart or the thrift store???) little things. simple pleasures. we take advantage of them. even if the whole world is falling apart, at least you can still see the beauty of the sun setting and rising. or how the stars twinkle up in the dark sky. be glad that your mum is there, or your dad is there. just be happy to be you. I know it's hard. I'm still learning to do it myself. But you know what? I am tired of trying to become what I think people want me to be. Because its too hard. And the harder I try, the more quicker I reach my grave. Because years pass by, and I'm still not what I think they want me to be, and I haven't been able to enjoy my youth, I've just been slaving away, trying to be something unachievable. Fuck what you see on tv. Fuck the magazines. Fuck the celebrities. Fuck them. They are who they are. And you just need to be who you are. That's all I can say. And if what you are is not enough for someone, then tell them to fuck off too. The one thing that is certain about life is death. Every thing else is a gamble. Take chances, take risks. And try to live. Your already dying. We all are. So just live. Whether you want to die or not, it will still happen one day. So quit worrying about death. It's coming. Life is what we're running out of. Life is what's going to go away and never come back. Death is eternal. Life can be anywhere from 1 hour to 100 years. Maybe 110 if your lucky. We are all dead inside. Just live. Honestly. Death is coming. So just live. |
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30 Apr 2009 | Dianita | My name is Diana, I am 20 years old. I know it is hard to talk about physically abuses (rape) and few times I have try commit suicide, as well. About 5 years ago, I was 15 years old, I went back home to El Salvador for summer vacation with my family, during the ending of vacation it turn out to be living nightmare, I was rape by my closest cousin best friend. After the trip, I came back to Canada, I was afraid to tell my mother or anyone for many years...And there were many time I tried to commit suicide to end my nightmare for many issues going on with my household of my parents fought, rape, aloneness, lost of yourself, and noone love me. I was so lost, and alone for many years, I was acting like I careless and pretend nothing happen, but deep down I was broken, fear of men and fear to be in love or physically touch. As Result, there were so many task that I never suspect that I have changes my life, such as my friend never once met him, have into my life, and understand my pain and sadness, because he have similar suffering. Then slowly he have fought with me for internal issues to let free my pain and sorrow to move on forward in life. And he have open my eyes to better view of the world for no Negative around me, and he have taught me that my family might have their rough path that have effect into my life but it is important that your sibling are following my pathway because I am older and they look up to me for the strength and wisdom and courage to better future. If you wonder that I am afraid of men still? Yes, I am afraid to physically touch, but I am still learning my comfort zone, I know you can find the answer to your pain and sorrow. But I telling you that you don’t have to look, that someday a person will come to ease your pain and suffering to lighten your heart to better life. |
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