Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
11 Nov 2010	coryyy	im exactly 13 and 1/2 right now. ive been contemplating suicide for many years. and heres my story. it all started when i was 6 and 1/2. i was raped by my sisters ex boyfriend when he was supposed to be giving me a bath. ever scince ive ben plotting revenge. starting with him and ending in myself. then my mom just recently threw a ceramike plate that she split in half on the counter. it left a huge scar.... my bestest friend in the whole wide world nate said that it gets better. im starting to scrutinize if thats true. my parents treat me like dirt. and for a while school was the only way out. until recently. ive ben called every name in the fucken book..whore..lesbian..freak...weirdo...useless. and worst of all....."it". i want to just shoot myself right now but i cant.. i got the gun in my hand right now and i just cant...does anybody hear me??? no nobody does... im all alone in this world.. the only thing keeping me from my destiny on the other side is......nathan.... i love you..ill try to never leave you
09 Nov 2010	greg	im 29. it doesnt get better unless u lie 2 yourself or get drugs. my plan was to just run my body and brain into chemical oblivion. but the memories hurt me EVERY DAY. they say u only remember the good times. THATS A LIE! EVERYDAY MY MEMORIES ARE ONLY PAIN AND SADDNESS. life bad when people say "dont worry, things will get better" and when u dont "get better"? its worse... they dont say anything at all. TRANSLATION: YOU FAILED AT LIFE and p.s. dont depress your nieces and nephews
28 Oct 2010	loquita	drugs and alcohol.(if you take this seriously, read all of this, if you arent willing to do that, read the last few paragraphs) i say this because i have spent the last four years of my life killing myself slowly with these tools. i was fifteen when i started to drink "socially". also the same age i tried marijuana for the first time. i found a great escape in these things. when i was drunk and high i could forget about how worthless, insecure, disgusted with myself and depressed i was. i thought i had found a savior in these things. i speak from experience, and it can be debated all day whether pot is a gateway drug, but for myself, and many my friends it was. pot lead to coke, then to mushrooms and lsd, then to ecstasy then to pills, and not to mention the array of drugs that the pot was laced with out of my 4 years i spent wasting myself. at first it started out doing these things in the summer. but when school started back up, i needed an escape from the pressure and stress of highschool and the troubles i was having at home. my parents have been divorced since i was 1 and i didnt get along with the stepfather. so drinking and drugging became a weekend hobby. i graduated from hs a semester early and started college. i found many of kids with the same habits of me and the drinking and drugs became almost an everyday activity. pot and alcohol became my life. i lived to get high and drunk. so much that i quit going to school. then on st. patricks day of this last year i got a wake up call. i was arrested with a dui, and spent 7 hours in jail. i realized i was spinning out of control. but what was i supposed to do, its hard to stop spinning once you start. i tried to quit, but i had addictions rooted for 4 years. i stayed off drink for about 3 weeks, saying if i just smoke ill be alright. but it didnt last, pot alters perceptions until it was clear to me, as long as im not driving i am alright to go on as i please. i spent april through august in a drunken stupor until i got another wake up call. i had been on a two week straight drinking binge, every single day from the time i woke up til i past out the next morning, fucked up. a friend i hadnt seen in awhile came to pick me up to hang out from this house i was staying at. i was still drunk when she got me at 9 in the morning. i passed out in her car on the 2 hour drive to her house, and when i woke up i couldnt remember where i was or why. i kept trying to cover up what i was feeling, that i was out of control, with pot. but it didnt work anymore. i didnt forget the things that bothered me when i was high anymore. then something happened. what i can only explain as a spiritual awakening. later that day, by the grace of god, i found some kind of strength from with in to ask my mother to take me to rehab. now, today ive been clean for 2 months after completing a rehab program that has given me much information and support. maybe ive rambled, but i just wanted to say all this in some attempt that maybe someone feels similar to me. and cos i know that many kids younger than 15 get into these things. i found this site by accident, not intentional. but lately i have come to believe that nothing is accidental. all i want to say to wrap this up is i know what its like to not want to live, to try to do anything to stop everything that is going on around me. i know what its like to completely hate the person you see in the mirror. i know what its like to want to die. and i found some earthly ways to kill myself slowly. but out of all this, what ive realized that death wouldnt of solved anything, death would have been giving up. i know at times it seems thats all we can do, but that just simply is not true. youve got to find something in life that makes you genuinely happy and hold on to that. when youre 13 years old, you havent the ability to see very far into the future. but im telling you, if you just find that something and hold on to it, you will see better days. and that drugs and alcohol are not the answer, the only thing they will bring is an empty band and a world full of hurt, and addictions. ive learned from my experiences, but you dont have to. you cant become an addict if you never pick up the drugs and drink. dont waste your life like i did. cos for the short time when it made me feel okay with myself, allowing me to forget, using these things. that all was a lie. it was just a cover up cos all the problems were still there. the problems in life dont go away until you stand up to them and start dealing with the demons, before they deal with you. dont be afraid child, you are loved. by at least one person on this earth. me! and by someone that isnt on this earth. god is love. stay strong, live long.
23 Oct 2010	Jessica Climons	I was 4 when I was officially depressed. I was abused mentally and emotionally everyday of my life by my sister and the people in school or around the world. I secluded myself from the world and being young I learned that hating myself and not having friends was the way life for me was suppose to be. I hated God, life, my parents and started to become sexual at ayoung age. As I grew older the looks became more important and the people jugded me more untill I drunk cleaning supplies to try to kill myself. It was God in MY heart always telling me to vomit or pass out when I took pills and to not go on with it. I tried to get my life to god but the devil always had his clutches on me. Because of my low self esteem he always had me. I hated my father and mother because I felt they werent there. But when my mom found one of my numerous death notes she took me up for pray and a man told me something that mom told me but it meant more from a stranger saying "I love you. It will be alright, and YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING!" you kids werent put on this earth for no reason or to be an example of imperfection being stupid or being full of flaws, or whatever thats bothering you people to kill yourself you were put in this world to do the good. I LOVE you people e-mail me I LOVE YOU i can be there for you just dont give up life because the devil is urging you it took me almost 10 years to be free and Im only 13 right now. The devil is going to show you what pain is if you kill yourself being in gods light is work [hell yes] but it worth every second of work to noitce you feel happy. God bless you e-mail me jclimons@yahoo.com im there!
13 Oct 2010	Chelsea	I know im writing a lot, but your not a lone in this world. At 12 I got drunk and laid down in front of on coming traffic. I didnt care. My friend who lived across the street got to me before a car did. Second time I slit my wrist. Woke up at the hospital. The state i was leaving in let me decide if i wanted to leave my mom. I did. I had tried to kill myself and she was in the hospital screaming at me. She was told to leave. I never saw her until 9 years later. Foster was ok. I lost my foster dad after 3 years. I never thought i would ever have that. It was worse than the abuse loosing him. My foster was never the same at 15 i was a lone again. That feeling has never left me, but im here im trying i want to be happy everyone deserves happiness. The one thing that kept me strong and i can honestly say after i was done crying i always told myself someone out there has it worst than me. Doesnt mean thats good just reminded me not to complain because my life could be worse. I am just one of the walking wounding.
13 Oct 2010	Chelsea	I tried to kill myself twice when i was 12. Im now 22. I cant really say I regret trying. It was my escape. When I was 5 my cousin who was 16 was molesting me. It started when I was a sleep at night. I woke up in the mornings with my underware off almost every morning. At 5 i could never understand why that was. I thought it was me. Until it started while i was awake. My mom and moved us away. She saved me from that monster but that didnt protect me from her. She was acholic and drug addict. Never home. I raised my little brother. My older sister only cared about herself. When my mom was home i was beat. Thrown through the front door , black eyes going to school, my sis and mines head banged together or into walls, kicked in ribs. Things that are imbedded into my mind. My grandfather tried to molest me two years after my cousin. I knew better. Mom wouldnt believe me. I was in and out of foster care more than 4 times for periods of 9 months at a time and then returned.
24 Sep 2010	firefighter	Well first off I can speak from true expereince. I had a shit life growing up. Abuseive family, being molested by a teacher in my public school for three year and holding it all in. I became a firefighter/Paramedic inwhich I saw many horrible things. But I pushed it all down. Then one morning I woke up and I looked at my self in the mirror and said too myself I want to die. I was 22 years old. I went to the basement and grabed a container of antifreeze and poured myself a large 8oz glass. And down the hatch it went. That shit taste the worst. So I went to bed.Woke up the next day feeling ok a bit funny but still able to do my job and all that. The thing is with this stuff it isw harmless to you untill you liver processes it, that when the shit begins to hit the fan. By the morning of day three I new it was close I was still fucuncial but I spent a bit of time with all my friends and family knowing that it would be over soon. Yhat night was hard it had taked effect it works on you like you are really drunk very impaired, I was having a hard time walking and moving around. So I went to bed. I next thing I kinew I woke up and was heading down the stairs and some of my friends were there. As I got closer to them they could see that there was something really wrong and I collaped on the floor. I was taken to the hospital and I was having seizuer after seizuer and they could not find what was wrong with me. So two days later they were going to send me to a major truma center in London as they were loading me in the ambulance I died. They worked on me for 18min and 14sec and brought me back. So they flew me to london. Where I staied for 5 months three of which I was in a coma.I had to relearn to wealk talk dress my self you name it all over again. I am now 33 I am now longer a firefighter because I have permant kidney damage due to the antifreeze poision. But I am back in College thaking Electrical engeneing I have a 5 year old son who I love to death. I would be lieing to you if I said that I never think about suicide any more because I still to. But that will Be a battle that I will have to live with and fight with for the rest of my life. So put up your fist and fight you can do it.
01 Jul 2010	Kelli	Listen young man i know its hard and its tough...but life is too precious to do something sooo stupid. I am 19 divorced, and have no relatonship with my mother by choice now. When i was 9 months old my mom left my dad, my older sister, and me. She was 19 and partying was her life for the next 6 years. My dad remarried a Bitch that beat me, her dad raped me, beat me and cheated on my dad..in front of me many times. My mom tried to come back to save me but only to hurt me when i was 7 when my dad remarried. Later to find out that she was a drug addicted and try to get me to turn against my dad. I chose to stop talking to her for 6 more years because she was allowing my 6 year old little sister to do drugs and drink with her. When i was 15 my dad finally believed me about the woman he was married to that she was cheating. We left, and my dad went down the deep end. Im 15 a freshman in high school working 3 jobs raising my self. After 2 years i couldnt do it and i turned to my mom. Again..i was hurt by her, her abusive, perverted hustband and was back on my own. 6 months later a guy i had know my whole life asked me to marry him. i said yes. I was working 50 hours a week a senior in high school taking care of both him and i. I couldnt tell you how many times i have been baker acted, how many different guns i tried to use, or how many times i would sleep wishing i would never wake up. 4 months after i got married, i graduated high school with a 3.6 by my self working...just to proove to people that there is hope in some people...a month later my husband beat the hell out of me...that when i still look in the mirror i dont see myself the same i still see the horror that he did for 6 hours and he locked me in our house for 3 days before finally turning himself in for what he had done. I had the same job for 3 years and quit because it was all the same. I drank, and drove, took pill cut myself. I have tried it all been through a lot and still walk around with a smile on my face. Sometimes its better to kill others...with kindness than it is to kill your self...because once you have done that you have prooved to all those bad and mean people...that you let them choose your path instead of making your own.
26 Jun 2010	the one who deserves death	Whats the Best way to kill yourself when you are 13? Here is the Answer, there is no best way it all hurts very painfully. you have alot to live for and trust me you really do... i wish i had chosen the right path when i was around that age but depression got the better of me and i continued my ways. i say dont do it, there is no need live your life and grow old and then die of natural causes.
04 Jun 2010	Christopher	It makes me quite sad to read this (I found this page by accident. I know how some of you feel. Ok Im lucky enough to say I've never been abused and i will never be able to understand the kind of pain that must cause but I know what it's like to look on the mirror and completely despise what is looking back and feel like erasing myself off the face of the planet. I spent 3 years desperately depressed and ended up in hospital more times than I care to remember. I took overdoses of sleeping pills, painkillers and a huge amount of alcohol. I've cut myself so bad that i've lost some movement in my rift hand. There is no way to properly describe fully the pain that I felt. Right now I'm trapped in a loveless relationship with a man that openly cheats on me constantly. I can't find work so I can't get out. At least work was an escape for me. My family has disowned me because a while back when he started cheating I forgave him and refused to leave him. I spend every day being told I'm worthless and a waste of space. But I know that if I kill myself I will only prove the world right so I vow to somehow pull myself out of this rut and make something of myself. I know what it's like to not be able to sink any lower and be gripped by complete desperation but no matter how desperate you are everyone is unique and special. I know you probably don't feel it but I promise that each and every one of you has a valuable place in life. It may take time to see it but I swear it's true. There is nothing so cruel as false hope so I whole hearted swear that every person on earth is amazing and beautiful in their own way. I love you all and I hope one day you can see the strength in the mirror and love yourself for having the strength to overcome your pain.
31 May 2010	Alyx.	Personally, I think the best way to kill yourself is to take a little bit of alcohol, and mix it with a certain dosage of aspirin. (you will fall asleep, and you will die painlessly). If you take too many pills and drink too much alcohol, you will throw it all back up. Or, you could sleep for a couple of days, and awake with liver problems. However... you're thirteen. I wouldn't do it if I were you. I've tried it - once when I was eleven, and the next at 15. I failed each time. I think I tried it a second time because, well, what - I'm such a failure at life that I can't even kill myself correctly the first time around!? But you... I've learned the hard way, that through all the mucky shit and bile-filled people in this world, there are actually a few decent ones out there. I'm not saying I'm better - or that you'll be feeling better with a snap of your fingers. I don't think the people who truly do want to die, or have attempted it, ever feel any semblance to normal again. I know that if I would have succeeded in ending my life, I would never have met my baby brother, who's life I want nothing but the best for, and my baby nephew, who I want nothing but smiles and laughs for. It's bitter sweet. It's hard. I never thought I'd make it past 18. I KNOW I won't make it past 23. Really, the only reason I'm around is because of the new, innocent lives that have entered my life. But for anyone reading this, you don't NEED new lives to better yours. You need to find something that you hold a passion for, something that might spark and hold your interest and (dare I say it) hope. I don't think people need a handful of pharmaceutical x to feel better about themselves and their lives. I think people just need someone to listen and care.
26 May 2010		I have been visiting this site for years although I have never posted and im doing so now just to say that reading some of the stories on here has helped me and brought me comfort as it has made me feel less alone when dealing with difficult emotions. I hope that everyone comes out the other side of whatever it is you're going through.
24 May 2010	Niclaeus	It's hard to justify suicide when you're just 13. So little to complain about, so much to live for and still allowed to make so many mistakes. I feel for so many of the people who have posted on this site. Little snippets of their lives, small but genuine cries for help. I see so many of my own problems dotted throughout the posts and strangely I feel welcome here. If anything I have found inspiration, and take heart in the fact that I still care - if not for myself then at least for others. My thanks to those who have opened your hearts. If I have any advice to give, this is it: Don't give up. The darkness is that by which to measure the light. Only if you've experienced true suffering can you appreciate true happyness. A lot of people go through life experiencing neither. Also, try not predicting the future. That's a mistake I keep making. I'm not religious, nor do I believe in fate, but you cannot deny chance. Well, unless you commit suicide that is..
21 May 2010	Gabriel	DUDE, PLEASE DON'T! This may sound insane, but I hanged myself and was dead for 5 minutes. I was lucky to have my entire brain intact...I then went to the crazy house and learned coping skills. The first thought I had when I woke up in the hospital was, Praise God I'm alive." I have rapic cycling bipolar, so I truly understand what you're going through...I just would hate for you to die. Suicide seems like an option...but it will only cause more pain for everyone else. My mom found me in my room and was so freaked out...do you really want to put your family through that? They love you whether you believe it or not. And you have others that love you. Please seek help. There is to much death already...please don't add to it...I don't know you nut I do know that you are worth living, no matter how it feels right now. Don't turn out like me...
14 May 2010	sean	Better not. I have seen death, it is not pretty, and when you are close, you will wish you were far away again. There are better ways to deal with your pain and loneliness, or whatever it is that makes you consider killing yourself. And if you are young, consider this; school sucks for many of us. And things just get better once you have left. There are so many interesting things in the world, and so many people who need help. If you can't enjoy the beauty of it yourself, use your energy to help others who could were they not dying of starvation or sickness in some 3rd world country. The joy of helping others alone will fill the hole.
12 May 2010	grey	tears. they come and go. like storms. the raindrops. the falling water. the sorrow in the sky. the wail in the wind. the fierce emotion of storms very much alive. when i storm. i am alive. is that why. i cry. is sadness. a reminder of life. or. life a reminder of sadness. does sadness go away. with the tears. like the storm. it can only cry so much. til it gets worn out. crying. the clouds. the clouds you see. they still want to cry. and cant. is that not sad. am i like that. why can't i cry. has the storm passed. or. have i run out of rain. storming. where is cover. i am soaked in tears. no shelter. i must endure. why. cold. so cold. why not end and give. why live. so cold. so wet. the storm only lets when it has no tears. its emotion still roars in its belly. why live. storm seems like only weather. why go on. is there more. where is she. the sun. my promise. my. my. emotion. my other emotion. where is she. an end is not physical. the mind. it wont let go. instinct is a second person. i am gray. like the storm. transitory. not dark. not light. in transiton. mixed state. i am. both. live and dead.
03 May 2010	Auriol	There is no best way to kill yourself! Why would you want to anyway? You might feel miserable at the moment, but you don't have a crystal ball, you can't see into the future. How do you know you don't have a very happy future ahead of you? When I was in my early teens I was unhappy for various reasons (I won't bore you with the details). I remember feeling that nothing would change, that I had years of feeling unhappy ahead of me, that life sucked. But you know what? Time moves on and things change - things ALWAYS change and life gets more interesting and more enjoyable again. You'll meet someone special one day and wonder why on earth you ever even thought of killing yourself. Another thing: I won't bring God into this because you may not believe in God; instead I'll just say the universe has a way of evening things up, of getting a balance. So this is your unhappy time, but that will balance out - this is the way things work. Plus some day the very fact that you're alive may be very important to someone else - you might save someone's life or be able to help someone in some other way, you might be the one person who somebody else trusts or loves or looks up to. Do you want to miss that chance? Please, anyone contemplating suicide, don't do it. People care, well, most people anyway. There is always a reason to live, it's just sometimes not immediately obvious.
30 Apr 2010	...	am a 17 year old girl in fostercare i took an overdose in november not to die but to take the pain i have a way it didnt work i just ended up in hospital when i got out i made an impulsive decision to join the army i signed up got frew my barb test and interveiw but failed my medical because of the over dose just think if i didnt do that i could have been in the army by now i regret it every day i am now on prozac and get counciling it helps but i live with the pain every day and think of my past its hard and everyone is the same i want to help other people in the futre who are just like my self i am going to become a nurse i hope thoughs who go on this padge read this and really think about why they came on this page every one has a chance i hope yous will do the right thing and seek help x
28 Apr 2010	Elsey	Whenever I hear about people committing suicide i feel extremely saddened,(not saying that i think it's ok) but, i realize that that person is no longer in pain anymore and it's weird I almost feel a relief for them. as much as i can feel extremely emotional and unstable the thought of killing myself never crosses my mind so this makes me think that although i feel like sometimes things are out of control and i'm by myself and crying alone that someone else has to be feeling worse than me or has more emotional pain than me which is hard to fathom but obviously that's because I haven't felt that kind of pain before. All i can say is that it's never too late to make yourself better even if you can't see the light. Happiness comes from within your mind and i can understand that some people have depression or other chemical imbalances that are different than mine and it makes them unable to control their thoughts or how they feel, but atleast you are aware of it. Although i can never understand completely how it feels to be so depressed you can't even really live, what always makes me come back to myself is meditation/yoga/reading/writing poetry. If you have nothing else and you feel like you have no one, why not learn about everything in the world or universe (cosmos), it makes you more knowledgeable and more understanding of everything that surrounds you, maybe even takes your mind off of unhappiness?
17 Apr 2010	Sapph0	Hi! I've read some of the stories here and believe me it's not worth it. Whatever your problems are, look around, there are more people having greater problems than you do. I thought about it before but maybe because I wasn't thinking of anything nor anyone but myself. I love my parents, my relatives and friends that's why I didn't do it. You have to be strong and prove to everyone that you can make it. If you have to fake your happiness, fake it till its real. You guys are still young, you will soon encounter so many great things as you go on with your life. Sometimes you stumble but it is a good thing because you learn through experiences and you become stronger. Whoever or whatever is the reason that you want to commit suicide is not worth it. You are far more greater than them. If its about your boyfriend/girlfriend, believe me you'll find greater someone in your life as you go on. If its about your family, so what? You have your own life. Don't mind them and do the things that you should do. If your parents think that you're a mistake then prove it to them and soon they will be proud of you. You just proved to them that you're wrong. It doesn't have to be the reason that you are doing it is for them but its for you alone. No one can drive your life but you. Mingle with friends to have an outlet! Go out! There are lots of things to do. Go on dating but be sure not to fall in love at the wrong person and number one rule for girls NEVER GET PREGNANT or else you won't enjoy life anymore. If you did, then go date again till you have overcome it. But if you get pregnant, do not commit abortion. Because then its just the same thing as going to hell. Come out of the gray area and see the world as black and white. God gave us our life and we do not have a right to take it away. Just abide in him and he will abide in you. Pray to him and whatever you ask, it will be done to you. I thought to myself when I want to commit suicide, I could encounter greater people, I could be someone. I'd like to see myself successful. I would like to prove to everyone that I am someone whom they could be proud of. That I am someone that no one can reach. Finish your studies and have a degree because that's what you need in life. Find a job, do business till you become rich and I tell you, life is so much fun! I've had problems and I sometimes think of taking my life away. I had taken pills the next day, I wake up again and life seems to be the same. I get myself drunk but the next day, same thing. It went on and on, and time will tell when you're sober. Life is not easy, but you can make it easy. It is still up to you. Until now, I still have problems.. problems come and go.. once you solve a problem here comes another. But you learn and sometimes your heart gets hard that you can't feel anything anymore. You become insensitive. Though you are still young and there will be greater problems that will tag along as you grow old. Be strong. Look up to God and pray to him that he may help you. There are times that you are sad, but cheer up. There's a long road ahead that you will be happy of. Wake up! Maybe your prince charming is just to see you. Life is also full of "WHAT IF's". I do have those issues, like what if I have talked to this guy, what if I did this and did that? Would life be easier? I tell you the answer, it is still you who can solve things. So what is the best way to kill yourself??? Look at around you, the people who will be left when you're gone, you will hurt them. And do not tell me that no one loves you because there is someone who loves all of us. GOD!!! When you kill yourself, it will just be worst because you will be in hell. So if you think the world that we live in is already hell. Think again, how worst will it be if you go to hell and there's no turning back. Life is a game. Life is unfair. Just go on, play the game. Hate the game and not the player. In short, life is not easy but life is worth living. Good luck guys! If I was able to overcome it, so do you. Who am I to be successful. Be a winner!! God Bless you all!

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