Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
25 Oct 2004 Phil Quite right Felicia! I speak from experience as I was the first contestant of the UK Big Brother to have gay sex on TV. It was in all the papers and I was denounced as a demon, so I drifted into a life of fantasy and boobies. It's a lot more interesting.
19 Oct 2004 phil ok i am 16 now i have been trying to commit suicide for a very long time i just failed my miserabley and started college doing the lowest levels i got beaten up my dad belittled by everyone i meet my x-girlfriend just broke my heart and it hurts like hell my dad is tryign to kick me out of my home with no money yet i still live i only live because their is nothing i can do about because i am just not strong willed enough to kill myself cus i am worried aboutwhat if it goes wrong i need to know how to kill myself painlessly and very succesfully
07 Oct 2004 Phil Oh no Mouche, it's still not letting me have a peek. Here's the latest:

"Expression 'doctor OR surgeon OR surgery' triggered 1 times, weighting -1"

What is going on? Did you leave your sex toys scattered around on the floor or something?
05 Oct 2004 Phil You know what Mouchette, whenever I try to access the kit via a library computer now, it always comes up with this:

Text download (TEXT, 25221 bytes) was restricted by the text censor rule 'Scan and block pornographic content'.

TextCensor Script 'Pornography' triggered with total weighting of 11:
Expression '(big OR fine OR great OR nice OR good OR massive OR huge OR beautiful) FOLLOWEDBY=2 (tits OR pair of tits OR cleavage OR boobs OR pair of jugs OR hooters)' triggered 1 times, weighting 2
Expression 'cock' triggered 1 times, weighting 1
Expression 'cock AND tits' triggered 1 times, weighting 1
Expression 'cock AND tits AND (nude OR sex)' triggered 1 times, weighting 1
Expression 'cum OR cumm' triggered 1 times, weighting 2
Expression 'cunt' triggered 1 times, weighting 2
Expression 'cunts' triggered 1 times, weighting 2

Now Mouchette, I don't know what has been going on lately within the suicide kit, but surely it hasn't turned into a porn fest overnight?
29 Sep 2004 Phil Oooh dear, there seems to be something wrong with mouchette's sight. I think we'd better get a team of monkeys in there to find out the problem
27 Sep 2004 no hands Phil, if you're gay, why the fuck do you keep going on about tits????
24 Sep 2004 Phil Ooh Mouchette sent you a private page too, think yourself lucky. Mouchette has a harem of beautiful ladies (often with big breasts) but is very picky of who he chooses. If you got the "huge arse pressed up against the screen" page then think yourself a VIP. That was J-Lo's arse and she needed to have a shit at the time (I believe).
22 Sep 2004 the real slim shady wow, i'm confused to all the real people are on this sight.
phil, was that post about cooking the cat really by you?
and as for Flamer.... well, who knows about the real him. hahah...
21 Sep 2004 The real Phil But it's odd that you KNOW my insecurities, in general anyone I come into contact with knows nothing about me and they don't understand me. Somehow, you know something about the situation... I can't quite figure out how though.
18 Sep 2004 Phil Oh go to bed Flamer, I dont listen to a poo nurse. The poo nurse is always the underexperienced, badly paid, smelling-of-shit nurse in the Doctors Surgery that examines peoples bottoms for lumps and poo problems. They are not qualified enough to speak about real medical and mental problems, and we have a classic case of one here. Although they always think of themselves as a propper doctor. Go away now, I believe there is an old man with the most crinkly bottom you will ever see that needs his hole widening.
18 Sep 2004 crackerjack Dear Phil,
I'm sorry to hear about your condition. Heheh, I find it amusing how you said about it not being a sexy condition, just one that no one knows much about. Well, as chances would have it, I know a lot about a lot of conditions... but SAD is one... well, that no one knows much about :-)
However, you CAN get it treated, and in my opinion you, like everyone else here, should go about find treatment. There are some things people can't deal with by themselves. It's as simple as that. We aren't properly adapted to just how complex our society is and so we have problems just living in it normaly. We are stressed out, mal-adjusted, aggressive, uncaring, disorientated being, trying and ultimately failing to find meaning in our own lives. Who has real meaning in their life? Almost no one. And to make matters worse there are literally billions of rules, crossing and recrossing all around you, forcing you to conform into a particular way. Think about it... if you need to go to the toilet, why don't you just go in your pants right now? If you just need a pee, it literally won't do any harm... so why don't you? Because of the rules of society. Every single step you take and move you make, every thought you think is dictated by these rules. Now, I'm not saying that's bad or good, it just "is". Also the fact that humans aren't adapted to deal with it "is".
So basically what I'm saying is no one should feel ashamed of thier problems, and no one should try to deal with them by themselves, because the average person is strechted to their limit just surviving.
16 Sep 2004 Phil It is Social Anxiety Disorder or others call it Social Phobia. I have Depression on top of it plus other smaller problems. So, not one of those sexy illnesses like Scizophrenia or whatever, just one that no one knows much about.
16 Sep 2004 crackerjack Dear Phil,
I was wondering what your mental illness actually is?
14 Sep 2004 Phil Hmm I wish I was bisexual, but no I'm full-blown gay. Strangely, it doesn't really bother me, as I am already an outcast for my 'other' problems... some guys get suicidal for being gay, but I get suicidal from having mental illness. I wish I was the opposite though. Plus I suppose I may have an obsession with boobies, if Lucy Cortina is anything to go by.
01 Sep 2004 Gilat Dear Phil,
No, the world hasn't gone gay, it's gone "metrosexual".
Does anyone else think it's weird how when guys act more "gay"er women are more attracted to them? Like... gay guys get more women... hmmm, there's something wrong there, I can't quite work out what it is...
29 Aug 2004   wowowowow!
what a great sight.... do you reckon mouchette is like a necrophile or something?
21 Aug 2004 Phil You know crack, they sell something called "Dr Brain's Pork Faggots" in the supermarkets here in Tealand. I think they are some sort of meatball type foodstuff. Yum yum.
18 Aug 2004 Harry Potter AHAHAHA!!
you're a gas, Phil!
but... I did notice some similarities in your list.
As for Britany, I think you'll just have to hit her... one more time.
More magic! I love magic!
15 Aug 2004 Phil Congrats Harry! There really are easier ways to do it though...
1. Get your tits out
2. Get your tits out
3. Get your tits out

(As a matter of interest, would Britney get her 'titneys' out?)
15 Aug 2004 Phil Ha, that's ok crack. Any excuse for me to get in a mention of Lucy, you understand...

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