Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
10 Oct 2003 billy I tried to stample my balls to a wall and tried to run
15 Sep 2003 Felicia Lucy Cortina,
I am real. Real as you can ever be. Don't leave the world yet in such a dramatic fashion. I have been submitting manuscripts to publishers, which is more suicidal. All the coffee in the world does not make me a better writer. In fact, since my brain is empty, which is more often than usual, I can tell you that indeed I'm all flesh and bones here. If you are leaving for sure, be sure to email me. And Billy, if you know a few one liners, send more to make the world chuckle and laugh.

Lucy Cortina, please I don't know you, but all of us in Mouchette love you.
03 Jun 2003 Lucy Cortina A friend of mine was discussing with me last night, apart from "boobies", forms of suicide. She thinks that getting a gun and shooting yourself will work. Then she paused and said, "But won't you go to jail for attempting to murder... YOURSELF?!" Stupid, stupid, I know!
Then her mummy said "You would be locked up in a secure mental hospital".
So there's my answer, huh.

Oh Felicia, how I feel for you. But I won't be feeling for your boobies. It's always been said that the American population (bar actors/resses, popstars and TV presenters) are officially obese. Obese boobies, however, is a great thing. It's a pity that Icecream wasn't injected into them instead.
When I was anorexic and my arms got very thin, I just replied: "Missy Elliott sat on them!"
As for Billy, alas.
Face down chanting "...and then they hit me!" (meaning my.. er, 'bombs') in a pub is no doubt his current location.
28 May 2003 just a girl "the bold and the oh-so beautiful"

Although my sick days off from skool usually consist of my head being stuck half way down the toilet puking my stomach lining up.. while trying to get over my hangover of prozac and vodka from the previous nights madness (and they all wonder why im so loathsome and obnoxious when the sun goes down.. does the word 'psychosis' mean anything to you people?).. i realised my sick days could offer me so much more..

One morning shortly after i had finished my 'breakfast' (a sweet mixture of vodka, gin, bourbon and a touch of schnapps.. which i like to call 'hells cocktail').. on a sick day i had taken sometime this week (more puking is no doubt soon to follow).. i thought to myself.. and i wondered.. what i could do to make the time pass by.. although mummy's drawer of intensely brutal sharp coloured objects and the bathroom’s cabinet of anonymous friends kept in tiny bottles with Hollywood titles such as "keep out of reach of children" (luckily im not a child anymore) were looking impressively pleasurable.. i turned to once again my god.. the television..

Approaching my realisation that it was indeed mid-week and only those shows intended for knocked-up teenage gal’ hillbillies (consistently named 'ally-may') from microscopic towns with mismatched names such as Wisconsin and Alabama, who naively thought it was a good-idea-at-the-time thing to jump into the back of some redneck horny yobbo’s truck.. (also consistently named 'jake' or 'billy-bob') to shag and make the unborn-baby-that-never-stops-crying-no-matter-how-much-u-feed-it, that would inturn shape and commence the rest of their miserable lives in a caravan park watching shows on a t.v they can’t afford such as Jerry-Springer with ‘billy-bob’ on one tit and the baby-that-never-stops-crying-no-matter-how-much-u-feed-it on the other... (all the while they haven’t hit their 16th birthday yet)

Luckily… I have hit my 16th birthday (so that stereotypical scenario will never be possible).. and luckily I wasn’t born into this world with a name such as ‘ally-may’ (otherwise then I would really have a reason to kill myself! or just my parents for giving me such a horridly shameful name).. anyhow back to the point of this pointless anecdote, I flicked on my television to find something other than the likes of Jerry-Springer.. it was in fact.. The Bold and The Beautiful.. (commonly known as the bold and the oh-so beautiful) .. and it took only moments for me to apprehend that this inferior, shabby poor-excuse for a t.v show actually personified the useless pathetic life I live.. (without the multi six-layer makeup effect of course)... as I heard the words... “but ridge (what kind of a name is ridge anyway?) I LOVE YOU!”... says the blonde bimbo with the boobs oh-so-too-big for her body... “but u just slept with your daughter's husband!!!!”... says ‘ridge’ (doesn’t this guy know the 90’s hairstyle of a mullet is so outdated?)

Now I know I do not currently have a 90’s mullet hairstyle and did not.. I repeat.. did not.. have an affair with my daughter’s husband.. or my brother.. or my cousin.. or my father.. or anyone else for that matter! that these predominately sex-obsessed people did.. but I do know that the same problems I have in my life now.. will be there.. months.. and months.. later.. (for any bet I can turn on my t.v and tune into a bold and the oh-so beautiful episode six months later and still be able to follow on)...

As I come back into reality.. I think a thought and come up with a theory.. one that almost makes me want to head to that drawer or bathroom cabinet (plus I can feel hell’s cocktail rising ever so slowly in my stomach).. that we are all stuck in lives we can’t change and can’t stop... and can’t help being who we are...
Now of course we don’t wear multi-layer faces plastered with slimy swamp-thick makeup.. and haven’t had 101 facelifts and boobie-jobs (besides lucy) in one lifetime.. (nor do we fuck our fathers) but perhaps it should be said that possibly we are all just living out our own ‘the bold and the oh-so beautiful’ episodes everyday of our lives… and there is no escape... (suicide still rising to the top of my things-to-do list)

But remember peeps we are all much better actors than the ones being paid.... :)
29 Apr 2003 Billy tomorrow i go for my drug test and it will be my 4th violation and im aware of the court so im probably going back to jail and then to either a drug rehab or a group home and im only 13. i have bipolar disorder too and my parents argue all the time so that makes it worse. i think im going to take as much of my medication as i can consume and then slice my arteries in my legs and hang myself.
26 Nov 2002 billy (sorry) what else could i be, all apologise
what else could i write, i don't have the right. what else could i say, everyone is gay. what else could i be all apologise.

i wish i was like you, easily amused. find my nest of salt, everything's my fault. i'll take all the blame, aqua seafoam shame. sunburn with freezer burn, choking on the ashes of our enemies.

in the sun, in the sun i feel as one. in the sun. i'm married... burried.

all in all is all we all are.

kurt cobain
12 Nov 2002 billy i am back. i don't have an email any more, sorry i'll get one soon. thank you for your support lucy, jeanie, mouchette.

i didn't mean to stay away so long. i didn't mean to stay awake so long. when it comes down to it, i know you'll be there. when i come down from it, i know you'll be there. i'll see you soon. you'll see me soon.

mouchette if you don't believe it is me, you beta-test me.

08 Nov 2002 Jeanie So... Billy still gone after all this time. It's a shame really. I knew it was only a matter of time before he got lost in the bossom of the great and powerful Lucy... so Luc.. You bi or what? If ya are.. can ya let Billy out for a while so we can try out some of these freaky death suggestions :P... sounds like fun to me. you ain't got nothin wrong with an American chica do ya? We can compare extreem boob sizes.. I think mine just climbed to the DDDDDDDD mark. I'm thinkin about swimmin across the ocean and usin um for floaties... maybe I'll get eaten by a shark :D
02 Nov 2002 fan of Lucy (& Billy) oooh. i'm so sorry to disapoint you, Lucy, but i feel i should (i'm not sure why) reveal to you that i am female. and (unfortunately, in a way), American.. what would you say about that? lol. i like the idea of you and Billy creating a web site together. it would keep me laughing. i'm not sure if he's interested though, maybe you could whack his little tooshy with your wiggly jigglies, maybe will get his attention.
30 Oct 2002 fan of lucy (& billy) lol. lucy, u have good humor. i wish billy would come around more often and join us in this fabulous breast-fest. his only choice of activies was either this, or watching the britney spears concert.. i guess he picked the concert, eh billy? i know u are lonely, billy boy, come back to us.
26 Oct 2002 Jeanie Ahhh... so billy is under your bed eh? I was wondering where that fucker escaped to. My sexual prowess was too much for him i guess. Decided that he couldn't handle it so he ran away... I have got to change the locks on my closet door.
24 Oct 2002 I am the great cornholyo I keep noticing that the more I come... the more people seem to stop coming. I guess some people actually serious about this suicide stuff... eeek. Scary though... nice to know most of you people just talk about religion and poopie... he he. And where the hell did Billy go?
28 Sep 2002 Juicy Cortina Ps - Billy, stop stealing my panties!! I'm too poor to afford washing powder. The stains I find on them are atrocious!
24 Sep 2002 billy when i was a young one, weed, didn't know what it was. then i realized i should always stay high, the weed makes me happy alright, and if you feel like i feel, i got half on your dime.

twenty dollar hollas all day every day, come around my way, you will want to stay. cause the weed makes me happy and hungry is all i can say. fall asleep between the sheets catch me, mary jane bless me.
14 Sep 2002 billy -pillhead violet!...why are you such a pillhead?
-what do you mean, why am i such a pillhead. come here mother fucker! i'll kill you...
-you don't you? well, i don't know why i slept with you, and get the hell off my one nut.

14 Sep 2002 pillhead Violet Billy when we slept together it was very lovely. although I was a bit disappointed with your 1 ball.
31 Aug 2002 billy pittsburgh pa slang: that's what i'm talking about jeanie, that's my girl dog, lighting up the skies babe. yeah! hell yeah!!!

translation: i agree one hundred percent with what jeanie says, and further more wish her the best of luck.
29 Aug 2002 odd_orange Lucy, i applaude you for your Aug. 26 entry.. i agree with you. i only wish kelly, and others like kelly, that they also agree with you.
Billy, don't fret, i thought your story on the old poeple home was excellent, just the same as your other ones are. perk up pookey ;)
29 Aug 2002 billy you know i didn't get the response i wanted from my last entry. why can't i spread my wings and get the same damn feedback. am i destined to write horrible little comedy quips, for the rest of my life? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!
you know lucy, you are absolutely right. no matter what goes on in my life, i always make time to check out mouchette.

this is a shout out to gloria, without you i would never have this thorn in my side
27 Aug 2002 suicidalgirl420 Billy, team death is a website i stumbled upon one day that makes up funny and creative ways to kill yourself. I also wanted to tell you that i loved the story about you and your girlfriend. it's so true what you say, i've seen it happen so many times before. It's amazing how the power of drugs will change someone's mood so quickly.

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