Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
09 May 2002 Lucy Cortina Mouchette *flutters eyelids, sticks out nungas* can I ask you just one question?
Do you live in France?
05 May 2002 Lucy Cortina (the new Shakira) PPS- What sort of a name is Herbert Egg?!!
04 May 2002 Herbert Egg Hello Lucy Cortina I just wondered if you would ever fancy a date with me?
I am gorgeous, tanned and sexy - you can wiggle ur ass in my face anytime u like girl!
I love Madonna too, spiky bra - do u have one?
19 Apr 2002 Lucy Cortina Can someone please french me up?
By the way, whoever it was who used my name on some poem about chips and cod or summat, it wasn't me.
13 Mar 2002 objective observer I was reading your favorite entries and I see you posted many from Lucy Cortina. A LOT actually.

Well I didn't mean to cause such consternation with my objective observer entry. How could I have predicted anyway? Truth is I am just some dude who was screwing around.

Mouchette you ARE INNOCENT!

Now, while I have got your attention there is one thing which bothers me about this site and that is giving dangerous advice on how to commit suicide. Could you post a category on how not to commit suicide or something? Do you really want a 12 year old to drink drano (which is painful and should NOT be done)?
08 Mar 2002 mouchette I would beg, if I feel like it. But only in my own name, not in somebody else's.

Now Lucy Cortina, if you can write good stories (with a title) write them, otherwise shut up! It's not a good place here for arguing and getting personal attention. Suicide candidates are not in the mood for that ...
08 Mar 2002 Lucy Cortina Still not convinced.. it wasn't so long ago you begged me to come back, and self conceited? I'm too young to understand such a fancy word! Ok, time for a dictionary...
08 Mar 2002 mouchette Non.
I wouldn't go into such tricks. This is my own board and I don't need to pretend I'm someone else to write what I want. I sign with my name and email cos' I'm the boss.
Aren't you being a bit self-conceited Lucy Cortina?
08 Mar 2002 Lucy Cortina HEY MOUCHETTE! Ok, I may have a brain as large as an orange, but I have finally worked out that 'Objective observer' was YOU! Eh? Trying to provoke a reaction from me cos I wasn't posting for such a long time, non?
03 Mar 2002 Lucy Cortina And something else... Dr. Harold Shipman, I live quite near to you.
03 Mar 2002 Lucy Cortina PS - Observer... I very much doubt that you could even observe whether or not breast implants lurk behind Britney Spears' nunga nungas.
02 Mar 2002 Objective Observer Not all of your emails labeled Lucy Cortina are from her... An imposter is afoot.
01 Mar 2002 Lucy Cortina Mouchy... pleeeeeease put up the recent entries.... i need a good laugh right now..
24 Feb 2002 Lucy Cortina A large pair of... ******, Mouch. Or in other words my nunga nungas. If you're comparing me to my aunt Fanny, then I guess I would be beautiful. You can see her nunga nungas when she takes her shoes off! I think I may recommend that she goes for some reductions.
23 Feb 2002 To Lucy Cortina A large pair of what? Tits?
Is that what makes you beautiful?
And happy too!!?!?!!?!!?!!!
Is that the answer?
(I should've known...)
23 Feb 2002 Lucy Cortina Mouchette darling, do not despair - I'm still here and I've got a large pair.
(I've always been krap at poetry). Anyways, I will get back to business as soon as my UHM (Ugly home membership) has expired.
12 Feb 2002 Mouchette herself Lucy Cortina!!!


Are you sick or something?... Why don't you post your daily joke here? You didn't commit suicide, did you? If this is the case, I going to kill myself as well, so you're warned!

Come back now, and stop pretending, k?
02 Feb 2002 Lucy Cortina Well well well... I see there's been a few dog fights here. Deary me. Honestly, this is a civilised website, you should be ashamed of yourselves!
No jokes today Mouchette, sorry. I need to put my thinking cap on and come up with something. Can't have you dying on us now, can I? Something funny I saw on Tv last night though: there was this talkshow about sexual 'experiences'. A man was on, claiming his g/friend chained him to a bed with handcuffs. She then came in with some baby oil, and hit him on the ass, saying "You naughty boy!!" then when he turned around to look, it was his girlfriend's mum! hahaha
02 Feb 2002 The Real Mouchette Just to let you know who the Real Boss Here is, I even publish some crap from people pretending to be me (see below). No, I'm not closing down my site. Not in the near future.
And as long as Lucy Cortina writes her daily story, I shall want to live one more day to know what she will write next.

I want to remind every reader of the Suicide Kit board that everything here is published by hand by someone who reads it, occasionally corrects some typos and puts it online (or not). Ok?
And this person is Me: The Real Mouchette.
02 Feb 2002 The boss here Just to let you all know, I will be closing down my site within the next 2 months. What do you think of that, Lucy Cortina? I would like to say I am very pleased with the success of my website these past few years, but the time has come for me to move on. THANKYOU ALL!!!

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