Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
28 Jul 2006	scors.b	Love to you all. Take care, generally. signed, me. (Still alive).
28 Jul 2006	LIFE IS SHIT!!!	Life is shit And it hurts The pain is so unbelievably deep That I don’t know how of rid my tears Of what my heart is going through. Life is shit But I’ve been through it before So why haven’t I learned That I am no one’s somebody He says don’t worry You’re beautiful and that someone out there wants you It’s just not me But how does he know that I’m not meant to be alone Because it seems that I know that I’m not meant to be with someone And what about her? She would die if she knew I dreamt about her Life is shit Because I can’t make up my mind about who I am going to love Though it should make no difference Because no one loves me. My life has been shit Because he told me loved me then he turned around Got on top of me and ruined my life My life is shit Because he took her away from me The one person Who I prayed to him about The person Who made me realize that I am someone special He took her away And now he wants to take everything away My dignity, my loves that don’t exist My life But I’m not ready to die But my heart is ready And has been for some time It has died so many times before Why not again? It’s not as if I did not expect to get hurt this summer It was something that was destined to happen I get hurt wherever I go And I always find someone like you Who just wants to turn me away And you said you were always the one that was rejected Well good for you Now you get to do the rejecting It must make you feel just great But I know that it doesn’t You told me that this also hurt you But am I wrong to think that you could not possibly understand my pain in this situation? Life is shit Because it always gets you from behind and stabs you in the back Life is not worth it If I keep getting hurt I always say This time it’s different This time he really does like me But all those times and this time They all end the same He rejects And turns away I cry He asks why And I try to explain That I have never been the one To go to the movies I’ve always been the class joke The one to point at and laugh at The one that people dared other people to ask out I’ve been the class outcast But I’ve never been the Eliza Doolittle I’ve never been admired from afar, or from up close either I’m no one They told me before Why didn’t I listen? I didn’t listen because I had dreams I had dreams of being chosen among all of them I had dreams that I was beautiful I had dreams that I didn’t know what it was to cry or to feel the pain That can only be seen or felt by the edge a razor against my smooth skin I've loved so many And I’ll love many more But they will never love me back Why can’t I be adored just once in my life Just once It’s not really all that much to ask for I could have loved him I could have been loyal I could have loved him even from so far away But he could never have loved me Not even just for a second So why did I even dream that he could? Life is shit Because I could love her But she Could never love me Life is shit Because Who I love will lead me to trouble My friends will leave They will think I dream about them What little they know about me. Life is shit Because I yearn to feel the blood drip down my arm again I yearn to yell and scream at the world Why is my life just one big nothing? Why can’t I be loved too? Why me? I had dreams You don’t think I didn’t dream of being a star Of singing to the world Or sharing my passions with the world I guess not huh? I wanted the money, the glory, and the spotlight I wanted it all What is it all? Is it love, and trust and family Love? Well I don’t have that Trust? Sometimes Family? One that supports me? I have half of one Happiness? I did You made me happy I smiled so much The first time in a long time But you have taken that away now And I don’t know how to get it back Maybe I want to see you And think of turning away But you’ll stop me And take me in you arms And tell me that you do love me Just not like that You’ll hug me And say that everything will be alright You’ll still wave at me And I will know that I can be happy again But are those realistic dreams? Are you a realistic friend? One that I can always count on? You say that you are But I haven’t felt that warmth yet That embrace That seals the deal Please Be there for me When times Are low Even when You’re far away Be there That way I’ll know that I can be happy again Life is shit Because I don’t trust myself to give this to you So you will know how I feel Because I don’t want to scare you off again Because you are so important to me And I know that I am nothing to you Life is shit Because after four pages of this poem I still cry. I cry tears that I didn’t know existed I cry tears that have been waiting for seventeen long and painful years Life is shit Because no one understands The pressures that I feel The stress That goes along With being A semi closeted Bisexual Life is shit Because I don’t even understand The pressures and the stress that lay before me Because of the lifestyle choice that I have maid Life is shit Because I never listen I never give up I always push too hard I pushed too hard this time And I pushed you away They say don’t look back But I know what lies ahead And I would rather look back than look to a dreary future I would rather fall in love thousands of times And not be loved back than to not love at all Life is shit Because after five pages of this poem I still cry. And I still yell and I still want to be mad at you But how could I ever be really mad at you I don’t know how I ever was Life is shit Because I cant find another word One that is more suitable One that’s not so offensive But life is offensive And throws punches at you when you are not ready So what do I do now? Do I just go on with my life and pretend That none of this happened? Do I hide away my tears so no one sees them so you don’t see them Or do I weep openly in you arms? I’ve waited so long to find someone life you And I can’t let you go Even when I think that letting you go will let me off the hook with all this hurt and pain Life sucks Is that a better word I don’t know You tell me Life sucks Because it always has And I don’t know how to get it to not Suck Life is life It hands you what you need to be handed But did I really need to be handed This? Did I? Really? Well I don’t agree I don’t think That I had to have all of this hurt in my life A little bit? Sure That’s ok But this much Over and over and over again? No one should ever have to go through that I shouldn't have had to go through that Life is shit Because after six pages I cant seem to end this damn poem Life is shit Because after six pages I still cry.
28 Jul 2006	Girl from UK	Im an english girl, aged 21. My close friend took alot of tablets the other day. It was totally unexpected. I knew she had issues and I tried to help but this? I was just searching on the net about how to deal with it and about depression and got onto this site. Iv been reading entries for the last 2 hours and the stories are truly heart wrenching. I know alot of you dont want sympathy you just want to be wanted etc. I wish I had the power to take all your pain away but thats not possible. Im no agony aunt but if ant of you want to speak to an english girl and you just want a chat email me. ps The entry that 'ugly girl' posted at the beginning of july was truly touching and you are very talented. I know the subject of which you are writing about isnt nice but you describe it so well and the poetry was amazing and im no grade A english student. anyway im off. Reading this has been such an eye opener and I hope you can all find some happiness in your life.
28 Jul 2006	meghan	i know how this stuff works, right now im trying to kill my self but it just wont work! the love of my life just broke up with me and everyone hates me! i dont understand why but ive actually made a list of ways im gonna start trying to kill my self! i just cant talk life anymore! i mean whats the point of living if you dont feel alive! everyone just wnt understand my problems and i just can take life anymore
28 Jul 2006	Kasey---Death till the battle ends	There isn't a best way to be honest. I'm 13 (14 in a week but) I've tried it. I still don't know the real purpose on why I do it...it's an adiction to me. My mom thinks I'm a druggie and that landed me 2 pills from dying when I was 12. Suicide if it was right for you than you would know what is the best way. I've watched my friends die from it and my best friend from homicide...my world is gone basiclly. I know it's tuff living life and wanting to die everyday but if you were suposed to you'd know what to do.I know what to do but I can't let my boyfriend and my newphew down.Go with what your heart is telling you and if it is right you know how to do it.
27 Jul 2006	lorna	when i was 13 many times in tried to kill myself frm cuttin myself, pill overdoses to wlkin in front of a car. bt they neva wrkd!!! im nw 16, i gt help tho n nw im ok n really want to live. killin urself is nt the answer to anythin no matter hw bad u feel there is always a way ot, i promise. if ne1 jst wants to chat or feels bad jst add me iluvu4uraqt_123@hotmail.com n we cn tlk. i wnt judge u, im jst trying to help. pls tlk instead of killin urself!!!
27 Jul 2006	sas	dear who eva wants to listen wen i was yunger even before primary school i had been bashed by my older brother. then it was just starting as shuving and hitting but as we got older it started to become a mager isue in my life fisicaly and even more so emotionaly. i would come to school everyday realived to get away from home although my life in school was one of the worst in all the worst in all the other student i was a very very shy little girl and didnt make friends easaly and unforchunatly the other kids not noing any beter bulied and piked on me all throught primary school. at night wen i went to bed i would lay there and cry almost every night i cooldnt get to sleep and when i did i i woke up constantly during the night. when i was 4 or 5 i had noticed the razer in the shower and had wondered wat they were for for a long time. then wen i was just twelve i aredy new wat they were for but i discovered another use for it not noing about the proper concept of suiced and all that shit becouse i had all but no friend n teachers dont tell you about these thing i took the blade and made i small insision into my leg ujnsaticfied and intreaged i did it again even deaper i contiues uncontroebly until my hole right leg was full of deep cuts afterweres as i was trying to stop the bleeding with a hole role of toilet paper i cryed and realised the extent of wat i had done. falling asleep that night was easy as i past out about 2 hours after my act i prosume it was due to servire blood lose. but thankfuly i woke up the next moring covered in blood. i removed my sheet and lukely i had a plastis coting under it. i cryed at the grusem sight of the emout of blood that was sitting onto of it i felt like wat i had dont wasnt reel. i plased the sheets in a plasic bad then in my bakpak and disposed of it in the lake. i went to school with nobody noing wat i had don and nothing changed. a few weeks l8ter i did it again rite after my brother ponched me giving me a big bruse and allthough he'd done worse this just set me off and i went out of my mind again and made to deep slits on my uper arm. still nothing changed. to this day i still have surver skaring from those tow and more times i have endolged in those acts but wen i got to high scool i made friends and slowly started to change i became less shy and more happy i now feel disabled in the fact that i cant go swimming with my friend or wear shorts or tshirts but i have cept my secret prity well with only a cople of people seeing but theve been nice about the hole situation. my brother has stopt his ways and now become to buisy with schoolo work n shit to pay atention to me. anyway the point to my story is that no mater how harshly the world treets u theyl always be something good to wait for in the futuer and wen i think about wat couldhave happend that first night i start to cry becoze i love my life now and i cant imagin not having to chance to live it. ive seen alot m,ore things then ive recorded here and even now there are a few mager lows going on that just make me want to cut myself and so i do but i wouldnt dare cut to deep
26 Jul 2006	victor	there is no best way. i`m 47 and have thought of it often through my life. i`m thinking about it right now. yes, it would be a very selfish thing to do. but if you find yourself at 47 years old, and friends you can count on one hand, and only need one finger... then you stop and think. you look in the mirror. you know how others see you.you see what you are as well.you may say i tried, crap! i failed. my life sucks! at 47 i would love a chance to go back in time at the same time wishing i were gone. 47 is old and worn out for some of us, but 13 is glory in it`s youth! dont be selfish child! i will hold on as long as i can, and if i choose to take my life away, it was selfish. i had to find peace.
26 Jul 2006	Steph	I know what it feels like. It feels like you will never be able to express all that you want to in words. It feels like the people that make your life miserable, will never get what they deserve or realize what they have done. Suicide isn't a way to make them realize that. Be the better person. Suicide is not selfish, it's selfish to want to keep miserable people alive just so YOU wont be hurt by their actions. But still, suicide wont solve anything. If there is no afterlife, a life of misery is better than none at all. You have 80 years to live probably, you wont know if it gets better until it all ends on its own, and if you ask me, it's worth the wait.
25 Jul 2006	gemma	The best way to kill yourself when you're under 13...I wouldn't know. I've tried trust me...it's impossible. With the pressure that parents put on you what else is there for? I mean if you can't look to your parents to believe in you and they're always putting you down and when you turn to the one person that's meant to help you through all the pain and agony and all they do is make your life even more miserable then what is there left to do other than kill yourself???
25 Jul 2006	HATERFOREVER	POST THIS ONE MOUCHETTE!!!!!!!! It's all right to be filled with hate, people are stupid!!!!! so what if i hate??? if you don't like my posts don't read them for fuck sake!! I love to write. I used to hate writing with a passion, when I was in high school. In fact, I often couldn’t do it. “Write a story,” they would say. About what? Whatever you like. Three words that struck terror in my heart. You mean, make something up? Be creative? I can’t do that.! when i was younger i do enjoy WRITEING NOW !! LOL!!! hate people. More specifically, I hate people who are stupid, self-centred or have no character. And at one time or another, you could fit anyone into one of these categories - yes, including myself! - so there you go. I don’t think those criteria are unreasonable but I suppose they are pretty unrealistic. Anyway I spend quite a bit of time alone. Like now, when I’m toying with the idea of going out but where, and with whom?????????????????????????????
25 Jul 2006	HATERFOREVER	It's all right to be filled with hate, people are stupid!!!!! so what if i hate??? if you don't like my posts don't read them for fuck sake!! I love to write. I used to hate writing with a passion, when I was in high school. In fact, I often couldn’t do it. “Write a story,” they would say. About what? Whatever you like. Three words that struck terror in my heart. You mean, make something up? Be creative? I can’t do that.! when i was younger i an NOW !! LOL!!! hate people. More specifically, I hate people who are stupid, self-centred or have no character. And at one time or another, you could fit anyone into one of these categories - yes, including myself! - so there you go. I don’t think those criteria are unreasonable but I suppose they are pretty unrealistic. Anyway I spend quite a bit of time alone. Like now, when I’m toying with the idea of going out but where, and with whom?????????????????????????????
25 Jul 2006	Dave Marshall	I was diagnosed with depression last january 2005 and since then things just seem to be getting worse i lost my dad on the 8th of may this year which was hard enough but about 5weeks ago my wife of 9years left me and took my kids with her now all iwant to do is die plenty of people keep telling me to be strong and things will get better but i am sorry i just dont see it myself. I cant eat or sleep properly she wants me out of the house so that she can sell it but i have nowhere that i can go i came to this town because my wife lived here so i lost touch with the few friends that i had along time ago and now i just feel like i am sinking furter into depression i have tried a few overdoses but they have just made me ill and miss work because i was so sick that now i might lose my job due to so much time off work so you see that suicide looks like the best option at the moment has everyday seems more pointless than the last and i seem to have lost my will to go on i know that you are a stranger but none of the people round me know what i am going through and hopefully you wont judge me for the way i am feeling
24 Jul 2006	cyndi	Hey. Guys? Gals? The sigh and the blood dripping is a little over the top. Unless you want me to feel as if I just killed a child living inside of a computer program. I'm into guilt trips - why not add one more wacky one? Boy, it reminds me of some of the head trips I heard about in psych class. Did you know that gmail never throws anything out? And, they may have access to my complete goofy letters to everyone else when I used different email programs. Do you work for NSA? Are you part of Bush's homeland security? Now, I really don't like the blood dripping on the screen. And I don't like the little boy crying and dying. It's a lie. Unless there really are ghosts in my computer (that darn transference again), but if there are, how can they be killed when they are already ghosts? Transference aside, though, it really is tacky. Did you want anyone with a brain to take you seriously and respect your bandwidth? Now, I'm getting witchy. Will you be telling me to take an anger management class soon - people aren't supposed to express dissatisfaction; are we? Have fun being objective. I'm sure it's a lofty career. Oh, by the way, I'm a little obsessive-compulsive. And you're a program. Hooked up to a bunch of cogs. I might visit you every day. Did you have to consult a lawyer before putting up this site? Do you understand the basics of journalism so that when you edit messages you do not cause libel against any entity? Curiosity killed a cat. Which one of us will ... shhhhhhhhhhhh
24 Jul 2006	cyndi	Why, hello again. How about a disclaimer. :) Disclaimers can come in handy. :) Next - there's a little story that I learned about. It was about fish. A lady at a pet store - you know - a lady who keeps the fish in the tank so that she can sell them to whoever for whatever reason they have - told me how nosy people called researchers did all sorts of experiments on the fish to see if fish feel pain. Have you ever seen a fish out of water? The fish look happy to you? Well, these researchers know better than to trust something as simple as observing a fish out of water. They had to go the extra mile and devise experiments to see if fish feel pain. I don't know what the experiments were. But the researchers gathered lots and lots of data. Data was very important while they performed many, many kinds of experiments on the fish. In the end, even though anyone who is not blind can watch a fish out of water flop all over the place gasping for air, the researchers concluded that fish feel no pain. But, data - ah - data is important. So, to cheer myself up, I sometimes envision doing experiments on researchers, or whoever allows things that aren't quite kosher (kosher - that's a rule about not causing animals pain even if it is only suspected pain or doing things like tricking or lying to innocent people), to see if they feel pain. Sometimes that cheers me up. But, it is not a nice thought. But, it does cheer me up for some reason. Until it just makes me wonder more and more and more. Fish. Who's the fish?
24 Jul 2006	cyndi	Gee - are you gonna put my email and name on the web page? I may have had a lightbulb go off. Maybe your website is to allow someone to talk about their pain and suicidal ideation in such a way that has been declared legal. But, this is a tricky idea in my head. Because, everyone knows that web pages that become the happenstance of suicide pacts have become an international concern - Japan for some reason having the highest problem with this. Maybe you're trying to help somehow. I don't know. But, if you really want to help, legislation of some sort needs to be passed to free clinicians to do their jobs without locking people up. Obviously, if someone poses a threat to someone else or to a child, that makes sense to lock them up. But, the police in their police science classes have been taught that suicidal people are on the same coin as homicidal people. I haven't done the research, so I can't argue with them. But, I've heard stories about those tender-hearted missionaries of justice and how they crack jokes about the "crazies" who attempt suicide, be it a scratch with a pencil or something deeper. I know that cops have hard jobs, but they could use some enlightenment. Another group that needs release are clinicians themselves. They get burned out with suicide attemptees. Of any age! Once someone attempts suicide, their interest rate, on the whole - not in particular, goes down for that individual. It's a way of distancing themselves. Am I BoThErInG you? Well, you wanted feedback - right? Do you think that because I'm not 13, in case you haven't guessed yet, that you can't get some decent feedback? Do you really, really want me to tell some kid who pops onto this board how to kill him or herself? Maybe you pull out the bonafide sure proof ones - heck I don't know what you're fishing for. No one has the money to hunt down suicidal kids and lock them up if they post comments into your web page. Here's a suggestion. Help the scardy cats who don't want to kill themselves, but are in so much pain that they just might do so, know who to talk to in person. Getting personal for just a moment, I was scared to call a suicide hotline once because I was afraid they'd trace my call and put me in lock up. So, I went to a pay phone and called. The fellow was so good. He assured me that they didn't have a budget to trace calls especially from phone booths since it was all volunteer. And, he talked to me like a person, not as if he was reading from a script. I have lots of suicidal ideation. It is hard to keep it to my chest. If this website is for the purpose of giving kids a place to vent that ideation, then maybe you are attempting something good. But, if they are a little off, and truly in pain, with no feedback, they may rely on their introspection alone, and too much introspection can go south - You need a link for some sort of obvious support. Someone is allowing this site... i'll probably visit again.
24 Jul 2006	cyndi	I know that this page is illegal if it is at all sincere. So, you are the one playing the cruel trick. There is a very real problem for both patients and clinicians (let's not even get into law enforcers or clergy) regarding suicide ideation. The entire problem hinges on the law that if a person presents himself or herself to be a danger to self or others, a clinician must report the person for lock up. Whoever is behind this website should be ashamed of themselves, because you're not going to help reduce this catch 22. Patients need to discuss suicidal ideation. Clinicians (clergy and law enforcers, etc.) must make judgement calls about when they have to lock someone up or else they run the risk of losing their licenses. There needs to be a loosening of this ridiculous law, so that people with suicide ideation can start to get it out of their system and get to the roots of their sadness. In Great Britain, efforts have been made with the Samaritans (who by the way are accessible to people outside of their juridiction via the internet). But, they must follow a script which doesn't allow the person contacting them the release they need. In addition, the States have various suicide hotlines, and they too, for the most part, are trained to use a script. But, in some cases, they will fudge on this rule a little bit if they feel they can provide a listening ear. But, what really needs to happen is for some sort of legislation which will free the proper mental health care provider to do their job. What would happen if someone with a heart condition was told at the onset, "If you tell me about any symptoms where you feel pain in your chest, neck, or arms, I'll have to lock you up"? Pretty obvious, huh? So, whatever the point of this web page is, I think that you should 'fess up and play straight. Any one who's ever been to a shrink knows the drill.
24 Jul 2006	marcos	metiendome en una piscina, y quedandome dormido...
24 Jul 2006	Terri	There is no best way. My grandfather killed himself last year. He was 58 and even that was too young. Suicide is not the answer. Our whole family is so screwed up now (even more than before). Think.
24 Jul 2006		whats the best way to kill yourself?? Just Change your identity.?? then you would be dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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