Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
02 Aug 2006	GOD**<<	onli a crazy bitch would wanna die at the age of thirteen now forteen on the other hand might be ok but onli if your name is jon Carmona the third and then it would be ok to kill yourself because your worthless and no one likes you other then someone very stupid named sara but if your anyone else dont do it you can meake a difference and not be worthless so dont commit suicide because i know everything anf its not the right thing to do and yes thATSmeans im and....GOD**<<
02 Aug 2006	sas	Precious You have chosen to open my book In my mind you are taking a look You have opened it up costing me to bleed Bleed these words written in my plead These words are written in my blood My blood is black black absorbed from dark hollowness inside me So as you read this momentous book Just remember I put my hart into it Take good care of it please Nothing The salty liquid falls down my cheek Falling down as I follow I have fallen from my peak And now my tears will shed as my eyes leak Leaking till there’s nothing left Till all I am is depressed Everybody went and alone I was left Left alone shrivelling into nothingness The nothingness that leaves a hole in your heart But for me nothing is ripping me apart Tearing and ripping and pulling away As I’m screaming and crying and shouting for help But help is too busy to care for my needy soul So I must wait Wait for nothing My Present I have a present it is for me I have a present I wonder what it could be It could be a toy troll Or it could be a doll It could be paint to put o my face It could be a pretty necklace It could be a game that uses dice It could be some money for something nice I have a present It is for me I wonder what it could be I guess I’ll have to wait and see Dreaming I dream of being fed I dream of a shelter over my head I dream of sleeping in a bed I dream of clothes to wear I dream for someone to care I dream of a nice warm fire light I dream of ending this fight I pray to the sky But my prayers are too weak to fly that high I’m so skinny my ribs stick out of my skin I’m so weak my lip sinks down to my chin I’m so empty I can’t even cry I wish I could just die Reassure I did it to let my feelings out I did it to prove my existence I needed to open a door A door that would let out all the shit I’ve taken in I need to occupy myself I need to take my mind away from my depressing thoughts I need to feel it To feel the pain of my flesh being ripped apart And my insides flowing out of it I need to now I still have insides although I feel empty I did it to let my feeling out I did it to prove my existence is reel So I know I’m not already dead So I know there is still a chance you don’t exist after you die So I know I can end this I am going to die But I do not want you to cry My presents is with you though it’s hard to find Just think in my piece of mind And the mystery will soon unwind Murdered my best friend My heart is suffering Fighting to keep blood pumping through my veins Fighting to keep me alive The only thing that stood with me throughout my whole existence Without it I could not love nor hate It exists only inside me And it’s dying as a result of my actions But still I don’t peep I just sit Watching the blood dribble out of my wrist As my companion desperately pumps it But it just exits through my skin and onto the floor were I lay Fresh blood created and waisted Just like the life I received It was given to me to nurture And I abandoned it I don’t deserve to exist And so I must move on My heart and soul must separate And so we will stay cold and lifeless forevermore Meaningless These words don’t mean anything These words written in black Black like the way I feel But black doesn’t sum it up These words cannot tell you how I feel inside They can’t show you the black flames That burn beneath my skin They cannot make you understand These words mean nothing Bright sun The sun reveals a lot As it hovers over our blackness The blackness that it covers up Leaving only what’s underneath Giving us no choice but to look below As it shines so bright in a attempt to hide itself So ask yourself when the sun rises over the dark Is it revealing or hiding? Clipped wings Have you heard the one “why did the chicken cross the road?” He was sick of being called a chicken Every day he would sit alone While everyone else would smoke and talk on there mobile phone They’d do all stupid and daring things While he was smart and didn’t risk doing a thing his smartness led him to being alone While chicken was called out in a bullied tone So he took a step out of bounds And splattered everywhere he was found The bullies now respect him more But it’s too late His wings were clipped and now his gone I sit up as I drown In the tears of my friend And I pat her on the back My Soul These words are not that of my heart They are the words of my empty soul Scrolling its hovering hand over this thickless piece of paper As he writes As my soul writes these words He sobs He sobs tears of nothingness Tears from an empty being Tears that cannot be known Cannot be seen He writes about the pain he holds Unable to unclench his fist As he deals with the hate as well He writes about his thoughts And how he is unable to work them out with the lack of a brain He writes about the hollowness he feels Not that of being organelles but that of being empty The place inside him that is hollow like the others but not alike This place is reserved not for needs but for wants It is reserved for his true self The place inside him for him to keep The place that is not taken up by organs The place inside him for a soul These are the words of my soulless soul Others Open your eyes and you will see The life beyond you and me Nobody knows what they truly are They could come from near They could come from far They could be living things Or they could be spirits with wings They could be my hallucinations Or just my imaginations Or the cold be more real then you and me Shadows People dieing al the time Leaving only the faintest shadows behind But the light that hovers overs over us all Disguises these shadows So only the people with the widest eyes Can see that this world is not so nice They can see the fear that this world holds And the tears that this world cries You can see these tears if you look out from peers You can’t see how far it goes For nobody truly knows A salty pond is more than enough But a world full is just too much We can help if we actually try To teach this world not to cry Instead of letting yourself worthlessly die All you need to do is open your eyes It doesn’t even mater if you are blind Just open your eyes And you will see The shadows that lay there waiting to be seen Red tears My tears are not like yours They are not see through My tears don’t pore from my eyes It’s because my tears are not cries Just because it’s not crying Doesn’t mean they don’t follow the same lead My tears still represent sadness But they also represent hate My tears are not like yours But I wish they were Foot Steps Footsteps that travel in pair Over here and also there Footsteps scattered everywhere Footsteps implying feet have been there Feet that are fat Feet that are thin Feet that are long Feet that are short They’re all imprinted in our land Uniquely placed in mud and sand Travelling with your every move Racing with you leaving a trail of hooves They’ve followed you through good times and bad They’re your memories Happy and sad They have been beneath you all the way So if you fall they’d catch you any day They are your imprints in the world They will always last They are you memories They are your past Expectations Pressure Depression Tears Razer blade Suicide Love My quest for love is nearly done For I think I have found the one She is really sweat and extremely neat She really makes my heart beat God if I am wrong Make my life short not long. Step by step Last night I cut myself It wasn’t very deep Last night I cut myself I couldn’t get to sleep Today I cut myself I went into a deadly sleep Tomorrow I will cut myself My life is soon complete Mine This is my poem I don’t care what you think I don’t care if you like it I don’t want you to change it It is my poem You can’t tell me how to make it better You can’t tell me that it is wrong You don’t know what I think You don’t know what it is to me This is my poem It contains my mind, my heart, and my memories Not yours It is my poem And that is what it shall remain Full I have a place inside me It has no organs Nor muscles Or bones Though it’s not empty It is full of soul Fence A peace of glass From the mirror that she once stared into A puddle of blood From the heart that once was full Pail blue lips On the face we deceived to be colourful She fenced her face with a smile We never noticed the other side We never looked over the other side or ever cared enough to do so She was our friend The sound of black I hear something It scares me I scream for help But no sound I cry in my own thought I fear what will happen next I hear footsteps moving closer But all I can see is black Bang Now everything is red Drained Red dark evil liquid forced out of my veins and through my skin Then clear sparkly flowed melting from my eyes and trickling down my fair skin As all the good and evil are drained out of me for it is all I am and without it I am no more YOU!! You made it Too complicated You agreed You took the lead You got taught You fought You got torn And now you’re gone Now everything for you a nurse has to do It was all you Advice Express your feelings They all say Let it out Show yourself But I do So they don’t know I let my blood run loose I express my inner feelings I show my inner self I watch myself escape I watch as I run down my arm Strangling I suffer severely I can’t handle the ropes of this world strangling my neck slowly killing me Everyday I wake up and remember my existence Witch I tried so hard to forget the night before Everyday the same Everyday the worst of them all Everyday I try to part the arms of god further To tighten the ropes secured around my neck But I am nothing next to the being of he I am nothing And nothing I can do So I am forced to live on as an invisible being And wait to suffocate Poison Poison can fill my mind, my brain On my lips it can leave a stain It can flow through every vein It is something my heart will maintain But my blissful soul will stay sain Purpose Tears are running down my cheek Slowly trickling towards my hart My heart gradually breaking as the tears get nearer Blood rapidly pumping out of it as it disintegrates into nothingness The blood turning rock hard and ice cold as it flows out of my soulless body and onto the flour For I have no purpose Knocked out and won He stood there Without a care Just an evil stare The bell went dang His fist went bang Into his opponents ribs it sang His opponent then got him in the jaw He let out a huge roar You could tell he wanted more He tried to get him back But that freed his ribs and wack Then all off a sudden the fight was on He started throwing punches that were so random It was like he switched off but at the same time on It was like he turned into a lion without claws Or a bear that stout on all fours It was like pouf and he was a Wolfe Missed I miss your kiss I miss your smile I miss the way you act I miss the way you keep in tact I miss your thick long strands of hair I miss the way you’d always care I miss your fun yet responsible set of mind I miss the way your presence shined I miss the nice warm hugs you gave I miss our cozzie cave But most of all I miss you Ignored His family is a drunken mess His only friend is his dog Tess His left to run the house alone He has to earn money and pay for their home He eats cheep scraps every day He wants to leave but has to stay He sits in bed every night And cuts himself with a knife Not enough to kill himself But enough to take away the pain of everything else Now he had to give his only friend away He sits and prays to find a way But every way he turns is black Now his boss has given him the sack Now he lives on the street And eats thrown away meat He cannot deal with the pain any more His heart is so empty and sore He cries one tear In fear And cuts himself for the very last time Now he lays in the alley way In the dark No one knows or cares They just walk past I like bear It takes away my tear It signifies my fear I like bear Gone Last night I cut myself It didn’t really hurt It takes my mind of my brain And puts it on the pain It won’t stop bleeding though I guess I cut it really low In my blood I see my reflection I watch myself as I go I woke up in the hospital Told every one I fel Last night I cut myself But nobody knows Today I cut myself Now it really shows Going going going gone He new it was coming He was running Running running running away Running away from his memories Drifting drifting drifting thither Drifting thither apart Drifting away from his heart Fading fading fading absent Fading into nothingness Sinking sinking sinking deeper Sinking in his tears Sinking in his fear She shed a tear In fear Of what is yet to come Liquid Horror, fear, and sadness all trickling down my cheek As in the mirror I take a peak My blue eyes gazed upon themselves Then they slowly wondered towards my wrist Were I hold a sharp razer blade in my fist Tree branch With one flick of her wrist She slit her wrist Blood pouring out Pouring into the mist She didn’t even gloat All she did was hope Hope she didn’t have to spent One more minute praying to the pope She could not take the pain That filled her brain Then with her last glance Fixated on a tree branch Her head tilted to the side Her eyes open wide But just before she passed off dead A little grin shed Winter The syringe of the cold winter wind Spring The sniff of the particles in he air Autumn The unique leaves covering the garden Summer The high of being exhausted The seasons The drug of life Judged Hair covering her soft beautiful face Why dues she covers up such beauty? Maybe she doesn’t want you to be deceived by the glow se tries so desperately to hide Maybe she wants you to know the pain She wants you to see the darkness that the glow hides Maybe she hides her outside so you can see in Detention centre I’m sitting in a concrete room It has no door Just a curtained wall The room is also very small I’m sitting in a concrete room I call it my home In my home I sit and wait Wait to leave this home Wait to find a different home A home were I am free to roam I’m sitting in a concrete room Dreaming of a place A place on a nice landscape A colourful place Were on the grass I can sit and laze And watch the sun rise I’m sitting in a concrete room Crying I am crying tears in this concrete room Tears in fear of what is to come I’m sitting in a concrete room Sitting Waiting Dreaming Crying Fizz I lift the can up to my mouth And tilt it upwards Forcing the fizz to slide down my mouth It flows in Drowning my tastebuds in its playful taste I swish it round to spread the flavour Then let it voluntarily slide down my throat I feel it run through my veins I feel excited and odd Like two wrongs that making what feels right Like a sort of abnormal abnormal I look at my hands I don’t see them I see pours Bear pours I am turning into a bear A red bear Crying Oh have a cry From your eye I’m crying too But I’m not crying with you Wile you sit there and cry Just remember I’m the one who may die Because you bombarded me with your bullied thoughts And swelled up my hate Which led me to the razor blade You blocked away my light I’ve fought with you with all my might But now I am too weak to fight Your horrid words punctured my heart Leaving me to bleed Shedding my blood till I am drained For it is the only thing left You took my confidents and happiness away And now you’re taking my heart My most important part Without my heart I do not work It is my engine Now I am gone You rejected my soul Now I am just a shadow in the dark Why? Why did this happen to me? Why am I so empty? Why can’t I make any friends? Why can’t I go to sleep? Why did I run away? Why am I so ugly? Why can’t I change? Why am I holding a razer in my hand? Why did this happen to me? Why did I do this to me? Gift I have received a gift A generous gift A gift to take care of A gift to have fun with A gift to treasure But I don’t want it It is the gift of life A bottle A bottle All bottled up Full of harm waiting to happen Slowly decaying past it’s used by date When broken so sharp and feared A jail for its insides A jail that is locked until someone opens it I lay there Eyes sealed shut My family around me Telling m stories It is my funeral There wrong I cut myself I need to reassure that I am still alive I need to know that blood still runs through me Even though it may not be pure I need to feel my pain to prove to myself I still have feelings I need to show myself I am not a wuss And that I can feel and bleed And I am alive Even though many people think not Forgotten My soul awaits a meaning It waits for a purpose to exist It has no reason to be As it lets itself drown in to forgotten
01 Aug 2006	jenny	Hi there I'm back. I don't think my other answer got posted but anyway I have some things to say. First of all did you know that your family will be the one cleaning up after you? If you make a mess, they'll be the one cleaning out your brains from the corners, and pulling the drain and then washing the bloody bathtub you left behind. Someone has to do it, and NO, cleaning companies will NOT do it for you. That's all for this part. Now if you want to kill yourself, be considerate. Remember you're hurting your family by doing this, might as well not make them clean up after you. Anyway last time I posted a lot of tips about killing yourself, but apparently it wasn't posted. So yeah. Here is a tip though. Tylenol/Aspirin : Don't overdose on this, or you will get liver damage and die an agonizing death in a few weeks. Which sucks. Some won't mind I guess. It's very hard to save a person from this, as you will most likely need a liver transplant. You have to take very large amounts of this although I'm not sure how much exactly. If you really want to swallow pills, take prescription pills. A large amount. Most will kill you, just try to do some research on the web before.
01 Aug 2006	Ivan	I have no idea all i know is that i encourage it im not a 100% sure why even i want to do it. its not even that i have a bad life its pretty good actually i use o be very happy but now every day looks much two similar to the last i dont have any goals its not like i dont have people that love me, i have good parents realy good friends and an even better boyfriend,its just that life seems so falible i dont even know why i was givin life,i guess im just bored with every aspect of my life im not sure its worth it to stomach another day.Idont want to kill myself i just dont see what alternative i have other to see whats on the other side
01 Aug 2006	Privat	Actually, just buy a school tie, head down to the park, get a tree, and something to stand on, tie the tie to the tree and firmly around your nech, kick the stool over and ride free. But make sure that the tie has a bit left so your neck breaks when you kick the stool - painless. I have alot of pain. I have been pushed about, I have been bullied, I have no friends - just a girl and a get endless headaches everday. I have trouble sleeping and I am missing a big gap in my life - my grandad, who i had to see die. :-'(
01 Aug 2006	walter	man all u people sayen dat this site is bad then why the fuk are u on here go bak 2 ur normal lives us people on here are depressed we read and think SHIT there is someone worse off than me so go back to ur lives and leave us alone we will do wat the fuk we want ok so im nearly done and if a kid is looking on this site they need help and we are herE SO IF U GOT A PROBLEM WITH WAT I SAY ADD ME AND ILL HAPPILY ARGUE WITH U BUT FOR THOSE KIDS WHO WANT SOME ONE TO TALK 2 ADD ME I CAN HELP
31 Jul 2006	a somebody whos a nobody	im 13 and i have cut myself 16 times becuase some how i think its good for me. they weren't big cuts just little ones except for one. i told my family that they were just cat scratches. ive told so-called-friends that i was going to commit suicide and only one believes me or at least cares about me. she told the counsler at school and i got called down to her office durring first hour. my counsler at school was also my basketball coach for 7th grade (i guess shes going to be the 8th coach next year too, so i get to see more of her, which isnt a bad thing neccessarly) so she knew me pretty well. all the time that i was in her office i just kept thinking how stupid and retarded it was, and how that isnt like me to be in the counslers office. so she asks me questions and more questions. and finally we were done and i went back to class. but than later that day she had a counsler from outside of the school come to talk to me. it sucked. the whole time i was wondering what my mom would say or if she would say anything after i got home from school and she got home from work. that night she didnt say anything about that topic, but in the morning after she dropped my sister off at school she asked if i knew who told my counsler i did but i said that i didnt and she left it at that. a couple days later i was called down to her office again and she asked how talking to the outside counsler was. and really it was stupid because what did she expect me to say that it was great and the best thing the happened to me, it wasnt it was one of the most uncomfortable things because i hate talking to people about my problems i keep them locked inside of me. so she let me go. than a couple more days passed and while i was in gym she came in a talked to my gym teacher and after we were done with the activity my teacher told me to go to the counsling office to see mrs. schippers. this time she asked me what i thought about outside counsling. when she asked me this it made me feel like i was a crazy maniac who wanted to die so bad. i didnt say much (like usuall). it sucks to know that ur mom, sister, friends, and basketball coach know that you want to commit suicide because i think that they think im going to do it at any time, when i know im not because i dont have the guts or a plan on how to do it. and that totally sucks. its been a couple of months since i talked to my coach since its the summer, and once i get back to school i know that shell call me down sooner or later, so ill be waiting for it. i just hope i dont snap some day and actually do it because ive never tried and honestly i dont really want to right now (but i know thats goin to change). so i hope none of u snap either. ~a somebody whos a nobody~
31 Jul 2006	Liam	I am permanantly abused, ed by thugs who steal from me and i am mentally being killed. I have been in a mental hospital for a time now and i want to die. i have been relicd 1 month ago and i need to know the quickest, most silent you know.
31 Jul 2006	mary	y do u need to kill your self
31 Jul 2006	emm	i feel very sad for all you people that are thinking about killing yourself. at 13 you should not no anything aboutkilling yourself! you have wrote your storys on here that shouts out to me that you need help this is your cry for help.go toyour local doctor get counselling!! i am half way through to becoming A counsellor! its good to talk your problems through and you will be heard and helped!!
30 Jul 2006	Whatever U want it to be	There is no "Best" way to kill yourself when your under 13 or over 13. People post how much they hate life and want to end it. It's hard to think about what life would be like if you weren't alive, actually its impossible. So if you kill yourself because you want to eliminate the pain, who says your going somewhere better? You could say I have no room to talk in here, and that's fine, but even though Iv'e never put serious thought into killing myself, Iv'e lived with an older brother, whom I look up too a lot, who has. My brothers gotten into more trouble with the law than I can remember. From what I know, he used to slit his wrists and he's overdosed on pain killers. Probably not the worst thing possible, but hey, it's hard to deal with when your young. It's even harder when your friends tell you how much of a f*** up your brother is and how stupid they think he is. But back to the subject, I don't sleep anymore. I can't. I'm too worried about what he mite do to himself. I know what your thinking, focus on you and not him, you can only control one life, and that's your own. Believe me, Iv'e heard that before. It's not that easy. You have to be in that ersons position to actually feel what they do. My dad never says anything encouraging to him, all he says is that he'll be in jail sooner or later and he's also a f*** up..Nice encouragement dad..Anywho, All I'm trying to say is 2 things. 1). Don't do it, you may think your useless and you don't need to be living and that the world will be better off without you..But honestly, It wont. People may say how much they hate you and say critical things that hurt, but I don't think they'd be feeling that was at your funeral. People say things, a lot of things, its hard to shake them off, but its just what you gotta do, life will get better beleive it or not. And 2.) I need my own help as well...With the whole insecurity of sleeping and what not, so If anyone has maybe experienced it or has good advice, please E-Mail me.
30 Jul 2006	sunny	go inside ur garage turn the car on close all da doors and fall alsleep youll die and u wont even know it
30 Jul 2006		WHY DONT U PEOPLE RING UP CHILD LINE IF U R BEEN BEATEN AND ABUSED OR SEEK COUCILING I THINK U WHO WANT 2 DIE R SELFISH THERE R PEOPLE DIEING OF CANCER ECT WHO DO NOT WANA DIE AND YOUS WHO WANA END IT WITHOUT EVENTRYING TO MAKE MOST OF IT SOME THINGSWE CART CHANG BUT SOMETIMES U GOT TO STEPUP AND TAKE CONTROL FUCK THE ONES WHO HAVE HURT U WAT GOES AROUND CUMS AROUD
30 Jul 2006	kelly	i have had a reali bad life but iam not going to go into ALL the bad things that has happend in my life because i just fink of it as 'there is always sum 1 in the world that has had a worse life than me'(u should fink the same)i 2 have wanted to die since i was about 9 and still do. (iam 17 now) wen i was that age i only used to say i want to die never reali did anything about it just useto sit bak and wach my mum slit her wrist and take overdoes's she always said she wanted to die and wen i was 12 she did she jumped of a bridge on to a busy road. i have only tryed to kill my self twice by takin as many pills as i could, the last time i did it i realy fort i was goin to die i was lay in bed and fort i felt my self slippin away,i wasn't scared at all, but some how i woke up a hour later screaming 'i shud be dead' so now i have given up on tryin to kill my self, i just dont like pain. so for every 1 out there i hope everyfin goes ok for you, and maybe 1 day some of u cud look bak and say iam glad i didnt do it but sum of u mite of aleady dun it #########
30 Jul 2006	steven	u people u say this site is sick and people who use / run it are sick wtf were u searching when u found it?
29 Jul 2006	iahveh	uhm.... i don't think joking about selling suicide to teenagers is anything that should be allowed. And i totally agree that a great way to keep people from killing themselves is certainly to tell them they're "fucking sick". stumbling across this website is a bit scary because it shows the total disregard for the physical and emotional pain other people feel, and the absence of loving advice. people can hurt, and it's not always because they're self centered or dramatic. what about kids who have been abused, and feel like they'll never ammount to anything in life. that's a pain deep enough to spur someobody onto suicide. if anybody is reading this site for actual advice on how to die, try thinking about how you were loved when you were an infant. there was a real love around at one point, and killing yourself won't get it back, or stop the pain you're feeling now. not to write a book, but i admitt that i tried to kill myself by cutting my wrists with a butter knife, and only survived because the sheets helped stop the bleeding after i blacked out. find somebody who you think you could talk to, and ask them to spend some time supporting you. all we need is love
28 Jul 2006	scors.b	Love to you all. Take care, generally. signed, me. (Still alive).
28 Jul 2006	LIFE IS SHIT!!!	Life is shit And it hurts The pain is so unbelievably deep That I don’t know how of rid my tears Of what my heart is going through. Life is shit But I’ve been through it before So why haven’t I learned That I am no one’s somebody He says don’t worry You’re beautiful and that someone out there wants you It’s just not me But how does he know that I’m not meant to be alone Because it seems that I know that I’m not meant to be with someone And what about her? She would die if she knew I dreamt about her Life is shit Because I can’t make up my mind about who I am going to love Though it should make no difference Because no one loves me. My life has been shit Because he told me loved me then he turned around Got on top of me and ruined my life My life is shit Because he took her away from me The one person Who I prayed to him about The person Who made me realize that I am someone special He took her away And now he wants to take everything away My dignity, my loves that don’t exist My life But I’m not ready to die But my heart is ready And has been for some time It has died so many times before Why not again? It’s not as if I did not expect to get hurt this summer It was something that was destined to happen I get hurt wherever I go And I always find someone like you Who just wants to turn me away And you said you were always the one that was rejected Well good for you Now you get to do the rejecting It must make you feel just great But I know that it doesn’t You told me that this also hurt you But am I wrong to think that you could not possibly understand my pain in this situation? Life is shit Because it always gets you from behind and stabs you in the back Life is not worth it If I keep getting hurt I always say This time it’s different This time he really does like me But all those times and this time They all end the same He rejects And turns away I cry He asks why And I try to explain That I have never been the one To go to the movies I’ve always been the class joke The one to point at and laugh at The one that people dared other people to ask out I’ve been the class outcast But I’ve never been the Eliza Doolittle I’ve never been admired from afar, or from up close either I’m no one They told me before Why didn’t I listen? I didn’t listen because I had dreams I had dreams of being chosen among all of them I had dreams that I was beautiful I had dreams that I didn’t know what it was to cry or to feel the pain That can only be seen or felt by the edge a razor against my smooth skin I've loved so many And I’ll love many more But they will never love me back Why can’t I be adored just once in my life Just once It’s not really all that much to ask for I could have loved him I could have been loyal I could have loved him even from so far away But he could never have loved me Not even just for a second So why did I even dream that he could? Life is shit Because I could love her But she Could never love me Life is shit Because Who I love will lead me to trouble My friends will leave They will think I dream about them What little they know about me. Life is shit Because I yearn to feel the blood drip down my arm again I yearn to yell and scream at the world Why is my life just one big nothing? Why can’t I be loved too? Why me? I had dreams You don’t think I didn’t dream of being a star Of singing to the world Or sharing my passions with the world I guess not huh? I wanted the money, the glory, and the spotlight I wanted it all What is it all? Is it love, and trust and family Love? Well I don’t have that Trust? Sometimes Family? One that supports me? I have half of one Happiness? I did You made me happy I smiled so much The first time in a long time But you have taken that away now And I don’t know how to get it back Maybe I want to see you And think of turning away But you’ll stop me And take me in you arms And tell me that you do love me Just not like that You’ll hug me And say that everything will be alright You’ll still wave at me And I will know that I can be happy again But are those realistic dreams? Are you a realistic friend? One that I can always count on? You say that you are But I haven’t felt that warmth yet That embrace That seals the deal Please Be there for me When times Are low Even when You’re far away Be there That way I’ll know that I can be happy again Life is shit Because I don’t trust myself to give this to you So you will know how I feel Because I don’t want to scare you off again Because you are so important to me And I know that I am nothing to you Life is shit Because after four pages of this poem I still cry. I cry tears that I didn’t know existed I cry tears that have been waiting for seventeen long and painful years Life is shit Because no one understands The pressures that I feel The stress That goes along With being A semi closeted Bisexual Life is shit Because I don’t even understand The pressures and the stress that lay before me Because of the lifestyle choice that I have maid Life is shit Because I never listen I never give up I always push too hard I pushed too hard this time And I pushed you away They say don’t look back But I know what lies ahead And I would rather look back than look to a dreary future I would rather fall in love thousands of times And not be loved back than to not love at all Life is shit Because after five pages of this poem I still cry. And I still yell and I still want to be mad at you But how could I ever be really mad at you I don’t know how I ever was Life is shit Because I cant find another word One that is more suitable One that’s not so offensive But life is offensive And throws punches at you when you are not ready So what do I do now? Do I just go on with my life and pretend That none of this happened? Do I hide away my tears so no one sees them so you don’t see them Or do I weep openly in you arms? I’ve waited so long to find someone life you And I can’t let you go Even when I think that letting you go will let me off the hook with all this hurt and pain Life sucks Is that a better word I don’t know You tell me Life sucks Because it always has And I don’t know how to get it to not Suck Life is life It hands you what you need to be handed But did I really need to be handed This? Did I? Really? Well I don’t agree I don’t think That I had to have all of this hurt in my life A little bit? Sure That’s ok But this much Over and over and over again? No one should ever have to go through that I shouldn't have had to go through that Life is shit Because after six pages I cant seem to end this damn poem Life is shit Because after six pages I still cry.
28 Jul 2006	Girl from UK	Im an english girl, aged 21. My close friend took alot of tablets the other day. It was totally unexpected. I knew she had issues and I tried to help but this? I was just searching on the net about how to deal with it and about depression and got onto this site. Iv been reading entries for the last 2 hours and the stories are truly heart wrenching. I know alot of you dont want sympathy you just want to be wanted etc. I wish I had the power to take all your pain away but thats not possible. Im no agony aunt but if ant of you want to speak to an english girl and you just want a chat email me. ps The entry that 'ugly girl' posted at the beginning of july was truly touching and you are very talented. I know the subject of which you are writing about isnt nice but you describe it so well and the poetry was amazing and im no grade A english student. anyway im off. Reading this has been such an eye opener and I hope you can all find some happiness in your life.
28 Jul 2006	meghan	i know how this stuff works, right now im trying to kill my self but it just wont work! the love of my life just broke up with me and everyone hates me! i dont understand why but ive actually made a list of ways im gonna start trying to kill my self! i just cant talk life anymore! i mean whats the point of living if you dont feel alive! everyone just wnt understand my problems and i just can take life anymore

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