Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
17 Jul 2004	Mike	YO YOU WANNA FUCKIN KILL YOURSELF 1. GOTO A BAD AREA IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD STICK YOUR NOSE INTO BAD PLACES AND THINGS.... IE. A GANG..... OR MY FAVORATE WAY.... GET 1 GRAM OR HEROIN 1 GRAM OF COCAINE.... GET A SPOON A LIGHTER A NEEDLE 90 UNITS OF WATER MIX IT IN THE SPOON ADD THE WATER.... HEAT UNTILL IT IS COMPLETELY DISSOLVED SUCK UP THE DEADLY MIXTURE WITH THE NEEDLE... FLICK OUT THE BUBBLES AND INJECT INTO A VEIN... FAST PAINLESS DEATH WILL COST U BOUT 180 CANADIAN DOLLARS THO BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK YOUR DEAD ANYWAYS 2 get a needle fill it completly with air and inject into vein... instant heart attack... Good Luck OH BTW THIS IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES SO I MAY NOT BE CHARGED OR FINED IN ANYWAY
16 Jul 2004	Jannah	take your favorite cd - break it and slit your body as many times as you can. PRESS HARD!
15 Jul 2004	Deadlypudding	Everyone who I've seen respond to this in a serious and suicidal way is fucking INSANE! You are adistic and overly self-confident in your belief that lif will rape you for everything you.ve got. Well I got news, I like for life to rape me. It reminds me that I'm not perfect that I have to earn the respect of others, that I have to do my best and be my best for life to not touch me there as much. Every suicaidal person ever thinks that because they don't have the greatest life ever they gotta just escape. My cousin was 16 when he pulled the trigger and he was much better off than I am. He was a heroine addict(as well as a few other drugs) and got fucked up one day and did himself in. Now the sad part he had planned it anyway. He just got fucked up so he wouldn't feel it. He followed in Kurt Cobain's footsteps, right under the chin with a rifle/shotgun. I don't understand how you people can get off from hurting/killing yourself and making those you love and love you back be pained by your self-hate. I understand that most suicidals believe no one loves them but they're all fucking nuts. I believe every damn one of you are loved by someone. Hell I don't even know any of you but I'd hate to hear that you killed yourself. I have no sympathy however to you if you commit the act that only shows how weak and pathetic you were and completely stupid. My cousin wouldn't have killed himself if he was sober. He wouldn't have even thought of it if he weren't a drug addict. Those who do it through drugs are not those who have followed through with the act of their own will. I believe though the body pulled the trigger(drank the poison, od'ed, etc.) the mind was crying for help. I would hope that anyone who is suicidal would really look at their life and just focus on anything good no matter how miniscule and don't tell me you can't think of anything even then because you're fucking lying. and denying the inevitebal truth if you don't die to save another life then you fucked up.
14 Jul 2004	Mindy	Today im feeling like shit! I must have a split personality if you read any of my other entries. This always seems to catch me by surprise even though I know it will come. I mean I constantly set myself up to fall, but sometimes I really believe my way of thinking helps me. I read morticians bread and butter and I realized that im in the same perdicament as her okay so maybe not. Maybe someone can relate to me. You know the stages of suicide. I guess I should share a little more about myself before I get personal. Im 17 years old, A lesbian and im very comfertable in my sexuality and to those of you boy or girl who feel or know there gay or lesbian and it bothers you. Why? It is your life live for yourself. Live to be happy. Dont hide behind a fucking mask because I see right through you. I know the motions life brings us. People give me that fucking mindless bullshit bander question how do u know so much at only 17? What the hell kind of question is that. I dont measure what I know by age but I measure it by experiance. I am the way Iam because of so much shit, everyone seems inferior to me. My ego's talking agian, Who cares I love myself and so should you. I read this article about one girl who crys herself to sleep and who is tired of looking in the mirror seeing inperfections, wether you think your fat or ugly or maybe you think your too skinny dont have those big tits or ass that this propaganda ran media says is in. Why listen to it!!! your brain washing your self! It's all bullshit, so much is bullshit! Im sick of people and myself falling into these longterm depressive self destructive modes. Im tired of sitting back and not being able to feel like I can do anything about it. Im fucking literally sick to my stomach from all the BULLSHIT I have to take. But like I said before in my other writtings pain is nothing but an emotion to me, a rollercoaster ride of torment that fogs up my perception and I forget to see how impotant I can be. Not for this fucked up society but for you people the only ones who truely understand me. I understand you. I understand your pain. I know what it is like to cry everyday. Live inside your room because frankly everyone sucks!!! Every where you turn there someone is waiting to judge you. Well here I am telling you to forget those peole those people!! they are useless fucking pieces of decaying flesh waiting to plauge you with another disease. Setting you up to fall... Dont read into it find friends that are understanding of who you are. I'd look into the gothic crowd. I could sit here and make jokes about this. I could be cold and apathetic as I was in my last entries but what would that do to help you. I cant make you think like me. Im so fucking twisted at times but I always care for peole like you, the lost people. The one who feel they have nothing to live for. Feeling as if they are worthless. I see into you. Please allow me to. the calling of a pain ridden heart to another. Let me see your true self. I promise I will not judge you. FUCK those who do FUCK you peole who come on here and ignore the fact that some people have fucking bleed literally dying just waiting for someone to understand them to reach out to them. Look no longer I am here to listen to you. And only and if only.. I will give you my advice. I cannot promise it will permanitely cure you but hopefully I can get you on the right track. Im still fighting this myself and it's a hard fight but in doing so you become stronger more prone to and immune to these feelings that they become nothing. Trust me you will laugh agian. and if you were at the piont I was a couple of days ago and think that people who laugh are fucking idiots im here to prove there not. Im also here to let you know once more I see through you knowing deep down all you want to do is to laugh agian. Live a life that you deserve to have, If you read this that far you came to understand you dont really want to die or maybe you do. And I understand that too. Im not some fucking poser saying shit just to say shit. I get you I've been there shit I still am it just takes longer for me to crash down not saying that your weak, just implying these feelings do and will subside but over time give youself a chance even if your on your 7th chance dont see it as your last! I say your worth it. Expecially my other gothies we are a fucking community. The ones who have been redeemed outcast to this current society haha but what is society why does it matter. We are all fucking human. I would love to be immortal to see all these peole who caused my suffering to rot slow over and over agian. Fuck I dont know anymore im drifting into a place I love agian and that place is my hate my security. All I fucking want for you people like me. to email me if you have to I will be there. I hate going outside. I have black velvet cutians to keep out the fucking sun!!! All I can think of is saying the word fuck all this is fucked this world is fucked im fucked your fucked this life as a whole is fucked!!! But for some reason im still able to care for you someone who I dont know figitively but mentally. so yea thats it!!! thats all I can say about me... MY EMAIL IS... SadisticGothie66@yahoo.com that is also my messenger so you can add me to your list just tell me your from here and i'll add you. "The day wasint gone until I came" and here I am ending another day ending the suffering momentarily killing a day one at a time, saving the rare thinkers such as I,telling you it's about time we get together and end this suffering not in death but in complexity. Who says it takes so long to evolve as a person I say it dosin't. and im the fucking proof and you can be too!!! lets shows these fuckers how strong we are!!! What we are about!!! Show them there stupidity and shove it in there faces make them see the pieces of shit they are. maybe they will kill themselfs that would save me a life time in jail. Ah the killing of an asshole society and the rising of ours how great!!!
14 Jul 2004	Kobrakid2004	Are you depressed? Do you have a low self-esteem? Is your mind full of self-destructive thoughts? Do you want to live a happier life? Do what I have done: Boost up your testosterone level and all your problems will go away ! You will experience no fatigue, no depression and No Suicidal thoughts ! Good luck !
14 Jul 2004	Mindy	suicide wouldin't be suicide if u asked someone to kill u. that would be murder in the first degree. haaa kewl
14 Jul 2004	Mindy	HAHAH!!! I already posted but my fucked up self feels an urge to be on every fucking space there is avalible and if it's not fuck u im taking it y??? umm... because I can. gonna come chase me. fuck off the satanic penguins are my security. hah I dont need security. it sucks!!! like life and waking up to sunshine and fucking naked babies and petunyas bullshit cockwhores. I am the fucking one who created suffering it is my art. and it's so beautiful. Dont be weak and give in c'mon it's fun enjoy the fucking ride. your bound to die anyway, Im so enlightened by my suicidal tendencies I see them as wonderful reminders of how much things suck and that makes me so happy. FUll of joy and all that wonderful skip to my fucking gagged and embolmed aunt lou, choke your self will a spoon. roast ur ass and stick a fork in u ur done. How can u not want to ride and play along this wonderful game it's so much fun!!! Wow im so happy thanks agian misery. A shoutout to my bestfriend Malice and a fucking stabby stabby to my fucking masterful self the almighty sadistic one. Iam so happy for all of you!!! I wish you could be as happy as I am to know of pain, to be the one who has become pain, and still be able to live and laugh in the fucking face of this decietful life. Know that things dont get better and if they do they will get fucked up agian trust me i kno. But the only thing to do is to wait it out life is a big joke. dont give up too soon to miss the punchline at the end. dont listen to those god fuckers, those god damn posers telling u it's gonna be okay because u and I both kno it's not!!! take it from someone who excepts these feelings and you'll be able to be like me and turn pain into happiness. Because once you have created something out of an emotion that existed you will be able to manipulate it into anything you want. Im not ur friend although I would like to be. Lets love the pain. and lets start living agian the life of a tainted broken soul searching for nothing except the feeling of knowing you can fight the pain, that u are strong I will help you find that strenth in you if you cannot seem to find it. Thank you for reading this my fucked up way of perception but wouldint you have to agree that my way of thinking is right. if it's allowed me to find all these graet new projects and art to form with pain. I love it. Still hate the world and this society of shit. join in and become the sadistic delusions of delerium ans learn to find happiness in pain im reaching out to you.
14 Jul 2004	Mindy	Im 17 and I've been fighting these fucking asshole feelings for 3 years. Im starting to question why. This all seems too fucking messed up. I cry everyday then I laugh. I find it so funny im that hurting and finding so amusing why I continue, WhEn I dont have to. My uncle blew his brains out a couple of weeks ago. I dont know I feel jealous that he dosin't feel anymore. I envy his death, When I was at the funeral I was wanting it to be me in the coffin. A fucking preacher smiled at me I wanted to murder that fucking god cock sucking queef fucker!!! At least that would make me happy for a while. Why Kill me when I can kill you and have someone kill me later on while I rot in jail. seems so inviting.The slow suffering and needing im so addicted to pain maybe I dont wanna die haha im just fucking crazy. I love pain so you piece of shit life keep piling more shit on me please. Im going through withdrawl. Thank you for my girlfriend and her dissapearance. I want to blow up this fucking world and watch it from a temporarily safe place. Then I would dress myself up as a fucking retard look in a mirror to get one last good laugh then blow my fucking head off. If u want to email me go ahead I dont have anything better to do with my fucking life. and by the way misery loves company so the more the better. yeah kill every stupid fuck that gives you the slightest idiotic look. you brainless fucks!!! The future will bury you all. So whats wrong speeding up time???
14 Jul 2004	Tony	I am no longer 13 anymore, i'm 17 but aynways. When i was 13 i was constantly smoking marijuana and i couldn't feel anything like a papercut or a heated up razor balde going into my skin. I was so depressed that i took 10 caffein pills and my heart started to pound at extreme rates. I basically almost over dozed on those pills, i really wish i would have. My life has all gone to hell. Like someone els here said to go out and tell people, well that isn't always the right thing to do cause most people won't take your cries for help seriously and they'll just pretend to help and not actaully care about what goes on after that. I told my mom once that i needed help, counseling or whatever and she got the forms for me to see a counseler but after that she just blew everything off. She lost the form and never once after that did she ever try to help me or see if i needed anything. so anyways.. I think the best way to end your own life when you don't have many materials available would be to simply down a bottle or two of IBuprofren ( not Tylenol that won't do aynthing to you, as i have learned form past experiences) then after you take the bottle(s) of IBuprofren start drinking hard alcohol if you can get someone to buy you some. Perferbaly ICE 101. ICE 101 is 100 proof alcohol it tastes like candy in a way and before you even know it you'll be gone. I am sorry to anyone that has to live a life in hell when there is supposed to be a ""great"" life ahead of them.........
13 Jul 2004	Caitlin	I undersand all you people that say if your 13 and you want to die ur stupid and whiny and its all over stupid little problems that like everyone has at that age and stuff but reading that made me really REALLY mad! cuz I am fourteen and I have alot of friends that say they want to die and there just liek the whiny people ur talking about but I tried to committ sucide when I was 12 so u must think Im realy whiny and that is what makes me sofucken mad u think Im just a whiny attention seeking kid whos problems everyone has and evrything will be fine in a couple years well guess what NO!!! UR WRONG! amybe ur right aboutmost kids butnot me Im 14 and both my parents are dead i had to watch my father and my brother die I never knew my mom and after me being in a fucked up orphange for so long im finally with a family but thats noteven a good thing cuz they use me to do all the house work and if i dont they beat me...they hardly ever let me eat im never aloud to do anything with friends so now i dont have any they putme down so much and icant even walk down the street without people making fun of me and all there real kids get so much there so spoiled and i get nothing thishas been goin on forso long and its not gonna change cuz itried calling child services and they caught me and they beat me so hard and now im soscared to do it again cuz i dont wanna get caught and beating liek that again......and last year i was raped and thrown into a ditch that memory haunts me every day ..and pretty soon my adoption parents are gonna take me out of school so i can work for them and i know i will never be able to leave cuz they said there never letting me get a job or anything so iwill never have any money and last night i was sexually assualted for the first time by there 16 year old son and iknow thats gonna happen again and they dont care so tell me are these just little whiny problems that every little kid has? i dont think so and i never complain about them ialways keep itall locked up and suprsingly there are SO many kids in the world that have a worst life so I feel sorry for them and thankful im not in there shoes but still I know my life is never gonna get better only worse so yes I do want to commitsuicide and if dont care if anyone tells me my life will get better it wont and even if it will i wont be able to make it much longer so fuck this shit im gone and down u fucken tell me im a whiney kid!!!!
13 Jul 2004	Paul	I love you mouchette. The best and most comfortable way to kill yourself is a bullet to the head, since your under 13 and cant get a gun, try to take triple c it contains dxm so more than about 16 should kill you and before you die you will have the time of your life. Or just sit here on your ass read this and talk about how depressed you are and how much your parents restrict you, even though you are prolly in your OWN ROOM, in a NICE HOUSE on a NICE COMPUTER, you guys are lame and just want attention do the world a favor and just jump out onto a highway at rushhour
13 Jul 2004	Erica	live through life
09 Jul 2004	twisted	go into your garage and turn on your car just sit there untill you fall alseep and die!!
09 Jul 2004	alyssa	get a nife and cut your seff in peacies (my friend cumitted suiccide i think i'll do it to bye)
09 Jul 2004	Sunshine	You shouldn't wanna harm yourself, think of the positive things in life.
09 Jul 2004	Megan	You could always jump off a really tall building on to pavement..Not so bad about a second after you hit..Or off the empire state building..You die in the air! Whoa! Then people wont think you commited suicide..You coulda slipped! :0
09 Jul 2004	Mackenzie	JUMP OFF THE FUCKING BRIDGE ABOVE THE GENESEE RIVER! OH YEAH YEPP YOUR GONE!:)
09 Jul 2004	Meg--Mackenzie's friend	The simple answer..drown yourself its quick...One breath full of damn water and your gone!
09 Jul 2004	Lil mike	To Angel of Darkness: I stumbled upon this site by pure accident. I read your post earlier in the day and couldn't forget you.. or any of the others. So I had to come back and post to you.. first. I hope I can post to others later. But since yours was the first post i read i will post to you first.And because you have found your calling and dont realize it. Someone relies on you.Wakes up looking forward to seeing you..needs to see you each day. And even says thank God for you.You have found a reason to live because you are special to someone. My parents devorced when i was about 3.I was blessed by getting a saint for a step dad. But when I went to visit my dad it was Hell. Not like any of you went through. At all. Just fighting for my dad through the step mom..step brothers and half sister. My dad always took up for them. Of course.. he had to live with her. But theres alot of pain i still carry for it.But none like all of you feel.When i finally moved with my dad at the age of 14,I only lived there 3 years before he wanted to charge me rent because he was trying to get rent from my step brother who was 21 still living at home.Of course if you go after the step son you have to do the same to your own son. Bull.I moved out.Finally I got my own place and married my high school sweetheart.We have been dating since we were sophmores.Angel of Death.. dont let me loose you with all that yet. I'm getting to what I wanted to tell you. We now have a son who is 17, a senior in high school.He is a god kid. Anyway, I was always raised to help others. And I have tried to do that.And we have taught our son that. About 7 years ago my wife learned that there were 2 kids homes in our small town (pop of about 12,000)small for me since my mom took us to cal when they divorced.It was at Christmas and I'll never forget her crying and saying I dont want anything but to help those kids.Let me side step for a minute. 11 years ago I owned 2 houses a machine shop and built storage buildings in our town. No.. I'm not rich. If one person stopped a months payment we would be in big trouble.Our neibors at the time were not a good influence on my son. So we started looking for a new home. We found a house with 4 acres. When I say it i asked God that if he would let me be able to purchase it I would share it with all the kids that needed love. God answered my prayers. We have helped the kids homes all these years. They are all like you all.They have been abussed,sexually, mentally and phisically. Taken from theirs homes for those reasons. Kids just like you.We love them all so much. We have them over fishing in our pond, took them to a local Country music show where they had a blast, and have even rebuilt a Merry go Round for them at the home. What I'm getting at is this.. ANGEL OF DEATH... You can be ANGEL OF LIFE to that one kid, no more than that one kid... many more. Maybe your calling is to work with kids like you...to comfort them, hug them when they are crying. You know thier pain. Who better to help others send than someone that knows the all the pain first hand. GOD WORKS IN MISTERIOUS WAYS!!!!. I know. Because I am helping kids like you in my area...AND I LOVE THEM AND I Love YOU!!AND I CARE... ABOUT ALL OF YOU.!!! I had to stop typing and cry.. No.. I'm no fake.. I'm not bull shit!!!I do care. We were all created for a purpose.. I know mine. To help kids like you. No I'm not one of those councelers, they are just college kids trying to make a grade. Yeah.. I told you I know the system.But I'm not one of them.Angel of death...You can make a difference in the world...in kids lifes. You have felt it in that one feeling you got when that boy said Thank God you are there everydaY...Please... look at this as a chance in life. Real life. I think you have a great oppertunity to help others thru your life.TAKE THE CHANCE.. Help others, its an awesome feeling. I LOVE life. I thank GOD every day for it.And for the chance to help others like you.You are a caring person.. I can tell from your post. What do you want to do with your life?... End it... Or help others who are in the same pain. I read whre you all are cutters to ease the pain... Try reaching out to others that feel the same way to help them to live... not die. THAT EASIES MY PAIN. Try it. Ibeg you all... Try it first. Listen to each other. Help and be there for each other to support each other. ANGEL OF DARKNESS... help keep others alive....Please. dont let others die... tell them what you have felt. Enough preaching to you all... I will not give up on kids like you...dont give in to all that hurts you.Help others. Angel of death.. I hope you change your name to ANGEL OF LIFE. Help other kids like you. The feeling is better than death.. or bleeding.I promise.Thats how i heal myself of the pain. If you are interested in talking to me angel.. I will give you my email then..Angel... YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!! I know you have been through alot.. But use it to help others. Its a feeling I cant discribe. TRULIE.Believe me. Post again.. I PROMISE I will reply. Lets teach others how to treat and love each other as Gods children. Please reply to me.I'll watch for your reply. They call me Lil Mike since my step brother that I loved was named Mike and he was Big Mike. He passed away 2 years ago. They say it was Pneumonia. That was just to throw family off. He was lonely and did drugs to fill the loneliness. I'll be thinking of you Angel... Pleas post..
09 Jul 2004	stephness	Continue living to when u are 16... to prove the help desks wrong.. 24 hours of thinking... hasnt changed my mind as much as it has for the last 4 years.. the best way to die... is to be dead... so... why are you still alive? ...why am i still alive?... coz even in death my soul will live but be unheard... unseen... the best way to die?.... you r already dead.. no one sees u.. no one hears you.. nobody knows u any more... you are as dead as u were bearthing to start of with ... to die any more.. is to have never existed.. the best way to kill yourself... is to go on breathing as some one else.. coz ..really .. u died a long time ago... when your hopes and dreams and happyness died within u.. no rope.. no pills... no blades.. no injuries... the most brutal is the scars and pain that they dont see.. that has killed u already... your crying songs.. your dying breathe... to be close would be to die with u.. can u tell my secrets? you've hidden yours well.

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