Date	Name/email Nom/email	What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13? Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
15 Feb 2005	Jess	What is the best way? When you're under 13?! I have the answer for you. Let me tell you: When people are shit to you, they make you feel worthless right? And you think/know theres no one that understands? Guess what? I understand. But there's no point killing yourself when it'll just make everyone else win. FUCK, I want to win!!! So if I stay alive, and seek revenge on all the cunts that fuck me up then I win. It's quite satisfying and there's no bullshit with trying to off myself either. Those people dont govern me or you. You do, its your life. If it sux... Fucken change it and stop complaining that you want to die. You dont, you just want a change. Make it happen then... New Zealand...
14 Feb 2005	Jesse	I feel crap. I have since i was 11. Im now 15, nearly 16. I keep thinking about killing myself more and more recently. Now its everyday, constantly. Something stops me though. It used to be because of my friend. She has loads of problems, depression, anxiety, scitzophrenia, and loads more things i dont understand and i dont wanna hurt my friends by puttin them under more stress. Im not sayin i suffer from depression. I just hate life. I hate everything about it and i wish i had the courage to kill myself. Whenever i decide to do it something happens like when my other mate got cancer. I just feel worthless. I dont fink ppl will miss me so i dont know why im still here. I dont understand. I hate it. I cant tell anyone how i feel. I tried but she finks im bein stupid and i told my ex bf because he said he got depressed a lot and i thought he would understand. i said 'i get upset for no reason and i want to kill myself' and he told me i was a fuckin idiot and he would never talk to me ever again if i ever said anything like that again. Im a freak. I feel empty and numb and im sick of feeling like this. I cant tell anyone because they treat me like im a freak! everyone thinks about killing themself and ive convinced myself that everyone thinks about it everyday atleast 3 times a day
14 Feb 2005	Religious Maggie	Hello Darlings! Have you missed me and my poosy? I hope so. I have been having fun by coating my breasts in mayonaise and launching myself onto tthe church altar and slipping around on it like a fish. Everyone loves it. Especially God as it adds lubrication so he can have easy access to my poose.
14 Feb 2005	hang gook sa ram	I think upon this teary night, my hopes and dreams are out of site.. I look, I stare, i see , I glance. At this world without a chance. In this place where children cry all look on without a sigh. i hope, i dream, i wish, i pray that i will see a better day.... by me. Hee Sin..
14 Feb 2005	strawberrryblonde	I think this site is in serious need of some positivity. I really sympathize with some of the stories on this site and those people who really experienced awful painful times. However some people on this site are just sick fckrs who act as if suicide is a game as if it isn't serious. well it is so i don't think y'all should be talkin so flippantly about it. It is comforting to hear that other people have lead horrible lives, it makes you feel that your not alone and your life is not so bad. But can u not add a positive section to the site, like 'survivors' section or something. Oh yeah i too tried commitin suicide at 14, i tried 3/4 times but im not 17. if you still haven't commited suicide after four years you gotta realise you are probably stuck in this crummy world forever. if you couldn't do it the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time you sure as hell wont do it the 4th time. but im interested in anythin constructive ne one has to say about anythin. if there is ne one here is is or was suicidal but yet still kinda wants to live and wants to believe in hopes and dreams well contact me. i tink it would be a gould thing.
14 Feb 2005	CALVIN HONEY-JONES	GO IN THE CORNER OF YOUR ROOM AND SWALLOW RAZOR BLADES AND IF YOUR GONNA DO IT THEN DO IT FCUKING RIGHT, OR I GOT ANOTHER SUGGESTION DRINK BLEACH
14 Feb 2005	caed clark	if some one comes from behind u and claps their hands against your ears you ear drums will explode, and you'll die of internal bleeding, not the best way to go but assured death, but before you die watch angel sanctuary, email me and i can get it to you...
14 Feb 2005	The Singing Barbarian from the Savage North	WO0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14 Feb 2005	Ryan	i wish that i was 13 again. the worse feeling in the world is wanting to kill yourself and not having the courage to go through with it. a strong individual? try a coward. the screwed up thing about it is that no one even knows about it, my thoughts, my feelings, etc... if they do, i don't they they would care.
13 Feb 2005	Brandon	After reading about other people lives, and despite how horrible they have been, they continue to live. It makes me wonder about why I want to die. I've had a pretty decent life: parents who actually care about me, good friends I've somehow made despite how pathetic I am, and something of a future ahead of me. I'm 18 years old right now, and I've only been having suicidal thoughts since I was 16. Kind of sad really, that I would want to kill myself despite the fact that I've had a pretty good life. I can't quite explain it myself. Since puberty, I've always thought about the "big" questions. Why are we here? Why even bother? But really it was only dabbling in philosophy rather than a genuine wish to snuff out my own existance. I was curious about death, but in an intellectual fashion. But a little after I turned 16, my thoughts focused more and more on suicide. Still, it wasn't so bad that I tried to kill myself, but I bitterly questioned what the fucking point to living was. I probably started suffering from depression at this point, but honestly I can't remember the exact time. So these thoughts kept developing, each day it seemed worse, but I was still able to cope. However, life is hardly so simple. This is going to sound trite, but things got complicated when I met this girl. To this point in my life, I never was in love before, and it hit me like a sledgehammer in the chest. This girl, she was, is, wonderful. I know she isn't perfect, but that's not important. The important thing was that I believed that I had found a reason for existing, something to make life worthwhile. I do not throw the word 'love' around so callously. I would die for her. I can't really describe why I feel that way about her, the fact that I love her for who she is will have to suffice. And no, I don't love her because she's physically attractive (though I believe she is the most beautiful girl in the world), but rather (and this is going to sound very lame) because of the beauty of her soul. From the moment she spoke to me, I knew I could spend the rest of my life with her. She made me forget about all my horrible thoughts, and my desire to kill myself. For the first month it was fine, but of course I wanted to express how I felt. Naturally, I was rejected; she did not feel the same. I expected as much, but it didn't make it hurt any less. We remained friends however. After I turned 17, things got worse. These thought of suicide grew as I began to develop a greater understanding or the world and myself. I began to detest my very existance. I hated my very humanity, I hated the fact that I loved her (not her herself) and I caused her problems with my love, I hated my physical condition (I'm not in the greatest shape to say the least), I hated the nature of the world, and I hated how life would end no matter what, no matter what I did, there wasn't any point. These thoughts caused me a lot of pain. I constantly screamed to myself to end it all and save myself the trouble. My life was a hell I inadvertantly created for myself. The months passed by, my hatred of myself grew, as did my desire to die. But being a coward, I never attempted suicide, just endlessly thought about it. Life wasn't all bad; I have a few great memories of the time I spent with her, I was truly happy. The rest of the time I was fucking miserable. Somehow I managed to stumble through life for a while. But about five months ago, something happened. I was talked to her (while at school), and for some reason (I honestly cannot remember) she said to me, that I "lied to her everyday". I thought she was referring to my love for her. My entire went cold, and I said something along the lines of "There're just some things I can't accept" in a hoarse whisper, and I left. At that point, I felt a burning shame, and an overwhelming desire to die. I felt that I truly had to reason to live, and that no one would mourn my death, and even that everyone would be better off if I died, since I believe I am a huge burden to everyone. Probably self-esteem issues. So I had the will to kill myself at last, but I wondered how I was to do it. I was still cowardly and didn't want to hurt myself (living is hardwired into our brains and it's amazing hard to bypass), but I wanted to die so bad. I couldn't afford sleeping pills, and I didn't want to steal money from anyone to buy them. I wasn't sure if they would work anyway, and I wanted to die, not destroy my liver and make my life worse. So I decided that since I hated consuming so much (still do. I hate how I have to consume life to continue my own, and I'm talking about animals and plants) that I would die from dehydration. It didn't require any money, and it's not all too obvious (I easily played it off as fatigue). The only hard part is maintaining the willpower to not drink any liquid or eat any food, and instinct is a bitch to circumvent. So that day (being Friday), I started my suicide. Now, being thirsty is annoying and can be painful. Dying of dehydration is pure hell. My throat swelled so much that it became hard to swallow, every breath I took was stagnant and foul, and it felt as if I had a burning fever. I lasted in this fashion the entire weekend. I wrote a brief suicide note to her, absolving her of any responsibility for my death, and waited to die. Every minute was an eternity, and I thanked God when I was able to sleep, for I couldn't feel the overwhelming desire to satiate my thirst, although my dreams tormented me with liquid. Sunday came around, and I wanted to apologize to her for my dishonesty. So I wanted until Monday, and after suffering through a day of school I talked to her briefly after class. I apologized. At first she didn't have any idea what I was talking about. One can imagine how I felt, then she remembered, and said that she was talking about something else entirely, and that she was joking. My mind came to a complete stop. I didn't know what to say. She didn't hate me for my loving her, and she wasn't angry with me at all. Basically, I had completely misunderstood her. Then again, maybe she saw in my eyes my death wish and meant to stop it (I'd like to think this). Regardless, she saved my life. My will to die faded, I felt that I could go on if I could still be with her (only as a friend but whatever). After school I downed an enture 2 liter of root beer. Never had I felt more alive. Oh, how I wish that feeling wouldn't have left me. I'm facing suicidal thoughts again. Since then my depression has only gotten worse, and I've made a couple more attempts at my own life (not as serious as the first, but still cause for concern). Last month, I wrote her a letter, saying that I still had feelings for her, but that I was going to move on and my writing the letter to get everything off my chest was going to help me. Understandably, she was, well, livid. She has a boyfriend that she's very serious with, and she's happy with him. I'm glad that she's happy, she deserves it, and who am I to want to take that away from her. I suppose she's probably tired of putting up with my shit. Since then, I haven't really talked to her. Not only do I feel horrible because I'm not talking to her, and I know that after we graduate from high school I'll never see her again, but also because it feels as though I've lost one of my best friends. I don't know what to do. I've just been more angry and depressed, and thinking more and more about shuffling myself off the mortal coil. Hanging out with my friends helps, but ultimately, I feel empty and alone. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to talk to her, maybe we can still be friends. So that's me. Pretty damn pathetic in my opinion. I know it's foolish to kill yourself over love, but I don't believe that I'll ever find anyone to love me. That's just how I feel. Like I said before, I wonder how people with horrible lives can even contemplate going on, how do they keep from killing themselves? I'll try to continue on for now. Hopefully everyone else will do the same. If not, then well, I hope you find the peace in death you lacked in life.
13 Feb 2005	Sam	go into a trailor-park and yell Fuck Wal-Mart it sucks on a mega phone Note also a good time consuming hobby but if doing just for fun remember to have a fast go-cart or four wheeler ready
13 Feb 2005	Jon	LOok i dont know how long it will take for someone to respond, so i may not see the response, everyone here does have a hard life, Well here's mine. I am a great looking guy, im not cocky i swear to it, im just stating a few things before i get to what im gettting at. I have... had a bmw till last night. I've been on probation since i was 15, im now 19. Last night i was doin the saturday routine, gettin drunk with friends. Well i went to drive home put my car in a ditch, this morning i went back to it this morning, and its not there. It got impounded of course. I dont have my lisence now because of isurance stuff. But now im lookin at dui, leaving the scene of an accident, reckless driving, hitting a mail box (federal offense right there) and whatever they's wanna slap on me. Im in adult probation right now, so i'll get a violatoin of probation. I'm not lonely, im just a fuck-up. It sucks, i have so much potential, im smart when it comes to almost anything. But look, i am a fuck up, i moved out with my sis when i got out of jail last march. I am 19 and been locked up almost as many times as years i've lived. Detention centers and jail. Now im looking at going back to jail. Look i could easily do the time i have, get out and start a new life. Well i've already done my time and tried startin over my life, i've once again failed. I dont want to be a depressing issue to my family for always messing up. It hurts me to hurt them. and trust me i know it will hurt them soooo much more if i do kill myself. But at least their worries will be over, no more wondering if im alright, no more being bothered by me needing help once again cuz i messed up. THey'll know im somewhere where i can no longer mess up. That means more to me than being a burden. They'd probably prefer me being a burden then me being dead. But its not about them, i feel miserable being considered a burden. Look, i have so much to look forward too, growing older, having a gorgeous wife with children, making lots of money and living a great life. But i wont be able to pull it off, i will mess up and ruin everything. I dont want to let friends and family down. Right now im listening to the song "some will seek forgiveness others escape" by underoath. He states in the song that "jesus im ready to come home". He says it so beautifully its amazing. I probably will not go to heaven if i do kill myself. They say there is a heaven and hell. Well i hope to god dying is more like a dream you dont wake up from, just a constant and steady dream going on forever. A mix of nightmares, and great dreams. This i hope will be my heaven. And i hope that if heaven is a place, then i want to go there, i want an afterlife of bliss, where i cant mess up, where there will be nothing but love, and comfort. After all thats what we all want right? to be comforted. Well look someone post soon, i am just tryin to work up the urge to do what i THINK i need to do. Thanks guys, im glad i found this forum cuz i do feel sort of ok with maybe ending it.
13 Feb 2005	Rev. Poosy	Hello folks. Well, we had an interesting church service today. I am sure the Religious Maggie is a member of the congregation. Well, we do have a member called Maggie who goes to the altar and pulls down her knickers so that she can put wafers up her holy hole and in turn, each member of the congrgation has to pull the wafer out which is pre-dipped in holy wine. But today it was rather different. People were pulling out Kitkats. Whether this is because we are nearing the easter period i dont know. Although i hear you saying "you cant eat chocolate during lent", but let me tell you this; during lent Sundays are a feast day and so you can have chocolate. God bless you darlings +
13 Feb 2005	Matthew	I'm basically responding to I WANT TO DIEEEE. But suicide has been part of me since I've moved to AR. My friends are all in NM, everyone here is fake and cliche. The love of my life hates me. My family is horrible. I just yelled it out with my mom and told her all about my drug use tonight. I might get kicked out of the house and have nowhere to go. So i might end up in the Army (thats one hell of a way to kill yourself; you can even kill other people-legally). Well, there's sooooooooooooo much more, and I'm tired and not going to write all this. If you (author of I WANT TO DIE) or anyone else need to talk, im me on yahoo (hack_the_sack_forlife).
13 Feb 2005	What is this like?	Looking ahead, I see a long life spent totally alone. People do not hate me, they just don't care. Every weird kid seems to find his or her counter part, or group. But it seems like there just isn't one for me. Every time I reach out my hand to anyone it is slapped. I used to hate people because of it, but now I realize that was petty. So now I am just depressed. My grades are good, although I am by no means a strait A student. I am of average or perhaps a bit higher intelligence. So fine, I will just have to learn to live without human contact. But I just don't know if I can do that.
13 Feb 2005	clayton baldwin	the best way to do it is to grow some balls and go for it shoot your moth out drink bleach do any thing just fucking do it im going to tonight at midnight in westrn time (arizona)im gonna drop my tv in the bath tub full of gas so ill burn twice id rather be in hell with satan torturing me than living this gay life fuck it all ive been brutally humilliated ive been a weak little bastard that every one fucking hates im a cast away a timmid little shadow of a human forced to live out in solitaire no body feels my pain like i do so so ill be with the 666 in a few hours unless you can find a stupid untrue god like way to stop me wich you cant so fuck every thing and end your life with me ill see you in hell bitch (unlucky 14)
13 Feb 2005	clayton baldwin	shhot your goddamn brains out im going to tonight so fuck yall and have a nice life
13 Feb 2005	Pat	Hello everyone my name is Pat. I am not 13 but rather 20 and have been struggling with depression and suicide since I was 7 or 8 years of age. You see I know what a drag school can be how lonely and unloved all of you feeling. I know it and then some. I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father and several other strange family’s figures, which have killed themselves. I also am disabled. I can't walk and have limited use of my left arm; this isolated me from my peers even more and brought with it a new level of depression. Only one thing stopped me. I don't want to harm the people who (regardless if they talk to me or show me in any way) "love" me, and really we only live so long through it out and perhaps things will get better. My best to you all, remember to think before you leap. God Bless, Pat
13 Feb 2005	Rachele	This site is ridiculous.. 13 year olds thinking of suicide? If anyone is thinking of suicide.. Get some help. Talk to your Parents, your Teachers, call the Cops.. anyone.. THERE IS HELP OUT THERE. Killing yourself is not the answer... You are a winner.. Lets put it this way.. Out of MILLIONS of Sperms.. you are the one that WON when you got conceived... You won THAT race.. Why can't you win this one???
12 Feb 2005		I HATE MY MOTHER she causes me to want to die is it wrong to feel this way

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