Reading these suicide pages you will find people seeking help and people offering their help. Some witness about suicide from real life experience, others who play along with me would pretend it's a children's game. Some make sick and cruel jokes about it, and angry people blame me for even mentioning the subject. You might also want to read my favourite answers. If you want your answer to be included here, fill in the form.

Date Name/email

What is the best way to kill yourself when you're under 13?

Quelle est la meilleure forme de suicide pour les moins de 13 ans?
31 Jan 2002 Lucy Cortina "Man! I feel like a woman!"

'My dad is a tranny' story:
I was looking for tweezers in mum and dad's bedroom. Why mum thought I wouldn't find them in dad's tie drawer, I don't know. I did find something very strange in the tie drawer as well as the tweezers. It was a sort of apron thing in a special box. I hope against hope dad is not a transvestite. It'd be more than flesh and blood could stand if I had to 'understand' his feminine side. And me, mum and my sister have to watch whilst he clatters around in one of mum's nighties and fluffy mules... we'll probably have to start calling him Daphne.
I suppose dad was surprised when he came to tackle me about dyeing my hair blond. "At least I'm a real woman!!" I shouted at him. "What in the name of ass is that supposed to mean?" he said. Honestly, he can be so crude sometimes.

After dinner, when dad was doing the washing up, I said casually "Why don't you use your special apron, dad?"
He went ballistic and said I shouldn't go prying through his drawers. I said "I think I have a right to know if my dad is a transvestite!" Mum laughed, which made him even madder. Mum said "Calm down darling, it's just that it's quite funny to think of you as a transvestite". Then she started laughing again. Dad went off to the pub, thank goodness.
Mum said "It's his Masonic apron. You know, that huddly duddly, pulling up one sock, I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine sort of thing".
I smiled and nodded, but I haven't the remotest idea what she was talking about.
30 Jan 2002 Lucy Cortina "Lesbian Lust"

Someone farted in assembly this morning (I suspect nauseating P.Green). Whoever it was, it was really loud and it was during the silence we were having to think about all the poor people. And it wasn't just a quick one, it was a real knee trembler.
At the moment I'm absolutely frozen. I may have TB. Honestly, Miss Stamp is obviously a sex pervert as well as clearly being a lesbian. Why else would anyone make girls run around in sports knickers hitting a ball with sticks? She calls it hockey - I call it the wanderings of a sick mind. If I miss the party cos of lesbian lust Miss Stamp WILL DIE. SHE WILL DIE.
(and I can vouch for that).
29 Jan 2002 Lucy Cortina "Sisters are doin' it for themselves"

Today I went for a walk with my sister in her push chair. She was singing "I am the queen, oh I am the queen".
To my absolute shock horror, we bumped into this really hot boy that I fancy. He came over and said Hi. My sister looked casually up at him, and said "I am the queen". He said "Are you?" (ohhh, he's so lovely to children).
Then my sister said "Yes, I am the queen and Lucy did a big poo this morning".
I couldn't believe it. He could not believe it. It was unbelieveable, that's why! I said quickly "Er, well, I'd better be going". He said "Yes cu later". Thinking quickly I said "See you at Kim's party maybe?" and he said "Maybe".
Bloody hell!! Sacre bleu!!
27 Jan 2002 Lucy Cortina "Neighbours"

We have 2 neighbours. One of them I call 'The Sea Monster'. All she does all day is shout. She's also ugly and wears tartan, and needs to visit the ugly home with me. The other neighbour I call 'The Bore'. He lives alone, he likes opera music and gardening. He seems to have a relationship with his garden plants (although I dont know if it is sexual). Once a month, he covers his garden with, what I presume are the contents of his toilet. The smell is awful! Eughh.
Also, I suspect my mum is having an affair with him. She pops round to his house every few days, taking doughnuts for him. Ahhh!!! What if he becomes my stepdad???
Why can't the neighbours commit suicide? PLEASE LORD!
27 Jan 2002 Lucy Cortina It's like this. I've decided that I'm going to make regular posts on this website. And to be honest, suicide is far too boring so I'm gonna try and cheer up you people, and make you realise that life is worth living. And I'm gonna put a title to my posts.

"I use it to keep my balls still"

> At school, my teacher (not the lesbian) was illustrating a point with the aid of some billiard balls on a tea towel on his desk. So I put my hand up and asked him: "What part does the tea towel play in the molecular structure?" This is when he made his fateful mistake - he said "Ah no, I merely use the tea towel to keep my balls still". It was pandemonium. I could not stop laughing! So you see, if you feel suicidal just get a video of Friends or somethin and have a laugh. Life isn't so bad!
27 Jan 2002 Renegade-X MY MISSION FOR GOD
When I was under 13, I threatened suicide to my parents by drinking petroleum solvents. But they convinced me not to, for I would get sick first, so I abandoned the idea. Then when I was 11 1/2, I tried electrocuting myself, but still, my efforts were futile.
My suggestion to you is if you can't find a GOOD WAY TO KILL YOURSELF, then you should wait until your a little older, for there will be a lot better creative opportunities available.
I'm now just 3 days from turning 18 and I am scheduled to die this summer. I'm was or still am a self-mutilator, I have a developing psychotic disorder, as my pussy-ass shrink says. I have been treated for years, but nothing helps.
I also have Asperger's Syndrome (an autistic spectrum disorder), which is why no motherfucker can ever understand me. But now, I've realized what kind of person I am. I am older and wiser, but my life is still going to hell. So I want to die now! For if I don't, I'll drift more into insanity and probably soon end up in a mental hospital again, like last year when I tried overdosing on Advils while in school.
I will be doing this in the name of God, for it will maybe lessen the corruption of today's society. But mostly, I want it to have a great effect on my family, because of the suffering they have inflicted upon me. Especially my step-mom, who's been abusive to me for most of my childhood. Even though she's a very religious Jew, the fat, ugly bitch still doesn't understand the act of kindness. She entitles her daughter, my stepsister every right in the house, while posing so many restrictions on me. Hopefully, my horrible death will cause emotional harm to my entire family, including my mother, for divorcing my father, and my father, for remarrying to that chicken-head.
Another reason why I'm doing this is because I feel that the world is coming to an end, especially after the September 11 incident, I feel that there is nothing left in this world for me. Since I was 11 1/2, I had such a huge interest in aviation and I've always wanted to learn how to fly. But now, after I heard about how a handful of highly motivated terrorists could turn 4 civilian airliners into guided buzz-bombs loaded with Jet-A, I feel like I've lost all my pleasures in life. There is nothing left!
It's not just the Islamic militants, Neo-Nazis, drunks, drug abusers, other psychotic maniacs (like the mother who drowned her children in the bathtub), criminals, and other lowlifes that I blame for taking everything away from all of us. It's the entire human population that fucks everything up, ever-since Adam bit into the forbidden fruit. Ever-since the serpent convinced him to perform that first sin.
Before the Hebrews could be led into the Land of Israel, they were given 2 choices, to sign a covenant, agreeing that they would, for life, follow all of God's commandments. If not, they were to walk the desert for 40 years.
Self, annihilation as it says, is condemned in Judaism and Christianity. I totally have no belief in this because I know that in my heart that this is only a man-made law that some self-proud imbecile inscribed in the Holy Torah, or wherever else. I, for certain, do not believe that God ever condemned suicide, saying that he, the omni-present, the King of the Universe, can only be the arbitrator of who will and will not pass from this earth. He only mentioned that Thou Shall Not Kill another man. He never mentioned that Thou Shall not take your own life, for he has left that up to us.
As God created man, he had entitled everyone in that form to receive, love, pain, happiness, grief, sorrow, anger, envy, and disease and punishment. But most of all, he gave us all free will. A free will to do anything. But we all have abused this privilege by committing murder, theft, sex crimes, and pain among the helpless and feeble souls. If this is how we are to live, then we show God that we hate him and his creation, for wanting to live as a human being is a sin. I'd say because of this, it would make God more secure if we all killed ourselves.
Pride is one of the 7 deadly sins around. The Jews and Christians and others are a rogue religious group comprised of nations and organizations who take pride in who they are and tend to preserve their traditions and sinful legacies. They condemn suicide because they want to fight against what is right for humanity. What I believe in is a healthy way to remove the tumors of this society. I kind of have the mind of Young Goodman Brown, huh?
I have no pride in who I am, because I know that I am part of the sinful nation and that I must be punished, for I must redeem myself. At this very moment, my skin crawls with maggots and lice, because I'm an ugly-looking four-legged animal called a human being.
The Jews and Christians and others, take too much pride in themselves, thinking that they make up the good of the people. No fancy clothes, jewelry, cunning personality, or generosity will ever hide from me who they really are, for they all and everyone who doesn't follow the right path of salvation is part of the sinful nation and is doomed to the eternal fire. If they all had the mind like me, they'd all grab a box cutter and carve a mark on their foreheads so when onlookers pass by them, they'd know who they really are.
God gave us free will in order for us to do the right thing, not to kill others in cold blood. He truly welcomes suicide as a healthy way to cleanse a nation of its sins. Even though it may anger him, he still shows love and compassion to those who have no where to turn.
I have chosen the best way to die.
I'm 18 now and as mentioned before. If you want to die right, you must be patient and wait for the right window of opportunity. As for me, I now have legal access to a hunting rifle or a shotgun. Even before when I was still a minor, I was able to purchase two high-powered CO2 air pistols with no problem. But I will not attempt to kill myself with them because they do not have enough power to inflict serious damage, but it'll cause me more pain and if not for any internal bleeding, it'll take days for me to die of lead poisoning and I'd probably just end up in a hospital bed.
If you want to die right and do not have a criminal record, do what I will do.
I will go to the nearest Dick's Sporting Goods store and purchase a 12 gauge shotgun (a good one like a Mossberg Trophy with a cool scope). I'll have to sneak it into the house somehow; maybe by throwing it up on the roof so that I can fish it from my bedroom window. If my parents find out, they'll tear my ass up so bad.
But I'll find the best time to purchase it by finding out what day they'll go out shopping. I'll ask if I can borrow one of their cars, and if they agree, then I have a shot. There is no other safe way to transport the fucker, so sticking it in the trunk and driving home is the only fastest and legal way to get it without risking the fucking cops.
When it's time for me to die, I will make sure that my parents are out of the house shopping or something else. I will discharge their cell-phone batteries so they can't call for help when they get back. I will take all my shit to the backyard, where there's concrete foundation that's used for the deck. That will be used for my cremation pyre. I will cut the phone lines and use an axe to smash the telephone interface box so that communications will be cut off.
Finally, I will douse myself in gasoline and light a match, causing myself to go up in flames. And at last, I will stick the shotgun barrel in my mouth, making sure that the muzzle makes positive contact with the upper palate and pull the trigger. The ammo I'll use will be 12 GA. Copper Sabots, to ensure that my skull explodes instantly, spilling my brains and shit all over the wall of the house while my stepsister's grandmother watches helplessly from the window.
I can imagine that my funeral will be just like the one for Mathew Feiner, a kid in our community who killed himself. I heard that he ODd on pills, put a bag over his head and blew his brains out with his pistol. One thing that makes no sense to me is him putting that bag over his head , even though he knew he was going to put a hole in it. Even though I cried over his death that Saturday night even though I didn't know who the guy was, I praise him for what he was done.
I've seen how his death had sent a shockwave throughout the whole community. First his family, then our school, even though he didn't go there. I am truly proud of him, for he really set an example for us. I just can't wait to meet him when my time comes. In the meantime, my family will be chanting,

"Yisgadal v'yiskadash sh'mei rabbah."

Oh, and to all You motherfuckers who do not respect our goals and try to turn us away from our deeds of self-annihilation, well Fuck You! We don't care about your bullshit suggestions. You may think you're trying to help, but your not. You're the ones who make our lives horrible and you rob us of our freedom. You are the bullies who torment us in school. Fuck you assholes! Fuck you! You can't stop us from killing ourselves. No matter how many rude comments or any help suggestions you add to this site, you can't stop us.
We are One. We will increase and our bodies will clog the cemetery grounds. We are many, we are star-crossed. We are powered by the will of thanatopsis and YOU LITTLE SHITS ARE NOTHING! I suggest that ya'll should log off now and instead, go fuck yourselves with a bag over your heads so that YOU ALL WILL DIE like the rest of us. But if you're too chicken, why don't ya'll take a sledge-hammer and smash your modems into pieces so that you can never go on this site and bother us again with your lame-ass excuses for living in hell!
No one will try to stop me from killing myself. Just a note to any of you who try to impede my goal. If you're a teacher, my parent, or any other bitch, don't you ever, I mean ever get into my way! For if you do, I will seriously fuck up your mind and physical being so bad, that you will wish that God made you without testicles.
I mean it! If you ever step onto my property, I will handcuff you to the fence that makes up the perimeter of my backyard, and beat you up with the butt of my shotgun. Then, I will make you watch me kill myself. You will even taste my blood and brains as they splatters everywhere. You'll be a live witness to my suicide.
And to any police who'll try the same. You may have sent me to the hospital last time. I've spent 9 fucking days locked up because of you, PIGS! You may think you've won, but this time, I'll be ready and I'll execute my plan. DON'T EVER INTERLOPE!
Remember, I will have all my guns with me all the time and I can and will use deadly force at all times. Do not come near my house. I will keep my scanner on at all times and I have all the police frequencies programmed. I'm as good as dead, so it'll do no good trying to save me. If you come into my property, I will take one of you out with my shotgun and the other one of you will have to shoot me back. If you do, please try to hit me in the heart or the head so that I'll die instantly.. That's supposed to be your role as a law officer. You're nothing but a couple of Nazis who make it hard for everyone else. I hope you all die and go to hell, fuckers!

If any of you are like me, can you please e-mail me at:

I've always wanted to hold a conversation with someone who's gone through the same shit as I had.
26 Jan 2002 Lucy Cortina I just discovered that my sister has used the last of my sanitary towels to make hammocks for her dolls. AHHHHHHHHH! I'm as close as ever to suicide!!
26 Jan 2002 Lucy Cortina There are 8 things wrong with my life:

1. I have one of those under-the-skin spots that will never come to a head but lurk in a red way for the next 2 years.
2. It is on my nose.
3. I have a 3-year-old sister who may have peed somewhere in my room.
4. I am very ugly and need to go to an ugly home.
5. I went to a party dressed as a stuffed olive.
6. My teacher is a lesbian.
7. She makes us go jogging in the cold in our gym knickers.
8. I suspect my dad is a transvestite. (I found a pink apron in his bedroom)

* If you want a form of suicide, try walking a mile in my shoes. You will soon think of plenty of good ideas.
25 Jan 2002 true name the best way to kill yourself when you're 13 is to live a long life and die of natural causes. i could get very philosophical about this, but the answer to this Koan is simple. life is death. death is life. your body and brain are your suicide kit.

i could get semantic and argue the meaning of 'best' but that's pointless.

if you're actually asking 'what's the best way to exorcise these hormonal demons i'm living with by eliciting pity from strangers by being histrionic about suicide' then refer to the other silly answers above and below mine
23 Jan 2002 CoW pAt Overdose on milk. You stupid cow!
17 Jan 2002 Lahash What is light without darkness, joy without pain? Life is a series of ups and downs. We may be on top of a mountain one day and deep in a valley the next. Anyone can tell you it takes a lot less effort to get down into that valley. You have to work hard to get to the summit of a mountain, but sinking low is easy. When we feel good it's hardly noticed by our little brain. There is a reason we have the saying "Time flies when you're having fun". But when we don't feel so good time is an eternity. Every second stretches on into hours and the very experience of feeling such a black mood quickens our path down the spiral. We forget what it was like to be happy, even start to think we never were. Eventually you get so emotionally, mentally, and physically tired that you just want it all to end. But it won't. No matter how much you wish, no matter how much you pray (and you will pray for death, pray hard, before you try to help it along) it isn't going to happen. And in your heart you know that things will get better. You know that, eventually, you will find something to place you back on that mountain. You may not believe what you know, but it is how life works. Unfortunately you also know that waiting is its own form of torture. Is it worth spending 5, 10 ,15 years waiting for a purpose? I don't know. But I'm at 5 years now. Life is still bleak. I still pray for death everyday. But I also add a little prayer for hapiness. I figure I have a better chance getting an answer if I provide a list of options ;-) And after all, isn't that what life is? Not that B.S. about "oppurtunity". Oppurtunity denotes getting something you want - and you may have noticed life ain't exactly a great provider. It's always been about options. A or B. C or All the above. Too bad you can't turn back the pages when you choose a wrong answer! And once you die you're not going to be making a whole lotta choices are you? As I said "life" is about options. And, as a gambler at heart, I like to keep mine open...
16 Jan 2002 Noelle Dawson I typed in "How to Commit Suicide' into and this was the best it came up with. There's a few good ideas here once you weed out all the bullshit (some of which I found VERY amusing--seriously I was laughing my ass off) and the goody-goody-bitches who want to save our asses by saying they love us. Seriously, this is a suicide page, so if you aren't suicidal then fucking press the 'back' button and leave. please. I was really disappointed in this site though. There aren't very many good ideas on here. Oh well. Humanity will get more creative next generation huh? Well, good shot though anyway. I admire you for making out this page--it was the only half-way helpful thing on this damned inter-fucking-net. Stay sweet, y'all...
03 Jan 2002 angry fucker who is pissed off!!! You shouldn't ever kill yourself. Rather, you should kill everybody else. Don't take the kind of shit from everybody who tells you that you are worthless. Don't even tell yourself that!

Are you fucking worthless if you can kill somebody. What if it's somebody you hate. Shoot your fucking parents, shoot your classmates and rape your fucking cute teacher!!! You are the master of your own fucking life and the least you could do to take that responsibility is by making sure you can fuck over anybody you fucking want!

This isn't a joke. I know a girl who is suicidal and I keep telling her that if she can kill someone that she isn't worthless!

Don't numb the pain! Don't revel in it!! Just make other people suffer the same way you do, it's the only way to live.
22 Dec 2001 Titney Spears If you are like me, turn up at the MTV awards with a snake round your neck, and suffocate in front of all those famous people. If you have plastic tits then thats a bonus, cos all you need to do is stand near the heating system, and wait for the tits to explode. Wow! Then all those lusty guys can all have a piece of you!
If none of these apply then you could always listen to me singing "Stronger" on repeat!
14 Nov 2001 eenis penis find something to do, kid, before it finds you.
14 Oct 2001 rhatch join al-Qaeda and volunteer to crash a plane into a building, no one will suspect if you are under 13
06 Oct 2001 Andronicus Write your entire life story in your body with a knive, and then just wait until you bleed to death. Most original suicide note ever...
18 Sep 2001 firehead Go to New York city... jump off the Twin Tower B of the World Trace Center.... oh, I forgot... they're GONE!!!!
08 Sep 2001 Enzo Being trapped in your site, feeling at the same time dazzled and confused, I must confess, and admiring your ability to surprise me with almost every click, it finally dawned on me that if you could create the ultimate virtual experience, one a zillion times more engaging than this one, you could have people like me stay here forever, as it could be more entertaining than life itself. Forever? That is until we die, there is no forever for our awareness of being, at least so I am afraid.

Maybe we are living inside a suicide kit already. We are probably reluctant to accept it that way, at least I am.

Some solutions in the kit may be faster than others, but I am not going to give you a faster one than continuing to push the envelope while waiting for your time. You have a lot to offer.
29 Aug 2001 Azariel Abernathy A REAL suicide kit
I recently got to visit MassMoCA, or the Massachussets Museum of Contemporary Art. There, in an exibit on FLUXUS, an art movement that flourished and faded in the '60s and '70s. In one display case, there was a dark wooden box, labeled in in black paint as a Suicide kit. The contents included 2 shotgun shells, a razor blade wrapped in tissue paper, and best of all, a plug with a 2 conductor cord coming out of it. Attached to the cord were two alligator clips, one on each wire. In short, it was a finely crafted, well aged, autoelectrocution device! What fun...

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